Shocking news has been leaked from the Microsoft Business Unit today that reveals the reason the release of Office for the Mac was delayed last year. According to sources, some times last year, developers in the MBU discovered a child lost in the voluminous source code of Word for the Mac.
Sources were unable to say how he got in there or whose child he might be, but he apparently had been living in the code in a feral state for a number of years.
Lost in a morass of legacy code, the child was only first glimpsed when Microsoft began to remove Visual Basic support.
“He was apparently hiding behind some of that code,” said a MBU developer who declined to be identified.
The source placed blame on former MBU head Roz Ho and credited new head Craig Eisler with the boy’s eventual rescue.
“Roz ignored the obvious signs there was someone living in the code,” the source said. “There were signs of nesting, old bones and scat everywhere. Craig personally coaxed that kid out of there and saved him from a life that was nothing but a constant struggle to survive.
“Oh, my god, I just realized he probably had to live with Clippy! What a horrible existence. It’s inhuman. I can’t even bring myself to think of it.”
If this child was living in Word for the Mac, one shudders to think what could be living in Word for Windows.
Microsoft declined to comment officially for this story.
We told them it would probably be their last chance but they still declined to comment.