Apple on WWDC: The First Three Rows Will Get Wet!

Today Apple announced to those planning on attending the Worldwide Developer’s Conference in June that “The first three rows will get wet!”

Fearful attendees were only left to imagine what Apple’s cryptic message could mean.

“They’re not talking about Gallagher are they?” asked NetNewsWire developer Brent Simmons. “Oh, dear god, I hope not. I don’t think I could take that kind of agony.”

Disturbingly, prop comic Gallagher does have a history with the technology industry, having appeared at 1993’s COMDEX

“I was planning on covering it,” said the San Jose Mercury News’ Dan Gillmor. “Now I’m not so sure.”

As panic began to spread throughout the Macintosh community, Shawn King, host of Your Mac Life, urged “Everyone needs to calm down.

“The press release doesn’t say anything about Gallagher. It could be Shamu or trained seals or some crap like that for all we know.

“This is just typical of the Mac community assuming it’s the worst possible outcome,” King opined.

Long-time Apple follower Andy Ihnatko agreed with King. “There are several other perfectly rational explanations that are just lame, as opposed to critically lame. There’s no need to go nuclear.”

Apple’s press release does not indicate whether attendees should bring their own ponchos or if, perhaps, special Apple logo ponchos would be handed out at the door.

In what can only be seen as an encouraging sign, many have speculated that Gallagher himself may not want to appear at the WWDC, as it might divert attention from his 2004 Presidential bid.