Every Friday, the staff at Crazy Apple Rumors Site answers common help questions based on our vast experience with Apple products and our fervent belief that we know more than you do.
It’s tax time, and Crazy Apple Rumors Site is here to help!
Q: I’m trying to do my taxes and I’m having a little trouble with MacInTax.
A: I think you mean TurboTax.
Q: Uh, well, no. I mean, I am doing it on a Mac.
A: Yeah, but they changed the name a couple of years ago so the Windows version and the Mac version would have the same name. Which is TurboTax.
Q: I hear what you’re saying, Alan Greenspan, but I’m looking at the box and it clearly says MacInTax 1996.
A: You’re… trying to use a ten year old application to file your tax return? That’s not going to work.
Q: Uh, hello?! I said I was having trouble!
Q: I run my own Mac web site as a small business. Can I take a deduction for the depreciation on the several Macs I own and use solely for this business from the revenue generated from advertising and other sources?
A: Absolutely. I do this all the time and I haven’t been caught yet.
Q: Great! OK, now I have another question. How do I generate revenue from advertising and other sources? Because I’ve been at it for about three years and I’m tellin’ ya…
A: Hell if I know. If we didn’t have a well-heeled alien bankrolling us we would have been out on the street in January of 2002. Maybe you should go ask Princess Gruber.
Q: Oh, everyone knows how he makes his money.
A: How’s that?
Q: I shouldn’t say…
A: Oh, c’mon.
Q: Well… ob-may onnections-cay.
Q: You know, as much as I hate tax time, I gotta think that it’s just a nightmare for Steve Jobs. I mean, trying to figure out how much tax he owes on $1…
A: Well, you know, Steve does make an awful lot of money with the stock he gets.
Q: Oh, that’s so not true. Steve just does it because he couldn’t possibly do anything else. Also, they pay him in chickens.
A: Hmm. I don’t know where you heard that but I think it’s wrong. My understanding from very highly placed sources is what he gets out of the job is one thing and one thing only: pure chewing satisfaction.
Q: That’s fine but one can’t forget that he does also receive 14 vestal virgins at the end of each fiscal year.
A: Yeah, but he just tags and releases them. What I can’t believe is the jellies.
A: Yes! 10,000 elderly residents of upstate Wisconsin slave all year long to jar a vast assortment of jellies for Steve and what does he do with them?
Q: Stand on an overpass and toss them on the interstate to watch them go smashy-smashy?
Q: Hmm. I wonder what box you put that in on your 1040?
A: “Other Income”?