18 Apr 07iPhone Really Delayed.

In disappointing news, Crazy Apple Rumors Site has confirmed tonight that the iPhone will indeed be delayed from its highly anticipated June launch.

Sources now say that – contrary to our reporting last night – the real reason the iPhone is being delayed is that Elmo’s voice just doesn’t sound right yet.

According to a CARS source who is a Cingular/AT&T sales representative, Apple is determined to get the sound of the signature Sesame Street character perfect.

“Look, I really hate to be the one to bring this up, but has anyone looked closely at that first row of icons on the iPhone? I’m not gonna say it, but…

[cough] Elmo phone [cough].

“OK, I sort of coughed it, but c’mon!

As shocking as the idea the the iPhone is nothing more than a vehicle for a popular PBS children’s show might seem, Apple engineers were surprisingly open about confirming it.

“Yes, the Elmo voice problem is bug 2341,” said a source working on the iPhone. “What bothers me more, though, is bug 1756. ‘Upon pressing Count With The Count, the Count sometimes only says prime numbers.’ I think it’s a problem with an array, but we haven’t been able to repeat it consistently.

“I’m happy to say, however, that Super Grover works like a charm. I personally spent a lot of time on that. I think people are really gonna like it. Heh-heh. Grover!”

Upon hearing this news, sources that for months had been discussing iPhone features such as web browsing, SMS and the revolutionary interface have suddenly backtracked.

“Come to think of it,” said the Wall Street Journal’s Walt Mossberg, “all those random access voice mail messages were from Big Bird.”

Apple sources think they should have Elmo’s voice ironed out by October.

32 Responses to “iPhone Really Delayed.”

  1. Anonymous says:


  2. Yourmedic says:

    Count says Three. Ha ha ha.

  3. Huh? says:

    Whatever… Tickle THIS, Elmo…

    Sorry… A little extra bitterness tonight.

  4. Trevor says:


  5. His Steveness says:


  6. jacktheback says:


  7. Rip Ragged says:

    As long as they don’t delay Leopard, I don’t care.

  8. John Moltz says:

    Uh… dude… um…


  9. Mark Studdock says:

    arrays frakking with prime numbers… I doubt that. they should check their random algorithms again…

  10. Omar says:

    Lucky Number Seven

  11. Nxxx says:

    Fibonaci is Fab.

    Isn’t that soooo sixties.

    Good Morning John and Ace.

  12. OMGHAX says:

    Argh, arithmetic series!

  13. Carbonfish says:

    Heh, heh Grover indeed.


  14. vitamin fortified says:

    I just want to know what do the Bert and Ernie buttons do? And should I be concerned?

  15. Cavey says:

    15 – number of the gods…

    As long as this doesn’t mean there is another bloody annoying ringtone circulating

    fifteen rules!

  16. Ace Deuce says:

    Uppity muppets…grrr.

    Hey, I just woke up in time to go to bed!

    Good night, Nxxx. Good night John-Boy. Good night, Irene, good night. I’ll see you in my schemes.

  17. Sudo Nym says:

    Wait — you mean I’ve been straining my indomitable will since January, concentrating ’til I’m cross-eyed to make a candlestick iPhone manifest in this temporal plane, and the real problem is Elmo’s voice? Aaaauuuuuuggggggghhhhhhh!!!!

    Why, this is… this is…

    Awww… I can’t stay mad at Elmo.

  18. Eses says:

    He loves his crayons…his goldfish toooo…probably your shoelaces if you gave him a chance…who could stay mad at the little guy?

  19. scared monster, better known as Animal (The drummer), says:

    Chabap ba-doom dap ba-doom, chabap ba-doom dap ba-doom, chabap ba-doom dap ba-doom, chabap ba-doom dap ba-doom, Trishhh, bennng plisshhhhhh.

  20. Nxxx says:

    Any relation to Saint Elmo, famous for his fire?

  21. UhhhDude says:

    This comment was brought to you by the numbers 2 and 1, and the letter U.

  22. nonlinearG says:

    This is going to make Disney unhappy. Goofy, Mickey, The Donald, and Daffy may file suite claiming age discrimination.

    The Gigawatts problem was solved by using the recent output of the Tehachachpi wind farm.

  23. Yoda says:

    The Force is strong with Grover.

  24. Mark says:


  25. Mark says:

    Or anything psychotropic.

    But do it soon.

  26. Mark says:

    All of you.

  27. kingthedestroyer says:

    Ah come on, Mattel had the Elmo voice thing worked out years ago with that irritating ( and tickelish) little red turd ball. I thouhgt the Apple people had more on the ball than the Mattel bunch. Or could this be some kind of disinformation campaign by Apple to get a little free advertisement out of the Moltz type of rumor mongers.v

  28. Seven says:

    Yeah… number 28 is four times me, so it’s four times as lucky!

    Certainly luckier than 10.


  29. pauldwaite says:

    Soooooooo-pah Groverrrrrr!

  30. Pucker says:

    Tickle me! Tickle me!

    noooooooooooooo not pinchies again!!

    Two finger gestures are for tickles

  31. Rip Ragged says:

    Okay, so the way this breaks down is:

    Forget about most of the muppets. All we get is the Big Bird.


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