Astonishing news from Apple today as sources say that CEO Steve Jobs has completely encased himself in a cocoon of silk and has entered into a pupal stage.
“At 9:45 AM this morning,” Apple spokesperson Cynthia McLaren said “Steve Jobs entered into a chrysalis of his own creation in order to hibernate and bring about a transformation into his next form. Steve is expected to emerge shortly before Macworld San Francisco.”
McLaren indicated that Jobs, after being a successful entrepreneur, the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and a force to be reckoned with in the entertainment industry he is ready to evolve yet again.
“Therefore, Steve ingested 147 silk shirts and regurgitated them in the form of a fine thread that he wove into a cocoon which he then entered.
“That’s something I didn’t think I’d be saying when I woke up this morning.”
While McLaren declined to provide specifics, speculation has been rampant about what Jobs is pupating into.
“If this was not already Jobs’ most complete form,” said Infoworld’s Tom Yager “one can only imagine what kind of super-being will emerge when his hibernation is complete.
“A being of pure energy and thought? A twelve-foot tall giant with a pulsating cranium and lidless eyes that are always watching? Or some kind of hideous winged insect that feeds upon the fear of its enemies?
“Oh, man, I’m so hoping it’s the winged insect thing. That would be boss.
“Nnnnnneeeeeeee!!! Aaaagh! Aaaagh! Fear me! Fear me! Heh-heh. I think it’d go something like that. So boss.”
Apple indicates that despite Jobs’ pupation, there will be no management changes at the company – Jobs continues to issue muffled orders from inside his cocoon.