Steve Jobs stopped at Japan airport for having Ninja throwing stars – The Loop
Apple CEO Steve Jobs was reportedly stopped at Japan’s Kansai International Airport because a security scan detected weapons in his luggage.
The weapons were Ninja throwing stars that Jobs was bringing back to the U.S. According to SPA Magazine,
Frankly, Roosevelt’s illness and in the 1960’s helped cover up Kennedy’s philandering, he’s still Superman.
But shame on Jim for not mentioning he was going to do this on the elite Apple press email list we all belong to. We here at Crazy Apple Rumors Site (which, by the way, Wired, is trademarked in the state of Washington) have known of this incident since it happened back in July. But we did what good reporters do: we covered it up.
That’s our commitment to you: covering up the stuff you really shouldn’t know about.
first?
Foist
Damn. I’ll second that
years of waiting and quick fingers finally pay off.
Third to the fifth. Like a ninja.
6th! And this is the second post in about a week? What gives?
I always suspected Steve would blow his own cover on the ninja thing. Too much reliance on his RDF powers made him careless, I suppose.
Probably should work on his Jedi Mind Tricks. Just the thing for getting through airports.
The best part: “Jobs said it wouldn’t make sense for a person to try to hijack his own plane.” Airport security theatre at its finest!
There are no unwritten rules of Apple journalism. If there are, would you kindly point them out?
Steve Jobs is John Moltz.
Thanks for letting us know you’re not letting us know what we shouldn’t know.
10th!
I thought Jobs was a pirate, due to the Jolly Roger they flew back in the day.
This bring us to that great existential debate: what’s better, a pirate or a ninja?
Pirate>Ninja.
Although, according to my Pants, Pirates tend to smell worse than Ninjas.
I’m not sure what this has to do with anything, other than to mention my Pants.
Perhaps, Steve, as a pirate, just finished killing off some Ninjas, and had the stars as proof of doing them in.
Anonymous.
I’d be careful of using your second phrase too much.
It might raise expectations.
Or give unintentional insight into your ‘social life’.
Twelfth?
Whatever…
I am the Dread Pirate Roberts.
I have not seen Jobs at the Ninja meetings recently, so was not sure if he was still one of us. He was probably embarrassed about having run out of throwing stars, and was stocking up.
If journalists are dedicated to covering up stuff we shouldn’t know about, why do I still hear about stuff Paris Hilton does?
Slow news day.
So what you’re saying, MW, is that Jobs is Gruber?
It is my understanding that Apple’s sexbot R&D is conducted in Japan. Perhaps they are getting close to releasing a product. I wonder what’s been taking so long — I suppose the staff has been putting in long hours field testing the technology.
what is better a ninja pirate or a pirate ninja?
H. E. Yoyo : a ninja-ninja, of course.
Didn’t it come to your minds that if Steve let the information slip, it’s because it hides something far more important ?
You really think that was a leak ?
Let me laugh.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
And since when is journalists’ job to inform ?
Let me laugh again.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
@iMoo- as you wish.
Whoa,
Jobs is a pirate ninja!
I knew there was something funny about that airplane he flies in. Being invisible and all, that’s the kind of plane a ninja will fly in. With lesbian ninja sexbots in the cargo hold.
No, no, no! The invisible airplane belongs to Wonder Woman! Everyone knows that. Sheesh.
Hey, wait a minute…
Jobs is dating Wonder Woman! I bet the ninja stars were going to be used to test out her bracelets, if you know what I mean.
My first thought was that CARS had succeeded in punking the major news media. My second thought has that. Damn, Jobs would make a cool ninja.
ahem.
Hidden. Dressed in black,
Rivals unsuspecting till
Ninja star to heart.
(its been years since I submitted a haiku to the CARS forum. be gentle, I’m out of practice.)
best take on the news i’ve seen.
Actually, the press not reporting Kennedy’s extremely poor health, and the fact that he was on steroids and amphetamines most of the time, was more important than them not reporting his philandering. Although I’m not sure exactly how much they knew.
Look at pictures of Kennedy’s head in 1953, then look at it in 1963 — the steroids grew him a gigantic Barry-Bonds-esque noggin.
…Kennedy’s extremely poor health…
And yet he could philander with the best of ’em. That man had his PRIORITIES straight.
I’m going to hell for this comment.
@Foaming Solvent: If he wasn’t on the steroids, do you suppose Lee Harvey Oswald would’ve made the shot?
[somewhere in the skies…]
Jobs: [on the intercom in his private jet] “Dan, take me to Australia. I don’t think I want to go home just yet.”
Dan [the pilot]: [on the intercom] “I’m sorry sir, the wife gave me strict orders to have you back by supper.”
Jobs: “You take me to Australia Dan. Don’t f— around with me!”
Dan: “No can do sir!”
Jobs: [to himself] “You’ll regret those words Danny-boy…” [slyly pulls out two ninja stars from his pockets]
[knocks on the cabin door – in a bad impression of a female flight attendant’s voice] “Sir, Mr. Jobs needs more Perrier and I think I left the last bottle in the cabin – open up!”
Dan: “I don’t think there’s any in here but you’re welcome to check…” [opens the door]
Jobs: [deftly hops into the cabin and shouts] “You’ve crossed the wrong CEO Danny-boy! [he then tosses two ninja stars into the necks of the pilot and copilot, pauses looks up with a crazed face and says] “Namaste!” [then he tosses the pilot out of his seat hops in and shouts] Time to go to Australia!”
I just don’t understand why Jim Dalrymple has earned so much credibility AND respect.
He’s a wannabe journalist, and a bad blogger too.
I don’t see how you ever get to be first. Personal friend of
Moltz, I guess.
taiki
The CIA, working with the Mafia, Taffia (yes, Nxxx, I’m looking right at you), and the Riff-Raffia (I’ll take the hit) got Kennedy addicted to all that stuff to make Oswald’s job easier.
That and because it just looked really weird. And funny.
It’s all in my book ‘Loose and needs a Change: The Story of One Man’s Struggle to Expose the Truth About Nappy Soiling and Other Conspiracies Relating to Subjects That I Researched on the Net between Packets of Jaffa Cakes and Toe-Hair Grooming Sessions’.
See you in Hell.
Not if I see you first!
Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!! (or insert your favorite maniacal laughter here)
As we say around the North-Western chapter of the International Association of Security Cameras, Unincorporated (NoW/I ASC U),
“If you don’t want it known, then don’t aim us at it.”
’nuff said.
…
Oh, yeah… Hey, @Danny… how about you join me for lunch tomorrow and we can swap stories over a few martinis, eh?
Moltz, you swine. I was up for the Nobel mathematics prize with my “Moltz only posts when he has 113 comments” theory until you ruined it.
Watch it BroMu. I haven’t forgotten how to blow one leg off of an electricity pylon, so how do you fancy being called “Hoppy”?
Settle down, Nxxx. You play nice now, or I’ll have to take away your leaf blower.
I am already, Nxxx: remember the surgery.
Ugh.
And don’t forget what happened in the Stella war of ’07, when my Riff-Raffia took on your Taffia for the right to drink the final can at Lidl.
No one wants that again, surely?
Croydon now has two branches of Lidl.
Even the opening of the new John Lewis store cannot counterbalance that disaster.
“Oh, and one more thing… I’m a Ninja!”
Two? Jeez.
How many ‘pound-stretchers’ or ‘we cash cheques’?
And what happened to Croydon being the Best Place to Live Ever in the Whole of Britain award they got a while back?
And how’s that Mayor turning out…?
i like to visit the web