On today’s Crazy Apple Point/Counterpoint: AAC.
Chris Breen recently opined that Apple needs to broaden the appeal of the AAC music format to avoid having it Betamaxed. To debate this interesting issue, we have the dramatic return of the angry Scotsman who will take the “pro” side. Taking the “con” side, we proudly introduce the highly effeminate half-orc!
What do these experts think? We’ll start with the angry Scotsman.
ANGRY SCOTSMAN: Gah! Ah canna unnerstand the logic in usin’ a format that no’en else uses! Are ye daft, Steve Jubs?! Don’ make me grab on t’the leg o’ yer fancy-pants jet ‘n crawl inta tha cabbin in mid-air and thrash ye within’ an inch o’ yer life! Fer the luv o’ god, man, ye got ta brooooaden tha appeal o’ the format! If it’s nur availuble on tha cheapah playahs, it’s doooomed! Doooooomed!
MODERATOR: Thank you, Angry Scotsman. Highly effeminent half-orc?
HIGHLY EFFEMINATE HALF-ORC: Oh, Scotsman, sweety, there’s a difference between making haggis and stuffing haggis, and you’re definitely stuffing it, if you know what I mean!
ANGRY SCOTSMAN: Ah doon’t.
HIGHLY EFFEMINATE HALF-ORC: Oh, look, pumpkin… the iPod is the best selling MP3 player there is! If AAC plays on the market-leading MP3 player and is the format that comes from the most popular online music store, it’s no problemo!
ANGRY SCOTSMAN: Ye have ta be kidden me! They’re joost repeatin’ the mistake they made witthah Mac! They’ve gut tah use more ooopen standahds!
HIGHLY EFFEMINATE HALF-ORC: Look, sister, it uses MP3s and here’s a wakeup call for you – AAC might just become the standard? Mmm? Hel-looooo? This ringing any bells with skirt-wearing gentlemen? Besides, what are they supposed to use? WMA? Puh-leeze!
ANGRY SCOTSMAN: Yearrrrrgh, yer tha crappiest orc ah’ve evva seen, ya fancy ponce!
HIGHLY EFFEMINATE HALF-ORC: Oooh, sounds like somebody woke up on the wrong side of Hadrian’s wall this morning! And it’s half-orc, if you please. I don’t send my dear mother flowers every year so you can just dismiss her genes, thank you very much!
ANGRY SCOTSMAN: Ah… ah… ah dun’t even knuw whatcher talkin’ aboot!
MODERATOR: Uh… well, I’m gonna call it there. And, you know, as weird as this has been, I think it’s actually the best discussion of the issues we’ve had on this feature.
That about figures.