Crazy Apple Point/Counterpoint

Crazy Apple Rumors Site is proud to announce a new feature: Crazy Apple Point/CounterPoint! From time to time, we will bring you two sides of an issue, discussed by top luminaries in their field. Today, former U.S. President Bill Clinton and former U.S. Senator Bob Dole will debate whether or not tabbed browsing should be added to Safari. President Clinton will argue against tabbed browsing and Senator Dole will argue for it.

Clinton: My fellow Americans, Mac users, members of the media, and porn surfers who came to this site by accident because of all the references to sexbots.

When Crazy Apple Rumors Site asked me to take a stand on tabbed browsing in Safari, I knew immediately that this was an important issue that I needed to speak out on. Contrary to what you might think, I have given the issue considerable thought, and after careful and concerted deliberation, I have come to the conclusion that tabbed browsing is not a strong fit for Safari. I know that many of my esteemed colleagues feel that tabbed browsing is the cat’s meow, the bee’s knees, the, uh, goat’s… um… corrective… shoes… and, uh, “all that.” But let me tell you a story about a different view of tabbed browsing.

The other day I was talking with my good friend David Hyatt, who, as you may know, works on Safari for Apple. David hates tabbed browsing. As a matter of fact, David said to me, “As far as I’m concerned, Tab is a soft drink, not an interface container. Tab is a key on the keyboard, not something you put HTML in. Tab is “bat” spelled backwards, not a way of organizing multiple web pages in an application. Tab is two consonants separated by a vowel, not…” Well, he went on like that for a while.

The point is, if an expert in web browsers such as my good friend David can despise tabbed browsing with such a fervent passion, I believe it is the responsibility of every American, white or black, Democrat or Republican, to at least consider hating tabbed browsing as well. I believe that if you give hating tabbed browsing a chance, you’ll find that, deep in your own heart, you also hate tabbed browsing.

I thank you for your time and for this wonderful opportunity to be able to express my views on tabbed browsing.

Dole: Bob Dole likes tabbed browsing.

Thank you, gentlemen, for that insightful debate into the issue of tabbed browsing. We at Crazy Apple Rumors Site hope you found this segment interesting and educational. While these are complicated issues and there are no clear-cut answers, we’ve decided Senator Dole’s right.

Dole: Whoo-hoo! Bob Dole wins! In your face, you hillbilly cracker!

Clinton: Haw-haw! Dole, you ol’ nutjob!