But we’ll leave this thread open for you to talk amongst yourselves. Please take this as an opportunity to bond with your fellow Mac users.
Jeez, this place is going to be on fire when we come back, isn’t it.
1,060 thoughts on “We’re off next week”
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Have any of you ever USED this crank-powered iBook? I mean, I thought it odd that apple chose to make it powered by crank, the drug that’s a mixture of crack and cocaine, as opposed to the handle-turning kind.
In other news, let’s all keep posting our bad CARS story submission ideas. I sent one a while ago about apple making eBook purely out of obligation to their product grid. It too came with a CRT display was expected to get 5 seconds of battery life.
on second thought, it wasn’t that bad…..
not like how I’m bad at night when no one is looking…..
Crazy Adaman Help Desk
Q: My iPod keeps making wierd noises.
A: What do you mean?
Q: It keeps making freaky sounds.
A: The iPod itself?
Q: I assume so. It always comes in through the headphones though.
A: Uh….
Q: I mean, they call THIS music? This is the freakiest crap I’ve ever heard!
A: I’m a bit confused here….
Q: Seriously, Apple needs a better taste in music.
A: Okay, dude, the iPod just plays whatever music you put on it, no matter what it is.
Q: Oh….uh……thats what I thought…..just making sure……
A: You know, this was probably the worst Crazy Help Desk thingie ever.
If I push the forget personal information button will the memory of the sea captain’s last post be wiped away?
I’m wondering if we can get these posts to 200 before the CARS peeps get back from wherever they’ve been!!
We can try.
yes yes!!!
We need no one sayign we cant…..yes yes!
woooooo!
only a little way to go I guess…I mean what ARE we to do if the Moltz and peeps are away?
*shrugs*
Pstshhhh….I mean….we should be shooting, really, for 1000 posts to bring the whole thing to it’s knees!
🙂
Then again….
And while I’m randomly writing stuff…
instead of soup or salad, can I have garlic bread or something?
I hate soup and salad!
ick!
Hi, I was just looking for the comments section and OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE
DEAR LORD
OH MY GOOD GRACIOUS GOODNESS
…is that chez whizz?
Ring…………..Ring…………
I always do that.
Hey John, when you get back to running your website can you provide us with an executive summary of all this crap, too many posts for me to read.
Good job on the big 100, but now somebody has to get down to Storage B and take care of that cockroach problem.
Red Swingline staplers will be awarded to volunteers.
Subtitle: 200 isn’t that far off.
Whats going on here is, well, I guess we’re all just amusing ourselves while Moltz is off shaving his toes and stuff!
*shrugs*
Anyway – we’re heading towards the 200 mark….oh yeah baaaayyyybeeeeey!
hmm…200 isnt THAT far off…..you’re right….
we need a challenge, a challenge worthy of the CARS readership….something that the CARS staff can be proud of. Dedication….thats what you need (as Roy Castle once said, I think!)
sooooo…..lets shoot for 500!
Rah! Rah! Rah!
🙂
John M. is a genius.
He takes off a week and we provide content for his website. A modern day Tom Sawyer!!! People are even egging others on to reach 100, then 200 posts. One dreamer suggests 1000 posts!!!!
PEOPLE!
Do you realize the implications of this? What if John realizes how successful the site is WITHOUT input from John and his staff. What if he begins to wonder if he can increase profits by letting Chet or Ugluk go? Or, horror of horrors, Masako?
Hell, what if he finds the number of hits on the web site has gone up in his absence!!!!!!
John, we are but amateurs at your feet. Please come back!!!! Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…Please…
Hey dude,
I wasnt dreaming of 1000 hits, just randomly suggesting it in a semi-half arsed manner….I’m suggesting 500 posts though….
at the end of the day, though….if this site becomes MORE successfull than Moltz, then, well…..
ALL YOUR CARS BASE ARE BELONG TO US, BABY!
🙂
Sorry, Cai.
Didn’t mean to put words in your mouth.
Readers, please (in your minds ) revise my comments to read, One suggester dreams 500 posts!!!!
Thank you.
Damn right Bellidancer….I felt the cheezwhiz power building…
mwooooo-ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa!
*does the dance*
As an aside theres only 377 posts to go until 500!
(Including this one)……
LET GO PEOPLE! Surely the CARS community will rally up in a supreme effort that tips the balance of power towards…uhm….ahh…..I…..dont….know……dammit!
screw it….1000 anyone?
🙂
doing my part of the work… off to 200-land
We can’t make 200. Quit your dreaming, folks. We’ll be lucky to get to 130. or 150. Ok, maybe 175. But no more than that. Well, 195, then. But *not* 200. Never.
We’ve already made 125. Keep it up, folks!
Exams are over! I am free!! Free I say, FREE!!!!!
A Wired story about people modding their PC desktops to look like OS X: http://www.wired.com/news/mac/0,2125,63256,00.html
this whole thing has a cross-dressing undertone to it if you ask me.
Friday Feature: Crazy Apple Help Desk.
If no one else is going to do it, I’ll have to.
Q: Uh… um..
A: It’s harder than it looks, isn’t it?
Q: Uh. Yeah. Um.
A: Come up with something, already!
Q: Uh. Sexbots!
A: Ah. That’s better.
————
Q: Hi! Is Frank there?
A: Um. No, there’s no Frank here. I think you have the wrong number.
Q: No, I’ve got the right number! I’ve just got the wrong name!
A: Excuse me?
Q: How would you like to earn $$$ is your spare time? It’s easy!
A: What?
Q: Earn $$$ in your spare time! Everybody needs $$$!
A: Can you call back on Monday? I’m pretty sure a gentleman named Ugluk would LOVE to earn extra $$$ in his spare time.
————
Q: So. When’s John coming back? You suck at this.
A: Do you have a technical question or not?
Q: Oh. Ok. If I upgrade my iBook from 128MB of RAM to 512MB of RAM, will that make the CARS team come back faster?
A: Sigh. [Click]
————
Thank god, I had almost decided to make another pitiful attempt.
Okay.
I know this was a few posts ago…
But it irked me.
[whatever THAT means]
So here’s the correction:
_Irregardless_ is a word that many mistakenly believe to be correct usage in formal style, when in fact it is used chiefly in nonstandard speech or casual writing. Coined in the United States in the early 20th century, it has met with a blizzard of condemnation for being an improper yoking of irrespective and regardless and for the logical absurdity of combining the negative ir- prefix and -less suffix in a single term. Although one might reasonably argue that it is no different from words with redundant affixes like debone and unravel, it has been considered a blunder for decades and will probably continue to be so.
Crazy Heretic Help Desk
Q: Uhm, hello….I think I might be a heretic.
A: Don’t worry, there isn’t anything WRONG with being a heretic, just tell us where you live and we’ll send someone round shortly to take care of you.
Q: Wait, take care of me?
A: I’m sorry, did I phrase it like that, I meant cure you.
Q: Oh, okay. Well I live at 1923 Farnsberr….
A: Hold on. That’s not where you live.
Q: Wha-how….how did you know that??
A: We are the Inquisition, we know everything.
Q: Then why did you ask where I live?
A: To find out if you are telling the truth, and it looks like we have to kill you AND your neighbor.
Q: Oh, alright. As long as you do him first.
Q: I think I know someone who might be a heretic.
A: Really?
Q: Yes. His name is Laemkral.
A: Laemkral? As in the Inquisitor?
Q: Yes.
A: Uh huh. And what makes you think he is the heretic?
Q: Well, look at him, he’s always ranting and raving about them, burning them whereever he can. To quote someone famous, “me thinks he dost protest too much.”
A: So because he’s fanatical and devoted to his work, he’s a heretic?
Q: Just saying…
A: Right, well you are hired.
Q: Wha?
A: You are hired. We like that kind of thinking in a person, please come to our offices, head to room 124, and sit in the blue chair.
Q: Why the blue chair?
A: Because we like the red one.
Q: What if there is a third chair, maybe a green one?
A: Just sit in the damn blue chair!
Q: Yes, when are sexbots coming out?
A: I’m sorry?
Q: Sexbots. You guys talk about them all the time!
A: Sorry, you have the wrong number?
Q: Oh, well can you help me with my iBook? It’s been acting funky since I put in a new program.
A: Did you repair permissions?
Q: Yeah.
A: What program was it?
Q: Microsoft Office, why?
A: I see, well you’ve been hired!
Q: I wasn’t looking for a job…
A: Just report to room 329 and sit in the yellow chair on the left.
Q: I don’t know who you people are…
A: Then we’ll find you.
That concludes OUR help desk for the day, so remember that we know where you live!
If Straong Bad had a nickel for every email he’s answered… he’d have $5.15.
http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail103.html
Ooooh shapeshifter,
You just dissed the Inquisitor!! Not a good idea, especially not now while the inmates are in charge of the aslyum.
Ahh… did I just diss the readers of CARS and/or the CARS staff?
And will shapeshifter diss me for my use of slang and poor sentence structure?
aaahh Please ignore this message.
hold me closer bellidancer…..
Nobody expects a Spanish Inqui… oh, wait, there hasn’t been a Spanish Inquisition yet, has there.
WELL, THEN. Don’t pay any attention to that last remark! There will NOT be a Spanish Inquisition, as far as I know. Just another lame attempt at a CARS Friday Help Desk Feature.
Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that your attempts at CARS FHDFs were lame. In fact, they were pretty good. There, there, now. Here’s a Kleenex-brand facial tissue. That’s better. Now, where was I?
Yeah, that’s right. No inquisition. No Inquisition, either.
Bill
(Thanks for the Inquisition idea, Dave.)
(No, you guys don’t know Dave yet.)
(And, no, I don’t know if he has any sexbots, so stop asking!)
(And, no, there will BE NO INQUISITION!)
(Well, maybe a little one.)
That’s correct. There is no Inquisition. Disregard everything I’ve said about our organization. Which doesn’t exist. And isn’t Spanish. Actually, we are quite multi-ethnic as we don’t prejudice against race, religion, creed, or anything else. Just those who don’t agree with us. So I guess we are prejudiced agaisnt creed. And sometimes religion. But not sex. Nope, not that. Nor sexual orientation. Not that has seemed to matter, but I’m just saying. Also, age we never care about. I know we have a 5 year old torturing people in Sector H. Good guy, always good for a joke at the watercooler, though mostly it’s poop or fart stuff.
That is….if we existed. Which we don’t. And we aren’t from the future, which is how we know the Entity so well. But we don’t cause we aren’t form the future.
And I didn’t steal this entire idea from Warhammer 40,000.
HEY! Look over there! It’s a huge distraction!
::flees::
What? Look where? All I see are clouds shaped like puppy dogs. Am I missing something?
Why yes, I would like a comfy chair and a cushy pillow. How nice of you for offering.
Tired of that same old computer, stuffed with software. Do you not want the latest and greatest collection of bits and bytes? Sick of all the ones? Do you want just zeros? Then try this fun command:
dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/typedisknamehere
WARNING THIS COMMAND HAS A TENDENCY TO ERASE HARD DRIVES
echo Lets make 1000000
or 200, whatever.
As a fully paid up inmate of the Asylum I wish to rattle my cup for my medication!
I mean come on…..
*rattles bars*
*does the dance*
Mommy, whats a gravedigger?
*sniffs*
mommy?
Heeeeeey!
I got the 140th post!
Woooohooooooooooo!
*does another dance*
359 to go guys……
🙂
142! Huzzah!
At last…someone else has posted…..
I’ve been waiting for you…*rubs hands*
well…not YOU specifically….but ya know….someone!
it gets lonely here….
very lonely…
*cries*
I see you can tell who has the real social lives here, non?
Bleah…saturday and it’s 6pm here and just finished an office move? Anyone else working over the weekend?
Or is it just me?
Does that mean I’m still all alone here?
Booooo!
Hey, I’m number 145! And this is a special one, I’m posting from….THE APPLE STORE! An Apple Store just opened today at Montgomery Mall in Bethesda, Maryland, and I’m posting this from a PowerBook G4 at the store. I’ve also got some PC using friends over here oogling at the Macs. Just goes to show that if you show most of them what the Mac REALLY can do, the evil spell cast on them by Microsoft will wear off.
Wow!
Thats cool!
I was in an Apple Store a few weeks ago (Santa Monica) – nice places…..we dont have one just yet!
Although they’re opening one in London pretty soon! (spot the brit)
Maybe they can be pushed to buy an iPod first and work their way towards a nice Powerbook 12″….
I love my 12″
*hugs his 12″*
I see there’s crazy talk over at spymac where someone has suggested Monkeyspank is trying to hurt Apple by giving people an easy route to install OS X on another hardware platform.
Crazy Talk I say, CRAZY!
And the Halo Editing Kit is finally out for the PC – Looks like Mac users aare getting the shaft again….no Editing Kit for us!
Not unless anyone has heard anything?
have they?
oh crap….
the “other hardware platform” being XBox2
or XBox-Poo, if you please!
Actually the first XBox was quite good….it runs Linux quite well and is possibly the cheapest server I’ve bought!!
*nods*
And thats another silly thing to do….comming to CARS site and seeing the number of comments has jumped from what you remember, only to find it’s your last two postings; bleah!
I think I’ll reset the day or something……
moop!
Oooohhhhhh – go on then….
I’ll take the 150 post!!!
It would be rude NOT to, would’nt it?
(yes, it would!)
Or posting 5 times in a row would be rude. Even so, with your cheatific ways, we won’t make 200.
*gasps*
I’m not cheating….I’m just…..lonely….
Shackled to work, outside work just a few meters away…..
and noo bugger on CARS to talk to……
cheating……pshhhtt!
Just doing my bit – unfortunately I have no sense of humour and must prey on the innocent light-heartedness of others
Nee Hee Hee
etc
*screams like a girl*
Ahhhh….evil……eville…..evvvviiiiiiilllllleeeeeee….
*coughs*
well, at least you’re doing your bit, everyone else is sucking donkey fleas quite hard at the moment (even though I love you all).
YOU ALL SUCK!
SUCK, SUCKITY SUCK SUCK!
ahem!
I’m back from the Apple Store. Or so it would SEEM…….