Welcome to CARS 2.0!

Yeah, finally! But, let me tell you, poor Masako’s exhausted and we’ve given her the rest of the week off. For some reason you refuses to cut and paste anything so she had to code each page one character at a time. She’s just weird that way.

Anyway, take a look around! Kick the tires! Take ‘er for a spin! Leave some comments! Have a complimentary breath mint!

If you linked over from MacSurfer, take a look at the main page. Well… go on. Do it. Masako didn’t code her fingers to the bone so you could just load the page and move on, you know.

And if you’ll be so kind as to check out the store, you’ll see we have all new logo merchandise!

Would it kill ya to buy something? I mean… would it?

No, really, I want to know, because someone idly mentioned one time that someone choked to death on some of the plastic wrapping. So, if it would kill you to buy some of our merchandise, we’d like to know. We’re very concerned about product safety. So much so that every item in our store is pre-tested on harmless woodland animals.

Some people claim it’s cruel for us to make little rabbits wear CARS-branded boxers, but the bunnies really seem to like them.

A word of warning, not all of the stories have been copied over to the new pages because, well, let’s face it, a lot of them were crap. I mean… blah, blah, blah… iMac… blah, blah, blah… boobies… blah, blah, blah… Schiller… blah, blah, blah… sexbots.

And then the occasional diatribe about the inherent nihilism of early 21st century culture and its pervasive impact on politics and the state of human interaction.

Anyway, if you can’t find one you’re looking for, you can get to the old master page here.

But, you know, working on CARS 2.0 with Masako and Chet and Howard and Ugluk and the Entity and all the hot, hot, young CARS interns with their young supple bodies and the crazy, crazy things they can do with them… well, it’s taught me something.

It’s not about the glitz of a new web template or the ability to leave comments or the new logo merchandise or the close, personal relationship with numerous Apple executives I’ve developed over the last two years or even the hot, steamy sex with CARS groupies.

It’s about the love. It’s about the love we have for Apple, the Macintosh platform and the Mac community.

It’s really beautiful.

Ha-ha! Nah, I’m just kidding! It’s totally about the hot, steamy groupie sex.

– John Moltz, Editor-in-Chief