Apple/SecureWorks Controversy Ends Bizarrely.

In a bizarre ending to the Apple/SecureWorks controversy (also known as Security Bitch Watch), technology industry sources indicate that the two companies – previously at bitter odds over the security of Apple’s Airport hardware and drivers – were seen making out together in the parking lot behind the dumpster.

More than just being extremely, disturbingly icky, this is particularly surprising as Apple announced it was releasing a wireless security patch late today and took the opportunity to take a jab at SecureWorks, giving them no credit for discovering any vulnerability.

News of their subsequent makeout session was, therefore, a shock to many.

“Wha-?” said ZDNet’s George Ou upon hearing the news. “But… but… after all I did for SecureWorks I thought…

“I thought SecureWorks and I… were…”

Ou burst into tears and ran into the girls bathroom.

According to those in the know, the entire controversy had built to this moment.

“You know how it is,” said Apple’s friend Gary shrugging. “You argue with someone and the tension builds between the two of you. It builds and builds and then finally the only thing that will release all that tension is… you know… makin’ out.

“Oh, don’t judge them,” Gary scolded. “Like you’ve never done it.”

Apple might have commented for this story if it wasn’t mashing face with SecureWorks.