16 Mar 04Response to Feedback on Site Redesign

I knew comments were a mistake.

Well, it appears not everyone was thrilled with the new design. It’s my fault, really. I should have expected this from a bunch of fancy-pants Mac users who are used to having their tea served promptly at 4 PM with their choice of crumpets or digestive biscuits.

Specifically, people said…

  • I want to be able to read the past five stories on the main page.
  • The look is too dark.
  • The logo looks amteurish and unbefitting a site of your stature.
  • These links don’t link as well as the old links. The old links were linkier.
  • Who coded this? Baboons? Because it seems like it was coded by baboons.
  • This Chateau Neuf du Pape is tepid. Where is the usual sommelier? I’ll have you fired for this.
  • It doesn’t work in IE for Windows.
  • It doesn’t work in Mozilla for Linux.
  • It doesn’t work in iCab for OS 8.5.
  • It doesn’t work in Newt’s Cape for the Newton.
  • It doesn’t work in eWorld’s browser, whatever the hell that was.
  • I want to be able to read it on my Internet-enabled watch. However, I do not own an Internet-enabled watch. Can you buy me an Internet-enabled watch?
  • No, really, was it baboons? Because I work for a large company that’s about to outsource its IT department to a firm that uses baboons and I just want to know what I have to look forward to. Are they nice to work with?
  • What “stature”?
  • The new design causes data corruption on my Fat Angus Drive.
  • I want to go dancing. You never take me dancing anymore.
  • I want Helvetica Lite for PDAs as the font on the side bar and Andale Mono Trim for PDAs as the font for the story.
  • I want Copperplate Gothic Bold for Widescreen Displays as the font on the side bar and Optima Extra Black for Widescreen Displays as the font for the story.
  • I want shots of Masako naked.
  • I want shots of Howard naked.
  • I want a pony.

…aaaaaaand so on.

First of all, Howard is naked on the staff page.

Second, the fact that you’ll lounge about on your fat asses and criticize Masako’s work and then ask for pictures of her naked is… well… it’s, uh, just… representative of our demographic, apparently.

But, we recognize that some of these comments have merit, so Chet, who’s proving quite handy at this in Masako’s absence, did an emergency colorectomy this morning and returned some of the tone of the old design. Apparently the gray was causing a resurgence of some folks’ deep-seated depression.

We don’t want any jumpers.

But, uh, let’s just not mention this to Masako when she gets back, OK? I don’t need to be jabbed in the liver with a fork. That’s my drinkin’ liver.

On the main page, all of the errors that were not the fault of the Amazon links have been fixed (we think… without Masako we’re kind of coding blind). We don’t take any responsibility for Amazon’s sloppy code.

Additionally, the last five (5) stories will be on the front page in their entirety, unless we run into bandwidth problems with stories that have Howard’s fabulous pictures in them – they may get moved off after a day or two.

Everyone liked the comments, though. Some of you a little too much.

So… uh… welcome to CARS 2.001!

It’s a $20 upgrade.

Now let us never speak of it again.

– John Moltz, Editor-in-Chief

No Responses to “Response to Feedback on Site Redesign”

  1. - says:

    Who is the genius who decided the new CARS should be baby-shit brown?

  2. Tim Knight says:

    THANK YOU!!!!

    I rest my case.

    *runs back to the toilet*

  3. Aaron, your cache is not updating – there’s a new baby shi… I mean, mustard-colored image for the “Apple Rumors Site” bit.

    But I think that would make a great logo as well as a delicious lunch.

    And for those of you who don’t like the color, you either get mustard or gray because all of my other crayons are worn to little nubs.

  4. Nick says:

    Finally! A comments section! I wonder if the Van Tols bullied you into a comments section… I don’t know if I would have done it if I were you, given what has happened recently on the PvT comments. It’s gone to hell in a handbasket over there. Hopefully that won’t happen to you.

    Anyway, stay dope-fresh sucka.

  5. Aaron says:

    Just hitting “reload” didn’t seem to do it, I had to open the image in a window by itself and *then* hit reload.

    Unfortunately, I can’t take another picture of the hot dog.

    At least not for a couple days. And at that point I’ll probably agree with Tim about the color.

  6. Nathan Strum says:

    It looks more like “banana” to me. Maybe my monitor needs adjusting.

    And I like the logo. Simple. Clean. Easy to read. Oddly hypnotic. For some reason… I think the Entity is looking at me…

  7. David Newberry says:

    I just wanted to post because I went through the trouble of reading all those other posts.


    Fine. I’ll make a… “comment.” Um, how about: I like the colors, but I’m not particularly fond of the logo. Oops, sorry, not to bitch though… I’ll come up with a submission later when I get home. (What better use of school resources than to read CARS?)

  8. Tim Knight says:

    You’re right. The entity’s … er… face (if it is a face).. does seem to follow you around the room.

    … I tell you, it’s NOT his face… but I dread to think what it could be!

  9. Ringo says:

    Everyone’s logo submissions look vaguely yonic, just thought I would share that….maybe just part of the demographic again.

    The new colors are OK, but the comments text would be easier to read if a lighter background was used, similar to main stories on front page.

  10. How’s that?

    Damn, this isn’t so hard! She always made this look so hard!

  11. Just got home from using crummy PC’s at work.

    Why is it that this site looks so much nicer on a Mac.

    Sorry, stupid question, don’t answer that!

  12. Shawn says:

    The site is fine. Don’t let ’em get you down, CARS staff.

    Still, I’m really surprised that no one has suggested a sexbot logo.

  13. b3uk says:

    Well I don’t want to get involved in this PvT style bitch-fest (although I see Moltz has posted about the CARS 2.0 review over there, haha! Go Moltz!), so I’m not going to.

    Very funny post today though, and yay comments!

  14. Rev. Jackson says:

    Finally, another part of Dr. King’s dream has come to fruition! A community has come together who all are truly color-blind!

    Because this sucker is not yellow, or mustard, but a startling split-pea-tinged-with-mucus green.

  15. Aaron says:

    So how come when I go to PerversionTracker and open a comments window, it changes the content of *this* contents window? Could it be that there is some devious connection between their software and this new software? Huh? Well? Huh?

    And their screenshot also has the non-updated-cache version of the logo, so I feel better now.

    I think this view of the comments with the white background and the line between the comments is much better (although note I didn’t complain about it before so please, please don’t ban me).

  16. Butkiss Medik says:

    Whoa! Am I tripping? A couple hours ago, I was reading the comments, and thinking they were hard to distinguish from one another, what with there only being a bunch of dashes between them and all.

    Then, I upgraded to 10.3.3, and now there is a SOLID black line, and I can actually tell the comments apart. That is WAY COOl!! Apple updates ROCK! Unless Chet just changed some of that code stuff. But nobody else mentioned this. In that case, Chet, you made a GOOD decision on your own! Props man! Keep up the good werk!

  17. MasonMcD says:

    Why don’t you whip these tiny-minded troglodytes into submission and put little shiny CSS presto-color-chango links somewhere so they can pick whatever shade of baby-shit brown they want.

  18. techietim says:

    Here’s my submission for the logo…

    okay, okay, I could do better, but I just knocked it up in 1 hr, I’m tire and wanna go to bed.

  19. eric says:

    You guys should have left the redesign the way it was. Don’t take shit from nobody. Grey was fine. Even if it isn’t the best, you guys liked it, so who cares. I find this “green” more disgusting than grey.

  20. won says:

    For you colour-challenged individuals out there, as sure as the sky is lime green, this site’s dominant shade is clearly Grey Poupon.


  21. david says:

    Honestly, hasn’t anyone ever heard of:

    Don’t critisize unless you can do better yourself…

    If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all…

    Spit it out unless you brought enough for everyone…

    Really, am I the only one who has a Mom?

    And no I don’t think it looks like it was designed by baboons at all, most of the baboons I know are going through their “deep” phase. “HTML is just sooo static”, “CSS? how boring”, “The Internet is just sooo over” Really, to hear them go on just gives me a headache.

    But to get serious here for a moment, I think you guys are in real trouble, spinning the colour wheel while Masako’s away? What were you thinking? What happens if it lands on “Kiss the girl to your left”? What will you do then? Huh?

  22. Michael Czepiel says:

    Wow, no offense, but this site looks like a puddle of urine now.

    I know it wont help with the off-crap color you’ve chosen buy this site might help a bit: http://www.pixy.cz/apps/barvy/index-en.html Using that might alleviate the off-crap on urine scheme, and allow you to mix ins some more appealing colors.

    Again no offense, I figure you guys have as much of a sense a humor as anybody out there.

  23. David Hoff says:

    Being from Seattle, I didn’t find the grey oppressive at all! I guess people just haven’t built up the required tolerance. The new color certainly is an ice breaker. I mean, what is that color, anyway?

  24. deepkid says:

    Maybe this new design subsconsciously reminds people of the Reagan years… man it rained a LOT in the 80s.. hm. 386 pcs… 30 min normal bias audio cassettes… rotary wall phones.. Depressing.

    The old site designed seemed just right.

  25. deepkid says:

    Oh, don’t ban me. I do love you guys lots. I think I have a big crush on Masako.

  26. the_holy_macintosh says:

    They grey was much better….

    And where are my anti-positrons? That Yttrium Drive isn’t going to build itself, you know…

  27. Föv says:

    please don’t let techietim do another logo..ever.

  28. Cheshire says:

    What colour is this… applesauce or baby poop…

    And the logo? The Entity? What about the rest of the team?

    And bring on the texture for the background… anything… maybe a subtle linen or something… ANYTHING.

  29. deppressio says:

    I think if you employed some keyaro-skewro shading to the gray background…

  30. MightyMac says:

    Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

    Wobble! Ruble! Bubble! Bramble!

    Grimmel! Grabble! Tribble! Farthing!

    YAHHHHHHHOOOOooo… wha?

    Excuse me?



    Oh… I see.

    No, I haven’t. But…

    No, see, I was just…

    Exactly! Thank you! I knew you’d understand.

    Hey, I gotta go. Aww,man! Who put the pudding in my coat pockets?!

  31. EMan says:

    This is the state of America? (No, not like Michigan.) We get all hung up on the superficial. “I don’t like the color…,” “The logo is all sucky…,” “wah-wah-wah.”

    Well, have some stinky French cheese with your whine (I recommend the Münster).

    It’s the content people! Do your realize that CARS has only mentioned hot, steamy groupie sex just once in two days?! And not even a video feed. The nerve of some people.

    Umm… I have to go buy something with mustard on it now…

  32. iKon says:

    I like the mustard yellow. HUGE improvement!

    BTW I vote for the sandwich logo 😛

  33. techietim says:

    What’s wrong with the logo I did?

    Okay then, what’s right with the logo I did?

    Ok it was knocked up whilst I was half asleep, and I didn’t spend any great quantity of time over it… exactly the same circumstances of the site redesign.

    I didn’t just say that.

    … oh hang on, that’s the front door…

    hello, yes?

    a forkagram?

  34. man says:

    83. Post.


    Y E A H !

  35. meck says:

    aaahhh…where do i line up for those “naked masako” pictures ? hey i wanna see em too! lets see em all…we..hmm kind of deserve it!!!! so come on..

  36. wwc says:

    Thanks for listening to the comments.

    I like the logo.

    But I do have an urge to purchase a hotdog at Coney Island. I thought the white background on the original was a nice style. But then, I think the homepage for Google is good also.

    On with Apple rumor mongering.

    Hmm, new idea here. You should grab that gray off the os x 10.3 boot screen and then SUE Apple for taking your color choice.

  37. longdongsilver says:

    I have a big weiner.

  38. sjakelien says:

    I hate it that everybody can give comments now. Why would you comment on nonsense?

    Also: why would you allow people to try to be as funny as CARS. Read the above and see how embarrassing it can get.

  39. JYF says:

    >The entity’s … er… face (if it is a face).. does

    >seem to follow you around the room.

    Just like Mona Lisa’s face.

    If the Entity actually is Mona Lisa, I want to see the Entity naked.

  40. kirabug says:

    Is Ugluk back with the hot dogs yet? It’s almost lunchtime and I’m hungry. Mine were the two with spicy mustard, tabasco sauce, and cheddar cheese, with onions on the side?

  41. Del says:

    I think a good logo would be an Apple in a straight jacket.

    I just wish I had the artistic skill to make one.

    Ok make one that doesn’t look like crap. Mine turned out terrible.

  42. Pathicus says:

    Mustard? MUSTARD?


    The color is clearly “Hollandaise”.

  43. Jan says:

    Aaron, about the picture with the dog:

    Your opinion is totally irrelevant. Serious users do NOT use their dock horizontal, and certainly do NOT put it in the right bottom corner.

  44. Jan says:

    I bet Masako doen’t have her dock horizontal, or in a corner.

  45. Aaron says:

    The dock on the bottom right gives me plenty of room on the bottom left to leave the narrow iTunes controls. And the “Transform” palette in Illustrator and/or Indesign. It works out great. And just because *you’re* too afraid of the Unix shell to enter “defaults write com.apple.dock pinning end” at a bash prompt doesn’t mean I can’t. Ha. So there.

  46. Aaron says:

    Anyway, if you’re gonna dis me based on that picture, you can do better than that. I mean, you can see a corner of the Outlook 2001 icon in the dock. (Admittedly, it’s just a small corner, but that’s what it is.) Now *that* is sad.

  47. skoots says:

    Hey, look, now you have a line on cheap Levitra Cialis Viagra, that must mean *something* for naked Masako shots? Come on, you know you want to! You’re not gonna just leave us hangin’ (or, not hangin’) are you?!?!

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