16 Jan 08Exclusive Phil Schiller Interview!

Crazy Apple Rumors Site had the chance to sit down with Apple senior vice president of worldwide marketing Phil Schiller and discuss the announcements at this year’s Macworld Expo keynote. Here’s the transcript.


MOLTZ: Phil, thanks for taking the time to sit down with us. I’m sure you’re busy.

SCHILLER: Um, no, actually. Pretty quiet.

MOLTZ: Uh… oh. That’s… odd.

SCHILLER: Yeah. You’re right! That is odd!



MOLTZ: You should look into that.

SCHILLER: I should look into that!

MOLTZ: OK, but after the interview.

SCHILLER: OK. Fair enough. You did buy the Junior Mints.

MOLTZ: I actually bought those for myself, but… Well, it’s fine. So, Phil, let’s talk about the MacBook Air.

SCHILLER: John, this is a product we’re really excited about. We think this is a great laptop for people on the go.

MOLTZ: It sure looks like it, Phil. You know, looking at it, it looks a lot like the new iPod nano, how it’s super thin and has very tapered edges. It’s clear where the inspiration was.

SCHILLER: What? It doesn’t look anything like the nano.

MOLTZ: Well, uh, it does a little. I mean, c’mon.

SCHILLER: No. No, no, no. It’s totally different. That’s an iPod! This is a MacBook!

MOLTZ: Oh. Well… OK. Let’s talk about something else. Movie rentals.

SCHILLER: Yes! We’ve got all 11 studios and we’ll be launching with a 1,000 titles. Did you know we have every Charles Grodin movie?

MOLTZ: Uh, no. Is that, uh, good?

SCHILLER: Are you kidding? Charles Grodin?! The man is a comedic genius!

MOLTZ: Wasn’t he in those Beethoven movies?


MOLTZ: The ones with the St. Bernard. The kids movies.

SCHILLER: Maybe I’m thinking of Seth Rogen.

MOLTZ: Maybe you’re thinking of Beth Hogan.

SCHILLER: Who’s Beth Hogan?

MOLTZ: Someone I went to high school with.

SCHILLER: I don’t think that’s likely.

MOLTZ: She was hot.

SCHILLER: OK, that makes it slightly more likely but still really, really unlikely.

MOLTZ: So, OK, you’ve got “Knocked Up” then.

SCHILLER: Well, that’s a rather personal question! I think this interview is over!

MOLTZ: It certainly is.

SCHILLER: I have to go find my assistant anyway.

MOLTZ: Phil, always a pleasure.

SCHILLER: No, no. The pressure is mine.

MOLTZ: Uh, what?

SCHILLER: Pleasure. I meant “pleasure”.


No Responses to “Exclusive Phil Schiller Interview!”

  1. Dreil says:


  2. ScurrillousCurtain says:

    I could go for dos equis right about now.

  3. ScurrillousCurtain says:

    Specially after reading the interview.

  4. Ahnyer Keester says:

    Com’on its Phil Shiller! Without his assistant! Com’on!!

    Beth Hogan was a total hottie. But that was then. Seven years of working at the Pancake House have not been good to Beth. She never could quit smoking and hasn’t changed her hairstyle since then.

  5. the. says:

    brother.right about now.

  6. ScurrillousCurtain says:

    OK. I’ll give you the Grodin ref. but really have you seen a picture lately? Sheesh.

  7. won says:

    Top ten? Holy crap.

  8. won says:

    How tremendous is Fatboy Slim?

  9. Benny says:

    Nine? Wow! Di’n realize shut you folk lived like heat in da UPtown!

  10. Benny says:

    I wuz iPh0wn’d!

    shut => whut

    Dat’s bettah!

  11. Seano says:

    but these go to 11

  12. Rip Ragged says:

    Jeez. I figured Schiller would be more reluctant to give an interview. Especially since John was hogging all the Junior Mints.

    Do they sell popcorn and Raisinets at Macworld, too?

  13. CB says:

    Wow! Phil! Good catch!

  14. Ace Deuce says:

    Personally I like Charles Grodin movies, especially the early, funny ones. Ditto for Woody Allen. Ditto for Ingmar Bergman.

    By the way, if you missed Mr. Jobs’ keynote, here’s my summation:

    “It’s that simple.

    So, you get the idea…

    That’s the Nth thing we wanted to talk about today.

    Isn’t that great?

    It’s amazing.”

  15. This Is What My Comment says:

    Yeah, Jobs has got to get a new speech writer. Johnny?

  16. CB says:

    Unbelievable. un-friggin-believable.

  17. Carbonfish says:


  18. Coolhandluke says:

    I didnt like the beethoven movies.

  19. digitalcowboy says:

    I can’t believe you got an interview with Phil the Schill and didn’t even ask when we can expect his next world tour. It’s been years. The fans are hungry for a new round of stadium shows.

    I need some advance warning so I can get that year off work.

  20. Nxxx says:

    Apologies John. Slept late and then forgot all about you. Life was good.

  21. Brother Mugga says:

    Tsch. Very poor interviewing technique, Moltz. Where were the repeated attempts to draw the chubby Canadian into saying words like ‘abooot’ and sundry other comedic pronunciations?

    Unless this tragic decline in xenophobic mockery is reversed, I’m going to refuse to pay my subscription to this site.

    That’s right: every virtual penny.

  22. NWJR says:

    Beth Hogan was last seen eating squirrel with Mike Huckabee.

    Sad. Very sad.

  23. kingthedestroyer says:

    What?… Not one question on how the robots were vanquised!

  24. rumorless in seattle says:

    I’m not sure how long ago you went to high school with her, but Beth has not aged well. See for yourself:


  25. Nobody will ever use more than 64K of RAM says:

    Heh, looking over NeXT’s shoulder for ideas.

  26. Huh? says:

    Who’s on first?

  27. Shum says:

    “Moltz: So, OK, you’ve got “Knocked Up” then”

    That was a reference to me!! I feel so important!!