Sources within Apple’s iPod division have slowly been leaking information about the video iPod (or “iPod video” as it will be marketed) which, it has now been confirmed, will be released at the special event the company has announced for October 12th.
According to sources, the video iPod – in addition to taking Apple’s consumer electronics masterpiece in an exciting new direction – will be “so shweeeet you will [experience a sudden, uncontrollable ejaculation].”
Specs of the iPod video passed to Crazy Apple Rumors Site show that the spectacular new device will be an iPod in most respects – small, easy to operate, with a high-speed USB 2.0 connector – but one that plays video.
Hence the name.
Apple believes it will be so friggin’ shweeeet that it will sell “like a billion of these things.”
Reports indicate the iPod video will be “utterly boss looking, with a color screen and shiny and white and maybe black and stuff and have some other things like video out or some shit.”
“We’re gonna sell like a billion of these things,” a source said.
“It’s an iPod… that plays video. You can watch video on it – like on the bus or in class or under your desk at work. You know, just kind of tucked under the lip of your desk so no one can see you.
The source then demonstrated with an iPod photo, tucking it just under the lip of a desk and looking at it out of the corner of his eye while tapping randomly at a keyboard.
Analysts believe it is the ability of this new iPod to play video will set it above the other iPods, making it more attractive to potential buyers, particularly those who might like to watch video on a small, portable device.
It’s also friggin’ shweeeet.
“This is like an iPod but it plays video,” said an extremely earnest David Pogue of the New York Times. “I don’t know about you but I’m [physically aroused] right now.”
Pogue’s excitement – and that of many others in the Mac community – is expected to come to fruition next Wednesday.