Apple To Offer Other OS Choices.

After last week’s blockbuster announcement that Apple would support dual-booting of Intel-based Macs into Windows, Crazy Apple Rumors Site has learned that the company does not intend to stop there.

According to sources, Apple’s new policy will be that Mac owners are free to use whatever sucky-assed operating system they feel like, including:

  • Windows
  • Linux
  • OS 9
  • Be
  • OS 2
  • DOS
  • Whatever they use to run voting machines*
  • The Slavi OS, an operating system themed after popular Bulgarian entertainer Slavi.
  • He’s sort of like a Bulgarian Ed Sullivan.

In fact, the only operating system the company won’t allow users to run is the AmigaOS because it’s so fricking boss.

“Pardon the pun,” said Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller, “but if you want to poke yourself in the eye with a sharp stick, it’s no skin off my apple.”

Some believe that Apple is simply supremely confident that its OS is so superior that users will quickly learn who is, in fact, their daddy.

“Apple provides the best user environment available,” said Senior Vice President of Software Engineering Bertrand Serlet. “There’s really no reason to use anything else.

“But if you want to run Windows CE on your Mac mini and rub broken glass in your eyes and shove ticks in your ears while putting chili oil in that paper cut…

“Hey, knock yourself out.”

* Turns out that’s Windows again.