Apple To Introduce Gary At Macworld NY.

While speculation about new products that might be introduced at next month’s Macworld Expo New York continues to run rampant, Crazy Apple Rumors Site has learned that Steve Jobs’ keynote will center around the introduction of Apple’s friend Gary.

According to sources close to both Apple and Gary, Jobs will take the stage and begin with an overview of the upcoming Jaguar release of Mac OS X. Then Jobs will continue to build the excitement with speed-bumped PowerMacs in a slightly altered enclosure, move to updated PowerBooks, and finally reach a fever-pitch crescendo with the introduction of Gary.

“Gary’s just a great guy,” said a source who dated both Gary and Apple at various times in the past. “If I could go out with either one of them again, it’d definitely be Gary.”

“Apple’s a little too needy, you know?” she confided.

Gary is expected to take the stage and dazzle Expo attendees with his caring and thoughtful conversation, his affable nature and his infamous dry sense of humor.

Industry analysts predicted Apple’s current user base will love Gary, and also speculated Gary will go a long way in attracting Windows users the Macintosh platform.

“I met Gary months ago,” said David Coursey, an Executive Editor at ZDNet. “And he was a big factor in my switch to the Mac.”

“He’s got this one story about being by his grandfather’s side when he died that will make the toughest guy break down and sob like a little kitten. Then he’ll lift you up by telling you about when he snuck into the Oscars and ended up partying all night with Cameron Diaz and Mark Wahlberg!”

“He’s just a great guy!”

Gary declined to confirm that Apple would be introducing him at Macworld next month, but did say he had plans to attend the Expo, that Apple was one of his “best buds” and that he really enjoyed speaking with CARS reporters.

He closed the conversation by saying “Hey, I’m really looking forward to meeting you next month! We should hang together. I’ve got some time on Friday, maybe we could just bum around the floor and then grab a beer. OK, you take care now, and I’ll see you next month!”