Oversold Switcher Switches Back.

After using the Mac for five months, switcher Dan Murkowski has decided to switch back despite continued entreaties by his Mac-using friends. Complicating the situation are Murkowski’s claims that he was oversold on the powers of the Macintosh.

“There was trouble from the get-go, Murkowski said. “I knew some of what [Mac users] Mark [Dresden] and Dale [Parker] said was probably exaggerated, but I wasn’t even getting some of the more basic benefits out of the Mac that they claimed.”

Asked what Dresden and Parker had promised Murkowski the Mac would provide, the 32-year-old sports news editor said “Well, chicks were probably the biggest thing I was looking forward to. Mark swore that I’d be fighting them off with a stick once I got a Mac. That hasn’t happened.

“And I should have known, because it’s not like Mark’s got girls dripping off of him.”

Murkowski did say that a girl in a coffee shop had asked him how he liked his iBook, but that she then added that her boyfriend really liked his.

“The other things should have tipped me off that they were just saying anything to get me to switch. Smoother, silkier hair? A stronger, more powerful erection? Alchemic powers over base metals? C’mon.

“Still… you know… if they were telling the truth…”

“We may have overdone it,” admitted Dresden. “But we just thought, once we get him to switch he’ll see the Mac is way cooler than the PC.

“I don’t know what went wrong.”

“I think it was telling him getting a Mac would erase the pain of childhood traumas,” suggested Parker. “That was probably over the line.”

“And maybe saying it would grant him complete control over those who had wronged him in the past,” added Dresden.

“Yeah,” Parker agreed, nodding sadly.

Overall Murkowski’s experience with his iBook was positive, but having been oversold on it has left him bitter with the platform.

“I like the interface and it’s been more stable than Windows, but… every time I use it I expect to have some sort of Matrix-like experience of oneness with technology.

“‘Where’s the Matrix-like experience of oneness with technology?’ I keep asking myself.”

Shaking his head, Murkowski concluded, “Nah, I’m done. I’m just gonna go back to my PC. At least with the PC my expectations are low enough to be met.”

“I stand by my Matrix-like experience of oneness with technology claim,” Parker said.

“That one’s totally… partly… true.”