08 Jun 04CARS, The Summer Edition!


Aaaaaaand we’re back!

And with Apple’s recent announcement of Airport Express and things heating up for the Worldwide Developer’s Conference, not a moment too soon!

As with all sequels, the Son of Mega-Post does not appear to have enjoyed the popularity and critical acclaim of the Mega-Post. But we believe it did serve to revive interest in the original, much the way the second crappy set of Star Wars movies revived interest in the original, somewhat less crappy set of movies.

Our readers may rightly wonder where we’ve been.

And they may rightly mind their own bees’ wax.

You know, I always wondered about that phrase, “mind your own bees’ wax.” Turns out in the late 1700s there was a bee shortage and bee keepers, eager for wax to mind, were… uh… getting into each other’s… bees wax… to… mind it. Hence, “mind your own bees wax.”

But, if you must know, we were taking care of some technological advancement here at the Crazy Apple Rumors Site top secret headquarters. Yes, I’m proud to announce that CARS is now…

…all digital.

That’s right! The content you’re reading – the text, the graphics, everything – is now all digital!

I have no idea how we were delivering analog content over a digital medium, I frankly don’t even know what that means, but… there you are.

Also this past week,

  • Ugluk was in a road tour of Les Misérables. He received much critical acclaim but was left saddened because what he really wants to do is direct.
  • Chet spent the week on a journey of personal discovery followed by shock, denial and an attempt to un-discover everything he had discovered through the strenuous application of alcohol. So now he’s back where he started.
  • When Masako wasn’t working on the big digital conversion, she was spending a lot of time sulking. She’s getting really good at it and often solicits our feedback. “How was that? Was it believable?” etc.
  • The Entity says he “became one with the universe.” But, then, as always happens in these situations, the universe got all needy… “Where are you going? Are you going out with your friends again? Why don’t you ever take me anyplace nice anymore?” I mean, where are you going to take the universe? It’s everywhere. That’s why it can be so smothering. I hear they parted as friends, though. Which is good because they still own that place on Rehoboth Beach together.

As for me, I got caught up on my macrame owls. Aren’t they just adorable?

So, anyway, a good week here at CARS headquarters. We’re refreshed and ready to go.

And, if we ever get tired, we can just cut to Grandson of Mega-Post.

30 Responses to “CARS, The Summer Edition!”

  1. Kevin says:

    I adore macrame owls.

    Welcome back.

  2. mr. conspiracy says:

    I live 15 minutes from Rehoboth. Summer Capital of the US. No really. That’s what they bill it as.

  3. AM says:

    Three! Three! Three! Three! Three!

    How many is three?!

    Three is the magic number, yes it is. It’s the magic number

  4. greenacres says:

    Hey, how about fixing the link to Rehoboth Beach? The URL has an extra ” at the end…

    And welcome back!

  5. Huck says:

    I don’t know if I can handle normal posts. “Normal” should be in italics (but the man won’t let me) and read with an enthusiastic sneer.

    But yeah, it’s great to hear that our universe is gettin’ some action. You treat her well the entity! We’re all kind of in her at the moment, so you know.

  6. vans says:

    Rehoboth Beach, eh..?

    FIRST COAST

  7. vans says:

    A little bit of yes?

    A little bit of no?

    C’mon…

  8. MacStansbury says:

    Delaware? What’s wrong with Virginia Beach?

    If I was going to hook up with some celestial being, I’d get a place there. Or Hilton Head. Maybe Sea Island.

    Anything up that far North is too frikkin cold.

  9. Daddy Bartholomew says:

    I had to re-read the bit about Masako a couple times to make sure it wasn’t about… well… you know…

    The whole fixation with sexbots around this joint might be making her feel insecure, I thought, or maybe she was thinking that — well, never mind. It really wasn’t all that important, probably…

  10. Cai says:

    woooo!

    Long live the mega post…..*sighs*

    I luuuuurve those owls!!!!

    yum!

    Go Mr. Moltzy!

  11. Brother Mugga says:

    Oh yeah; Capn. Moltz and his scurvy band return and it’s all ‘Ooooh – American geography asides’.

    Don’t think we haven’t noticed over here.

    Just because we Brits tried a little cross-oceanic education by infecting TSofMP with observations regarding cricket, rugby, and the varied merits of 4-4-2 over the diamond.

    Tsch.

    Arseratchets.

    Of Doom.

    Brother Mugga

    PS: I know, I know; I’ve got to let go…

  12. Laemkral says:

    What part did Ugluk have? Was he Jean Valjean? Or did he play Inspector Javert? Was he one of the policemen from earlier in the play? Or was he one of the revolutionary students? I KNOW! HE WAS GAVROCHE! Or was he Eponine? YOU MUST TELL ME!!!

  13. MICHAEL EISNER says:

    boring

  14. Leibnitz, N. says:

    It seems that the nuns at that zoo in Borneo didn’t beat you often enough, Mr. Moltz:

    “This term which dates back to the 1930’s is commonly found in the phrase ‘none of your beeswax’. It actually has nothing to do with ‘wax’. It is just an intentional malapropism for business.”

    -www.idiomsite.com/beeswax.htm

  15. Anna says:

    Um, some people just don’t get it, do they?

    Anywho, love the owls. Have a few of my own, made lovingly by my Grandmother.

  16. Louzer says:

    I’ll tell you what’s wrong with Virginia Beach, MacStansbury. Its in Virginia. Good enough reason to avoid it at all costs.

    Now Ocean City, MD. There’s a resort for you all!

    Or Wier’s Beach in NH! (OK, so its a ‘beach’ only in the sense someone dragged a boatload of sand to a spot on a lake, but its still a beach!)

    And then there’s Beech-Nut gum. That’d do as well.

  17. Anonymous says:

    Oooh, will this new technological breakthrough allow us to resize the comments window?

  18. PoisedNoise says:

    What you talkin ’bout there? I can resize my comments window – Safari 1.2.2….. you sure you’re running a Mac there bro?

  19. b-man says:

    No, you’re not running a Mac. IE 6 for Windows, for some reason, doesn’t let you resize CARS comment windows. Here are some links you might want to check out:

    http://www.apple.com/switch

    http://www.mozilla.org

    hmmm… IE is for wussies.

  20. ZethoMarx says:

    Yeah, Huck, we’re all kind of in her.

    But, I’m thinkin’, not really the same way the The Entity is “kind of in her.” If yaknowwhatImean…

  21. fnkmstr says:

    I believe that the appropriate lineage would be “Return to Beyond the Valley of Mega-Post” a la Planet of the Apes?

  22. Huck says:

    Sheesh, why do we get the slutty universe?

  23. Brother Mugga says:

    Well, as Spinoza said, regarding the infinite number of possible universes…

    What do you mean “Spinoza’s a Buttsander”?

    Oh, that’s mature.

    No, go and wash it. Yes, of course now.

    Brother Mugga

  24. Anonymous says:

    Damn! Firefox won’t let me resize the comments window!

  25. Da Wiseish One says:

    The limits placed on Son of a Mega Post cut numbers drastically

    Void where prohibited by law. Use only as directed.

    Strike out the above and popularity will sore again.

  26. Aimon says:

    please John…. no more mega-posts, spawn’s of mega-posts, siblings of mega-posts, neighbours of mega-posts etc.. etc..

    Its just not the same without my daily fix of cars…… please don’t do it to us again!!!

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