Apple Revokes Panic Developer License

Apple has quietly revoked the developer license of long-time Mac and iOS software maker Panic, known for award-winning applications such as Transmit and widely praised games like Firewatch.

Panic co-founder Cabel Sasser said “We are attempting to contact Apple for more information. For the time being, customers can still install our apps on the Mac by allowing them to be installed as unsigned. We apologize for any inconvenience and we hope to have this situation, which we assume to be a misunderstanding, sorted out soon.”

Sources within Apple, however, indicate Panic may have a larger problem than it realizes. Crazy Apple Rumors Site has learned that the company’s license was pulled at the behest of none other than the Chinese government. China has recently flexed its muscle with U.S. firms — from the NBA to other software developers — and apparently objects to one recent Panic app in particular.

“Untitled Goose Game represents a clear and present threat to Chinese sovereignty,” said Yang Cheung, a spokesperson for the Chinese government.

Gesturing to a video of Untitled Goose Game gameplay, Cheung explained.

“The goose is a lawless force of rampant anti-nationalism. It encourages violence against the state and disrespects authority.”

“Look at him!” Cheung said. “He is disgraceful! The gardener is hard-working, a paragon of agricultural values. And what does the goose do? He steals his rake! He steals his radio, so he cannot listen to China National broadcasts. He locks him out of the garden, denying him of his livelihood! The goose is obviously a counter-revolutionary bent on nothing but anarchy.”

“He even steals the bell, which is used to ring out the victory of the people over the enemies of the state. Assuming you can figure out how to get into the model town area, which I found to be unnecessarily difficult.”

“Also, we don’t like the name ‘Panic’. It seems intended to cause unrest within the citizenry.”

Apple has so far declined to comment on the license revocation, but it did pull at its collar with one finger and grimace uncomfortably.

28 thoughts on “Apple Revokes Panic Developer License”

  1. I’m completely lost at how to advance in the goose game, but I’m extremely content to torment that gardener endlessly & relentlessly

  2. John Moltz is still John Gruber!! Proven by the front page link good to see CARS back after all these years.

    1. Well, I mean, I haven’t seen both Moltz and Gruber in the same room together. I’ve seen them at the same conference and they look absolutely nothing alike, but they both know a few special effects guys, right?

  3. Seeing CARS up and running really takes me back. Seeing comments enabled on a website other than YouTube also really takes me back.

  4. So, are you the Macalope, or is it Snell? Welcome returns to grand master of nationalistic fake, no, real news.

  5. I knew if I kept checking the RSS feed eventually Moltz would answer the call. At last, *this particular* long national nightmare is over.

    One down, one to go.

  6. Since I’m bigger than Steve . . . First!

    Also, I *got* goosed once, and it made me Panic.


    *You* decide.

    . . .

    But can you hurry up, ‘cos I’ve got a bus to catch.

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