Archive for February, 2003

14 FebApple Really Trying Hard To Give A Damn About Opera.

According to sources within Apple, the company is really trying hard to give a damn that Opera may cease production of its web browser for the Mac because of Apple’s release of Safari. However, sources indicate Apple executives are having severe difficulty coming up with a solid reason why they should.

“Obviously we hate to lose any application for the Mac,” said Apple Senior Vice President for Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller, “But in this case I think I’ll make an exception!

“Ha-ha! No, but really, to the fine folks at Opera who worked, uh, so hard – I guess, I really don’t know – um, good luck! And, uh, thanks for… Well, just thanks.

“How was that? Did it sound sincere? Because I wanted to sound sincere. I’m not, of course, but…”

Senior Vice President for Applications Sina Tamaddon said “I know we’re supposed to care about our developers but, I mean, Opera? I dunno. Let’s just say I haven’t lost any sleep over it. Let’s just say I’m not having trouble eating. Let’s just say I can easily look myself in the mirror in the morning. Let’s just say I’m not having any problems in the bedroom because of this.

“Wait, you’re not going to print that last one, are you? Eh, I guess it’s OK.”

Apple’s belief is that the browser has become such an integral part of the computing experience that it needs to take responsibility for providing a quality browsing experience.

Asked if he was concerned about the potential loss of the skinable browser, Apple CEO Steve Jobs said “Oooh, it’s skinable!? Well, why didn’t someone say so!? You know how much I love skins! Because what would really make my browsing experience perfect is a Deep Space 9 skin that makes the browser look like a Ferengi browser! That’s what I need!

“But, to answer your question… no.”