Not to belabor the point, but we at Crazy Apple Rumors Site are still a little ticked at Apple for that “Beyond the rumor sites” shot. We bust our butts every week day and deserve a little more respect than that. It’s not like Apple makes it easy for us. Particularly since Steve Jobs came back, Apple employees have been as talkative as Chet’s girlfriend was at the CARS Holiday Party.
OW! KNOCK IT OFF, CHET, YOU WANKER! I’M WRITING A FRICKIN’ EDITORIAL! No, you shut up. No, you shut up. No, you shut up. Jerkweed. Hey, don’t eat my Krispy Kreme. Don’t look at my Krispy Kreme. Don’t even think about my Krispy Kreme. Just… just… don’t.
Okay.
No, you shut up.
Anyway, like I was saying, Apple makes it impossible for us to figure out what it’s up to, and then mocks us for the job we’re doing! Hel-lo?! Anyone other than us think Apple’s trying to have it both ways? Well, we at Crazy Apple Rumors Site wanted to give you an idea of what we’ve gone through the past few weeks to try to glean any information at all about what will be revealed at Monday’s MacWorld San Francisco Keynote.
Since the beginning of December, the CARS staff has been working overtime, scouring the internet, calling sources and driving slowly by One Infinite Loop staring out the window, in order to glean any hint of information. I even heard Chet call his girlfriend Emily at Apple, and say “So… uh… does the name ‘iWalk’ mean anything to you? No? How about ‘iPad’? No, huh? How about ‘i… uh… Doohickey’?” I think she chewed him out because later I heard him on the phone again and he was just saying “Okay. Alright. Okay. I won’t. Okay. Okay. Okay. Alright. Yep. Okay. Alright. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.”
Several times, Masako called some friends at Chiat/Day, Apple’s advertising agency, and spoke with them for hours in Japanese. The only thing was, I actually speak some Japanese and I could swear it sounded like she was doing a job interview. So, that might have been unrelated.
By the beginning of this week we were pretty much nowhere and were getting desperate. Finally, we took a drastic and, admittedly, probably stupid step and called Apple PR. We reached Cynthia McLaren and, in the spirit of a free and open press, we demanded to know what was going to be announced on Monday. Well, I did. Chet just pointed at me emphatically with both index and pinky fingers and mouthed “You the man!” McLaren just started laughing and said “Hey, Gary! I’ve got those morons at Crazy Apple Rumors on the phone!” We thought that was pretty rude. I mean, she didn’t even put her hand over the receiver. You know, people don’t think about this, but publishers of Apple rumors sites have feelings, too. Well, okay, the Entity doesn’t because he’s a big ball of energy. But the rest of us do.
The point is, we’re trying, folks. We’re trying our best to bring you the information you crave and we don’t think Apple’s being very nice about it. We’re all part of one big Mac community here. Sure, we don’t actually create anything, but we provide a service. Of sorts. All we’re asking for is some respect.
And a quick look at the LCD iMacs.
– John Moltz, Editor In Chief