Mac Users Mourn The PowerBook.


While not technically dead, the venerable PowerBook’s days are numbered, as the awfully-named MacBook Pro is set to take its place.

Throughout the Macintosh community, PowerBook users and lovers have expressed their deep sentiments of loss in the past several days over Apple’s erstwhile professional laptop.

In a tasteful ceremony earlier today, former PowerBook user Steve Rutter buried his beloved laptop in his back yard, marking the spot with a simple white cross.

Between tears, Rutter said “I… I can’t believe it’s gone. It was a 1.5 GHz aluminum model and still seemed like it had so much life left in it.

“I really have no idea why I buried it. It still worked and everything. Still… Steve said the PowerBook is dead, so…

Walking slowly away from the grave with his head bowed Rutter stopped suddenly.

“Wait a minute, what the hell am I going to use until February?”

On the rear window of his 1988 Chevy Camaro, Shaker Heights, Ohio, resident Brad Schiff placed a tribute to the PowerBooks he’s owned over the years.

“PowerBook 100,” Schiff said, taking a swig out of a bottle of fortified malt liqour. “That was the one that started it. 16 MHz with a max of 8 megs of RAM. Then the 180c, the 1400… the… the…

Schiff began to choke up as he continued his litany.

“The 2400! The Pismo! The first TiBook! Ahhh, dammit all to hell! Why do the good ones always have to die young?!”

Suddenly getting a wild-eyed look, Schiff threw the bottle away.

“I’m gonna kill that MacBook Pro! I’m gonna kill it!”

Attemting to charge vaguely in the direction of the Apple campus some 2,500 miles away, Schiff was quickly restrained by several of his friends, who shouted “Don’t do it, man! It ain’t worth it!”

“I’m gonna cut you!” Schiff screamed. “I’m gonna cut you, MacBook Pro! You hear me?!”

Apple declined to comment on whether or not the MacBook Pro heard Schiff.