In disappointing news, Crazy Apple Rumors Site has confirmed tonight that the iPhone will indeed be delayed from its highly anticipated June launch.
Sources now say that – contrary to our reporting last night – the real reason the iPhone is being delayed is that Elmo’s voice just doesn’t sound right yet.
According to a CARS source who is a Cingular/AT&T sales representative, Apple is determined to get the sound of the signature Sesame Street character perfect.
“Look, I really hate to be the one to bring this up, but has anyone looked closely at that first row of icons on the iPhone? I’m not gonna say it, but…
“[cough] Elmo phone [cough].
“OK, I sort of coughed it, but c’mon!”
As shocking as the idea the the iPhone is nothing more than a vehicle for a popular PBS children’s show might seem, Apple engineers were surprisingly open about confirming it.
“Yes, the Elmo voice problem is bug 2341,” said a source working on the iPhone. “What bothers me more, though, is bug 1756. ‘Upon pressing Count With The Count, the Count sometimes only says prime numbers.’ I think it’s a problem with an array, but we haven’t been able to repeat it consistently.
“I’m happy to say, however, that Super Grover works like a charm. I personally spent a lot of time on that. I think people are really gonna like it. Heh-heh. Grover!”
Upon hearing this news, sources that for months had been discussing iPhone features such as web browsing, SMS and the revolutionary interface have suddenly backtracked.
“Come to think of it,” said the Wall Street Journal’s Walt Mossberg, “all those random access voice mail messages were from Big Bird.”
Apple sources think they should have Elmo’s voice ironed out by October.