Apple Announces Something.

Apple announced something today at a press conference at the company’s Cupertino campus. Unfortunately, all accounts of the event were devoid of any details of what, exactly, it was that Apple announced.

This incident truly brings into question the company’s decision to use supermodel spokespersons, which male reporters apparently find rather distracting.

According to the New York Post’s Page Six “We Hear…” section, supermodel Gisele Bundchen shot a campaign for Apple’s “new Mac line” last week. Bundchen then flew to Cupertino where she announced…

Uh… something.

Reached at his office shortly after the event, Macworld magazine editor Jason Snell said “You know, the whole thing was kind of a blur. I remember a bikini and…

“I don’t really remember anything else.”

Analysts cannot decide whether Apple’s new program is ill-advised or a stroke of genius. If the company hopes to attract attention to new Intel-based Macs, hot babes in bikinis may distract more than reporters.

However, if the company was announcing that it was yet again the subject of a lawsuit, a distraction might be just the thing.

“I guess it was bad,” said the New York Times’ David Pogue. “But, honestly, I couldn’t tell you. Wasn’t listening. There was lycra and skin and…

“Oh, mama…”

Despite the controversy, many Mac users have asked Apple to escalate the new policy to naked hot spokesbabes.