Jobs Takes Third Job.


Steve Jobs, reportedly concerned about providing for his family, has take a third job to increase his income.

Jobs, already the CEO of Apple and Pixar, says he used his Hollywood connections to get a job as the night manager at the Sunnyvale Hollywood Video.

“It’s perfect for me because I know a lot about movies,” Jobs said. “And this store is on El Camino Real, so it’s easy for me to get to.”

Jobs also indicated that “The bennies were good.”

“The night shift is probably the hardest shift,” Jobs explained, “but if I can manage the making of movies, I think I can manage the renting of movies.

“Every once in a while you’ll get a troublemaker in there, so I’ve been practicing. ‘Sir, I’ve asked you kindly to stop harassing the Gigli renters!‘ And ‘No, you cannot make your own porno on the premises!’ You know, that kind of thing. ‘Cause you never know.”

Sources at Apple were uncertain what financial straits had prompted Jobs to take a third job.

“I heard his daughter wanted a pony,” said Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller. “They seem like they wouldn’t be much trouble but they’ve got to have a stable and hay and… um… apples, maybe… I don’t know… carrots. I think they also eat carrots.”

Chief Financial Officer Fred Anderson said “Well, you know, he only makes a dollar a year working here.”

Anderson shook his head sadly. “When will the board recognize Steve’s contribution to this company? When?!”

Jobs is expected to start work next week, as soon as his references have been checked.