12 Apr 06Jobs Announces Special Event In His Pants.

Apple CEO Steve Jobs announced today that a special event will take place in his pants on April 25th.

Since moving away from holding major announcements until Macworld trade shows, Apple has relied on special events to reveal products such as the iPod and the iTunes Music Store.

Rumors are running rampant about what Jobs might announce and how it relates to his pants or the contents thereof.

“I envision some sort of groinal sound system for your iPod, said the New York Times’ David Pogue. “Something with a lot of bass that really reverberates.

“You’d put it on just like a cup but it would have a soft cotton undergarment that you can remove and wash as needed. In order to avoid having to make multiple hardware sizes, the sound system itself would be worn with adjustable velcro straps and they’d just sell the undergarment in different sizes, in 5 or 10-packs. Possibly even in different colors like the iPod socks. This would also be a great opportunity for third parties to provide linings in different materials – silk, velour, rubber, leather… whatever.

Pogue admitted “I’ve been thinking about this a lot.”

Other analysts have speculated that Jobs’ event may be more of a personal nature.

“I think he’s going to make an executive adjustment,” said the Wall Street Journal’s Walt Mossberg.

“You know… shift some things around.

“He may not be comfortable with the way things are.

“He may want to get his sausage and peppers in order.”

After an uncomfortable silence, Mossberg said “You know I said ‘personnel’ not ‘personal’, right?”

Jobs himself has been mum on the subject of the special event in his pants, but has been seen playing excessive amounts of “pocket pool.”

No Responses to “Jobs Announces Special Event In His Pants.”

  1. Ace Deuce says:


  2. Ace Deuce says:


  3. John Moltz says:

    Hey, that’s your name!

  4. Ace Deuce says:

    That’s my name too! Whenever I go out, people always shout… oops, got that very wrong.

  5. chrisndeca says:

    top 10, just because I could

  6. Nxxx says:

    “pocket pool”? Is that any relation to pocket billiards? If so, this disgusting article must be withdrawn as it sleights the saintly Mr. Jobs. Really Moltz, have you no taste?
    Keep up the good work.

  7. Bandar the Invinsible says:

    Oddly enough, I think someone’s already tried to make one of these things for the iPod. The theory was to have it vibrate in time with the music. The question is, what kind of music “gets Steve going?”

  8. croikle says:


    Or maybe it’s actually a pocket pool, so your iPod can go for a swim while you’re carrying it around.

  9. stridey says:

    9th two nights running. 🙂

  10. Colonel Panic says:

    Kind of run out of topic ideas, haven’t you?

  11. tom says:

    oh damn. i never do this but



  12. tom says:

    well tuck me in the arse


  13. Streetrabbit says:

    Anyone standing within 1 metre of me knows that all the greatest inventions, innovations and discoveries are made wearing only underwear. If Jobs is going to strip down to his undies he can only be announcing something really big…or really small.

    I’m excited.

  14. Tom says:

    I suppose more than one person can be called Tom. But if everyone was. Wouldn’t it be confusing?

  15. Tom says:

    Won’t it be quite cramped with Macworld, Cnet, Slashdot, etc. reporters all in Jobs’ pants. Or does he have really big pants. Like PowerPants.

  16. Huh? says:

    pants. PANTS!!!!!!!


    I knew post after post referring to my pants would finally have an effect!
    My pants thank you John, and bow to the imminent revelation from Apples pants.(wow, that sounded really bad)

    Hell, roller ponies for everyone (John’s buying)!!!!


  17. brad says:

    That was the best summary ever. Period.

  18. Wha? says:

    Congratulations Huh? !

  19. UhhhDude says:

    My guess is that he’ll announce that he has a hole in his pants. And then maybe there’s wi-fi involved. And roller ponies.

    Or else, he’ll demonstrate the iPod Sock for the Nano. Which apparently, has two uses.


  20. Del says:

    Even though my Roller Ponies are beta I have to say they rock. I so would go out and by the official release when they are announced.

    I just found http://www.kittenauth.com/ka.php

    Now I am trying to come up with a reason to need that on one of my office web servers. Hell who needs a reason I’m just going to install it.

  21. Del says:

    Also as surprising as this may be I had nothing to do with the development of this program.

  22. NWJR says:

    I think this is the long-rumoured “iCup”, isn’t it?

  23. RM says:

    Should see some fun products.

  24. Ace Deuce says:

    This may be connected to Letterman’s World Wide Pants, which owns the Everybody Loves Raymond franchise. Perhaps it’s another video iPod tie-in.

  25. bigtom says:

    could this be the apple iPod with sexbots, withe the TRUE apple sexbot out in time for chritmas?

  26. Y'Sul says:

    Could it be some kind of torture device he’s designe for Guantanimo?

    And now that I think of it, isn’t that what people yell when they jump out of airplanes?

    Oh wait, that’s Geronimo. Uh, but isn’t that the famous Indian (Native American) leader?

    But has Apple outsourced anyting to India yet? I thought that was forthcoming.

    Speaking of that, do you know what the most progressive day of the year is? Huh?

    Well, of course, March fourth!

  27. MR. Slaphappy says:

    Wow! slapping in the happy pants!!! they better make those things washable especially with all that base. mine will be used frequently at least untill i’m married.

  28. dkjfeoi says:

    it’s very good!

  29. lisa80 says:

    oh,i like here

    and http://www.heyjokes.com

    have a nice day with you