Just days after Apple’s announcement that it had sold 100 million iPods, Microsoft’s Zune celebrated a milestone of its own.
According to a press release issued by the company today, its 100th Zune was sold to 13-year-old Dieter Ebersbacher in Shreveport, Illinois, and is a sign of its success in the marketplace.
“The sale of the 100th Zune is a sign that it has captured a secure foothold in the market and it totally doesn’t suck,” said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer.
Asked to explain the discrepancy between this and its previously announced sales figures, Ballmer said “Well, when you take out the units we’ve just stuffed into the channel and then you take out the units that have gone to reviewers… and the units we’ve just outright given away… you’re left with… uh… a hundred. Now. Like, just now.
“I’ve totally been telling that guy… uh… whatsits… um… Foureyes McFloodpants… Gates! I’ve totally been telling him to lay off on how well the Zune’s been doing. Totally.”
Perhaps most unfortunately for Microsoft, Ebersbacher apparently bought the unit thinking it was an iPod.
“It is not iPod?” Ebersbacher asked. “Ach du lieber! I am being exchange student von Reichshof-Mittelagger! With receipt I can return, ja?”
While Ballmer did ultimately admit that the Zune’s current market position was not quite what the company had hoped, he then – after absolutely no prodding on the part of reporters – laid the plans for an upcoming flash-based model on the table, winking effusively. The plans had the words “IPOD NANO KILLER” emblazoned across the top.
Upon closer review, however, the plans seem to consist of a crude drawing of flash memory chip in a box with the words “Ninja powers!”, “Awesome!” and “Death to iPod!” written around it in crayon.