MacQuarium Revised for iPhone.

The world of iPhone hacks was ripped a new one today as noted Mac writer and technology guru Andy Ihnatko has revised his well-received MacQuarium – a method of converting an all-in-one early Mac form factor into a fish tank – for the iPhone.

The iPhoneQuarium holds 10 cc of water (1/3 oz.) and can contain up to one million zooplankton, 500 brine shrimp, one flat worm, or a very irritated baby flounder.

Ihnatko has also published a companion pamphlet showing you how to use the iPhone’s SIM card slot to store one thin slice of maguro nigiri sushi.

The original MacQuarium held about two gallons of water.

“The touch screen on the iPhoneQuarium works just like a touch screen on a regular iPhone,” Ihnatko said, adjusting the brim of his hat several times. “When you touch the screen, you can ‘flick’ fish hither and fro just by tapping at the screen.

“Of course, that’s not some Core animation effect, it’s just the fish reacting to your finger. And, as everyone knows, you should never, never tap on a fish tank. No one knows why, it’s one of the great mysteries of life. I think maybe it voids the warranty on the fish or something.”

The iPhoneQuarium is portable, allowing one to view the tank’s denizens at will, as long as “you’re a sadistic bastard who thinks it’s funny to carry around living organisms, keeping them in the dark, constantly agitating them while you walk, and displaying them to others for your pleasure,” Ihnatko said. “It just depends how you roll.”

While the conversion requires a hardware hack involving disassembling the iPhone, Ihnatko said he’s working on a software-only implementation.

“I have no idea how I’m going to do that!” Ihnatko said. “I’m really looking forward to it.”

20 thoughts on “MacQuarium Revised for iPhone.”

  1. You know the iPhone should really be made into one of them hamster habitats. Linking three or four to make a deluxe hamster condo. Use the built in wifi internet tubes, I’m sure them hamsters can squeeze through them.

    Heck there’s probably already hundreds of hamsters loose on the internet already.

  2. This doesn’t have the same thrill of possible electrocution you get with the MacQuarium.

    On that basis I’m out. I won’t be investing.

  3. This is tremendously exciting as I’ll be able to show off my Sea-Monkeys without everybody rolling their eyes.

    Plus it gives me something to look at using my ProScope. And I can make Sea-Monkey videos!

  4. I’m typically a grammar and spelling Nazi, but I have to tell JT… “Let it slide, bro.”

    The bonus points for using “hither and fro” accurately in a sentence far offset that little typo.

  5. Please do not do this with an iPod Touch, only with an iPhone.

    The extra gigs make the flounder *VERY* anxious.

  6. I don’t think you realize how important this is:

    …”And, as everyone knows, you should never, never tap on a fish tank. No one knows why, it’s one of the great mysteries of life. I think maybe it voids the warrant on the fish or something.”

    This is very serious! I heard a case about a psychotic pirana. The FBI tracked the pirana down and got a warrant. They found all the evidence they needed to put the fish away, but since one of the agents tapped on the glass the warrant was voided. A judge threw the case and all the evidence out. That psychotic pirana is still free and clear. The bus load of nuns and orphans the fish skeletonized in under 2 minutes will never get justice.

  7. I think there is a hamster landlord living in my cable modem now.

    His name is Tiny Warner. The rent he charges is outrageous just for housing a few zeros and ones on an intransient basis.

    Maybe there is a cheaper dsl hampster?

  8. I made a MacQuarium out of an old iPod (3rd generation) but the dolphin really hated the buttons. I guess that shows you how smart they really are.ˆ

  9. Brine shrimp. Yeh. That’s what I want to have at my fingertips at a moment’s notice.

    I’m hoping someday to make a macquarium out of my 23″ Cinema Display, as long as it will still have room on the screen for Bookworm Deluxe.

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