Evidence of Graft Rocks The Apple Community.

The Apple community was thrown upside down today as definitive proof was delivered that Macworld magazine managing editor Jason Snell is on the take.

“His three and a half mice review of the MacBook Air was the final bit of evidence, said Rogue Amoeba‘s Paul Kafasis. “He’s obviously on the take from Microsoft.

“Or Sony. It could be Sony. They had a Vaio ad in the last issue fer Chrissake! How obvious does it have to be, people! Wake up and smell the graft!”

“I personally won’t be satisfied until he corrects his false statements about the MacBook Air, apologizes publicly and is banned from attending Major League Baseball games for the rest of his life,” Kafasis concluded.

Oddly, others contended that Snell isn’t on the take from Apple’s competitors, but is actually on the take from Apple.

“I was going to give the iPod nano four mice,” said Macworld editor Dan Frakes, “and then Jason says, ‘Hey, why don’t we bump this up to four and a half mice?’! And he winks at me! I mean, what’s that all about?!”

When contacted, Snell was surprisingly up front about his greased palms.

“It’s a pretty sweet gig,” Snell admitted. “I get paid by Apple to favorably review their products and then I get paid by its competitors to trash Apple’s products. It’s a win-win! I can’t lose!

“Although, I’ll admit, it does get confusing sometimes. I have to keep careful track of who I’m getting bribed by on any given day in iCal. This week it’s obviously Sony. I mean… c’mon! 3 and a half mice for the Air?! But you know I’m gonna cut me off a slice of that sweet Sony action.”

Apple and Sony both declined to confirm that Snell was on the take, but when reporters peeked in the window of his home, they did see products from both vendors, which is pretty damning.

43 thoughts on “Evidence of Graft Rocks The Apple Community.”

  1. Shiny! Shiny?!?

    Oh…sorry. Distracted a bit there.

    John? Why don’t you just shill yourself out on the side, to keep CARS up and running?
    I mean, if Snell can do it… How much better are you than him? You should..

    What was I saying? Whatever….

  2. Mackworld is filled with a bunch of fuckers. They’re trying to get me to renew for $20 for a year, and they’ve already filled my physical mailbox and my email inbox with spam.

  3. Oh yeah, plus all their magazines are half ads. Half! Even their web site doesn’t have that proportion. Hell, even football games aren’t half ads.

  4. They surely make a profit off of every magazine they send. They can either give it to me for free or not at all.

  5. I could be on the take, but frankly, I don’t have room for anything except cash money. I already have several copies of Blazing Saddles, so I don’t really need any stuff.

    Dammit. My cheese is melting.

  6. Sweet! What a goodbye present!

    I even read the article first.

    Though I already forgot what it was about.

    *shrug* who needs CARS anyways. Not me. Certainly not enough to care that I GOT 11 SUCKERS…., errr, yeah. Hi John. *waves*

  7. I thought they supplied hookers for bribes.
    Shiny electronics? Not OK. Not at all.
    That’s IT for for sending a resume to Macworld.

  8. From Snell’s MacBook Air cons: “Slow processor; slow and small hard drive; limited configuration options; unswappable battery.”

    I’m sorry, “unswappable battery”? As a prospective MacBook Air user, I’m concerned: what do I do with duplicate batteries? Normally I would swap them with other collectors. Entire battery trading groups have been set up for this specific purpose. With 6 batteries in a single booster pack, it’s quite likely we’ll continue to find duplicates. I hate to throw away perfectly good batteries, but they’d just be redundant.

  9. Personally, I don’t believe in Macworld. I mean come on now, they cant truly be a MACWORLD, thats already taken by the real Mac.

    Ass holes.

    How dare they.

    How dare YOU…. JOHN….


  10. You’re in REAL trouble now John.
    Bribery in America? The Chinese will love that or is Apple bribing the Chinese to make some Macs? We’ll all be killed!
    Blows the whistle, scuttles away and leaves us to face the music. Nice one.

  11. You would expect the editor of Macworld to know that when the battery runs out you throw the thing in the bin and get a new one.

    Most people I know carry multiple laptops rather than spare batteries. Obviously that’s the reason for the extreme teeny weenyness.

  12. Hmm, big companies actually “pay” for a favourable review??? Wicked, where do I sign up?


  13. Careful what you say iMoo…
    Del might send her kittens after you, and I’m not sure even your little moolettes would be safe….

    Then again, they could be the perfect defense against them.

  14. Just imagine the competition to get post number eleven following this Friday’s CARS installment. Anyone got a pool started yet?

    My money is on Huh? or perhaps Magnanimous Wang.

  15. My mostest sincereest apologies (as in before the kittens get here). It was my understanding (as in being female) that sparkly is goooooood. (As in set in 18k!!) No need for hostility!

  16. Prove me wrong, iMoo, prove me wrong.

    It could be Del, or who knows, maybe even Saikou Yuden or CTHULHU who bags the last eleventh. Probably not CTHULHU, who’s no doubt off dreaming somewhere.

    Del, I’m guessing it’ll be Del.

  17. *sigh*

    Why do I get the feeling that 99% of CARS has arrived to see if we get into a cat fight that turns into kissing?

    Bad male mac users Bad!

    *sends kittens after gawkers*

    Sparkly is good, but man… Shiny…

    OoooOOoOoOooooOOOOOooooooOOOOooooooOOOOOOh! Shiny!!

  18. I can’t wait for tomorrow! It’s going to be the bestest help desk everest! And Nxxx will be sure to tell Moltzie so.

    And it will be the beginning of the end of days…the festering of entropy; the inexorable onset of the heat-death of the universe. Have a nice day!

  19. Hey! “Error establishing a database connection.”

    You’re fading already!

    (I’ll bet the Entity has something to do with this.)

    I wonder if there’s a Petapost┬« to come of this “hiatus” thingy…

  20. I suppose that complete compilation of the CARS saga will
    be offered at the PBS store in a boxed set.
    The DVDs would be very shiny. SHINEEEE!


  21. It’s my fault. It’s all my fault. I should have written more Zune porn.

    First Macazine died, then MacUser, then MacAddict changed their name to Mac Motherfucking Life. Now CARS is deserting me. I feel so used and cheap and dirty. Possibly because I sort of like that.

    I’m going to have to go use somebody’s|toothbrush.

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