Pending Tuesday’s Philnote, what’s Johnny been up to?
Please to enjoy my new site (yes, creating and letting web sites rot is a sickness I have), ApocaTips, where you can read “tips”, “hints” and “tricks” for surviving the upcoming economic collapse-o-rama.
Go on. Click it.
CLICK IT.
Holy crap First
I never thought i would get a first
And I thought I would never be second. I’m number 2!
Third! Or at least top ten.
Top 5?!
First page of comments!
Top 10
I guess if you’re fabulously wealthy, you can afford to register domain names and let ’em rot, but some people have to work for a living. Not me, perhaps, but some people, sure.
8? Wow. a personal best. off to receive tips now…
Don’t feel bad about it. Decomposing websites are all part of the great circle of life. It’s beautiful how the bits of data from your sites slowly are returned to the vastness of the internets, where they are absorbed and recycles into other, better sites. You, like the mighty dung beetle, are an essential part of this great chain. A decomposing , smelly one, but still essential.
John Moltz is John Gruber. Look out.
Welcome back, Kotter.
Johnny Boy,
Don’t you feel you are stretching our resources too far?
It’s taken me twenty-four hours to think this up.
BTW Have you heard of Croydon?
I’ll click it later, maybe. After I check out the new T!W!S! installment, for sure.
What do you mean there isn’t one?
Nxxx!
What are you trying to do, Nxxx your chances by putting Moltz on to Croydon? He’ll be all over that Mayoral vacancy like a pig in lipstick. Think about it: the hat, the robes, the chain . . . the chain. Moltz loves all that stuff.
In fact, one wonders whether he may have had a hand in creating the vacancy in the first place….
The Croydon Prattler announces its 16th Occasional Mayorality Contest. For all of you who were not here to participate during our last such event (or who previously didn’t give a proper damn), allow me to review the rules thereof:
1. The post of Mayor will be awarded to the person who, in the opinion of our Editorial Review Board, submits to this Paper, in written form comprising twenty-five words or less, the most clever and original reason(s) why she or he should become our next Mayor.
2. Ditties, slogans, mottos, jingles, or short poems will be accepted in lieu of normal prose.
3. Entries that employ, in any basic or derivative form, the words “change,” “hope,” “terror,” or “Marmite” will be immediately disqualified.
4. The winning contestant must agree to remain as a resident and Mayor of Croydon, no matter what, at least through the Winter.
Thank you for your participation, and good luck to all our courageous entrants!
Trevor Stopplepot, Acting Managing Editor
The Croydon Prattler
“All You Need to Know When You Have the Ill Fortune of Being Stuck in Croydon”
Those newshounds will probably find out that Nxxx is Welsh or plays the saxophone. Either way, that would be the end of it.
In the US, one can play the saxophone badly and still become President. I’m afraid the Brits might have higher standards.
I find it thrilling and I am very proud to be allowed to post here that at this very moment, John Moltz is sharpening his keyboard to enable the enlightenment of his followers regarding things MacWorld.
How can we prove worthy of this selfless service the Blessed John provides?
Not Moltz for President but Moltz, the Apple Messiah.
I prostrate myself at his Holy Feet, so it had better be good Moltz or you’re dead.
Nxxx . . . you know Moltz doesn’t get a vote on you becoming Mayor, yes? So quit the arse-licking and get on with that Prattler Prattle.
Here’s mine.
All. The. Marmite. You. Can. Lick. Off.
Now I just sit back and think about precisely which jaunty angle I want to wear that Tricorne.
Incidentally, I play drums . . . pretty badly. Will that do, or will I have to become Mayor of Eurovisiyania?
If Steve ate more pie, he’d probably put on some weight. Sure works for me.
Nice over there… But there’s no tunnels…
Oh, I’d also like you to know, after clicking ‘it’, I seemed to have developed this nasty rash.
Thanks John…
@19: What about a nice juicy hamburger?
(Always willing to piss off a vegan…)
An expectant silence falls over the audience as John Moltz makes his majestic and triumphal approach to the Holy keyboard, which will despatch his Epistle to his followers around the World.
Gratefully we will learn the real truth behind Steve’s non Sermon on the Moscone.
*Still need the votes for Mayor of Croydon. Now off to throw up*
Having just read John’s pre-review, I can’t wait to see the interpretative dance.
Steve G. Sure, but only if its freshly ground and cooked rare. Unlike SJ, I’m not one of the folks from Vega.
Getting back on topic, how about a real mince-meat pie?
Pies–is there anything they can’t make better?