We’re off next week

But we’ll leave this thread open for you to talk amongst yourselves. Please take this as an opportunity to bond with your fellow Mac users.
Jeez, this place is going to be on fire when we come back, isn’t it.

1,060 thoughts on “We’re off next week”

  1. Welcome back…..
    did you temps your friends from the DarkSide???
    Did they go Apple or just buy snapple?
    Do tell….it has to be more exciting than my day of moving office furniture and repatching patch panels!

  3. Uhm….getting where???
    *scratches head*
    And WHO are YOU?
    *voice from nowhere*
    BATMAN!
    Aiieeeeee!
    heh!

  4. Well, two of them now want Macs. Another doesn’t care too much, and another uses Windows but says that both Mac OSX and Windows are good for different things. So I guess I’m doing my part for Apple.

  7. I second that assumption. And if we need to, we can strech teh definition of “Sunday”… to, say, Sunday in Japan or soemthing.
    Yes, I am advocating posting at 3 AM just to reach 200 posts on some humor website which plays to a very small, specific group of people, an accomplishment few will recognise or for that matter even remember in six months.
    Well, ok, it sounds stupid when I put it that way. But, then again, maybe someone from Japan is here.

  8. well its 12PM in Australia at the moment…. on Sunday.
    And we are getting ever closer to 200 posts. 😀

  10. I can’t help but feel that there will be IMMENSE competition for who gets the 200th post.

  11. I’m not posting three times in a row. Look, I’m not Adaman. I’m Adaman2:The Vengance.

  15. shuddup already!
    😛
    And anyway we only have a short time left before the real posters return, and then this saga of inquisitions, bananas, iFlames and Chez Whiz will be forgotten.
    ~ozi

  18. After reading 173 posts, a disturbing trend has emerged. Namely, each of the posts is followed by a tag line that says, for example, “Posted by Flatulent at May 8, 2004 11:58 PM”.
    “At”?? Vas ist dos “at”??? What kind of crazy preposition abuse is that “at”? Shouldn’t it be “on”?
    So quick, everyone, PILE ON MAY!!!

  19. Will everyone PLEASE get off of me?! Some of you really… er… should do something about that SMELL!

  22. 1 2 3 o’clock 4 o’clock rock
    5 6 7 o’clock 8 o’clock rock
    9 10 11 o’clock 12 o’clock rock
    We gonna rock
    Around
    The clock all night!

  23. Apple Computer today announced their latest application “Sniffle”, a word association program that has helped the company name their products since the introduction of the iMac in 1998.
    Senior Vice President of Marketing Phil Schiller explained “It’s not actually very good at doing word associations, we kinda stuffed up the software engine a little bit. When we put in the word “mac” as a test run, all it came out with was the letter “i” umm.. yeah, we thought that was pretty cool so we ran with it.”
    When asked about what other products were named by using the program Schiller replied “Well, actually all it did for a while there was come out with the letter “i”, it really wasn’t very good software.”
    “But version 0.2 fixed all that” he explained with a knowing grin “it then came out with “e”, which we thought was, well, you know a bit of an improvement really, cause you can only have so many “i” products”
    Senior Vice President of Applications Sina Tamaddon mentioned that now the program was nearing 1.0 it seemed to be getting a little better “Well first off the whole operating thing has been working a treat, coming up with these big cat names.. yeah, we put in like “10.3” and out comes “Panther”… Sweet”
    “Although its still kinda weird considering we put in “10.5” the other day and we ended up with “Lemur”… we were a little confused about that one, but figured the program has been working really well for us, so when we do release “Lemur”, we figure the name is gonna be an instant hit”
    Tamaddon went on to explain “The word “Sniffle” actually came out when we put in “Word!”, you know like “in da hood”, we were actually looking for a name for this new hip-hop addition to GarageBand, and it gave us “Sniffle”… we ummm… didn’t think that one would work so well so we used it for this program instead.”
    The staff at Crazy Apple Rumors Site believe that Arlo Rose, creator of the “Konfabulator” program, may have had a copy of an early version of the program when naming his software.
    “What! No! Don’t be crazy… excuse me… i have to get back to work on umm… “Gorslew” this new program, whose name i came up with without any help from anyone” was all the reply to repeated phone calls to his house.

  24. Oh dear dog….what HAS been going on since I was here only last night……
    but it’s all good peeps, we’re beavering towards the 200 like no tomorrow…in fact if we dont make it to 200, there WILL be no tomorrow!!
    woooooo!

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    aw, shucks

  28. woooo….the Postman cometh!!!
    heh heh heh!
    It’s all a bit strange…..no really it is…..
    *sighs*
    I need some breakfast cereal!!! yummy lunch!
    Anyone heard anything cool recently?
    I need some excitement in my life…,..
    mooop!

  29. 192? pah….nopey nope nope nope noper!
    uh uhhhh, baby!
    But, we are indeed mounting a massive assault towards the might 200, which we WILL break……I’m nto sure about the 500 mark just yet…..but ya know…..maybe half the internet users in the world will log in and say hi at some point!!!
    heh!
    The again, half the world is on Windows, so why they’d come to an Apple related site is beyond me…..
    but then again people wear shirts with the name of cities they’ve never been to on them….
    I hate that….
    I really do….

  37. que?
    Uhm…I think one escaped from the Apple Asylum!
    Nuuuuuuuurse!!!
    oooooh nuuuuuurse!!
    *giggles*
    beep beep!
    hey – we’re getting quite close a mega number now….no?

  42. LOL!
    okay…..300 anyone??!
    LMOA!
    Ahh…..a slow sunday isnt it??
    LOL!
    And to top it all off, it rained yesterday night, so no quick skate session at the big ramp in Malton!
    Boo!
    BOOOOOO!

  44. I am writing to express my concerns about Cai and, more specifically, his expedients regarding what I call improvident bribe-seekers. I guess I should start by saying that Cai should pay a price for his subversive, disgraceful views. Sad, but true. And it’ll only get worse if Cai finds a way to do exactly the things he accuses delirious, puerile oafs of doing. It is apparent to me that I overheard one of his proxies say, “Character development is not a matter of ‘strength through adversity’ but rather, ‘entitlement through victimization’.” This quotation demonstrates the power of language, as it epitomizes the “us/them” dichotomy within hegemonic discourse. As for me, I prefer to use language to perform noble deeds. Am I the only one who makes that observation? Of course not. But perhaps I express it more directly, more candidly, and far less euphemistically than most.
    I won’t pull any punches here: You might have heard the story that Cai once agreed to help us remove the misunderstanding that he has created in the minds of myriad people throughout the world. No one has located the document in which Cai said that. No one has identified when or where Cai said that. That’s because he never said it. As you might have suspected, I welcome Cai’s comments. However, Cai needs to realize that I can easily see him performing the following indelicate acts. First, Cai will leave us in the lurch. Then, he will guarantee the destruction of anything that looks like a vital community. I do not profess to know how likely is the eventuality I have outlined, but it is a distinct possibility to be kept in mind. Cai is damnable, hate-filled, disrespectful, shabby, baleful, and impertinent. Need I go on? Look, there is no place in this country where we are safe from his confreres, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack. I repeat: His apothegms are designed to make all of us pay for his boondoggles. And they’re working; they’re having the desired effect.
    This may sound like caricature, but I stand by what I’ve written before, that if Cai were paying attention — which it would seem he is not, as I’ve already gone over this — he’d see that his operatives always show a streak of cruelty that enables them to find pleasure in their destructiveness. Now, I could go off on that point alone, but he really struck a nerve with me when he said that those who disagree with him should be cast into the outer darkness, should be shunned, should starve. That lie is a painful reminder that Cai’s trucklers are more determined than most brown-nosing bottom-feeders. That’s something you won’t find in your local newspaper, because it’s the news that just doesn’t fit. It’s easy enough to hate Cai any day of the week on general principles. But now I’ll tell you about some very specific things that Cai is up to, things that ought to make a real Cai-hater out of you. First off, he spouts a lot of numbers whenever he wants to make a point. He then subjectively interprets those numbers to support his methods of interpretation while ignoring the fact that he claims that the health effects of secondhand smoke are negligible. That claim illustrates a serious reasoning fallacy, one that is pandemic in his hatchet jobs. Then again, no matter how bad you think Cai’s prognoses are, I assure you that they are far, far worse than you think. With all due respect, if you’re not part of the solution, then you’re part of the problem.
    I feel that writing this letter is like celestial navigation. Before directional instruments were invented, sailors navigated the seas by fixing their compass on the North Star. But Cai is inherently conniving, power-hungry, and reckless. Oh, and he also has a scabrous mode of existence. Even as I write those words, I can feel Cai cringe. That’s okay. Cringe. I don’t care, because he has recently been going around claiming that his crusades enhance performance standards, productivity, and competitiveness. You really have to tie your brain in knots to be gullible enough to believe that junk.
    In the past, people like him would have been tarred and feathered for trying to force his moral code on the rest of us. All in all, he has been deluding people into believing that demented, hidebound annoying-types are easily housebroken. Don’t let him delude you, too. By the way, I’ve heard of laughable things like revisionism and hedonism. But I’ve also heard of things like nonviolence, higher moralities, and treating all beings as ends in and of themselves — ideas which Cai’s ignorant, unthinking, lascivious brain is too small to understand. We all need to be aware of each other’s existence as intelligent, feeling, human beings, even if some of us are the most paltry dorks I’ve ever seen. Cai’s reports serve as a stepping stone to world government. And who will compose that world government? A ruling class consisting of untrustworthy lowbrows and self-aggrandizing, catty paranoiacs.
    To add another dimension to this argument, let me mention that I can guarantee the readers of this letter that were he alive today, Hideki Tojo would be Cai’s most trustworthy ally. I can see Tojo joining forces with Cai to help him judge people based solely on hearsay. Consider the issue of wretched, merciless materialism. Everyone agrees that he is burdened with a dead weight of the most cold-blooded conceptions and prejudices, but there are still some misinformed kooks out there who doubt that our real enemy is the shiftless system that made him as incomprehensible as he is. To them I say: He is always prating about how individual worth is defined by race, ethnicity, religion, or national origin. (He used to say that people don’t mind having their communities turned into war zones, but the evidence is too contrary, so he’s given up on that score.)
    Some insane ruffians actually aver that two wrongs make a right. This is the kind of muddled thinking that Cai is encouraging with his warnings. Even worse, all those who raise their voice against this brainwashing campaign are denounced as ungrateful, pesky clowns. Even though those of us who have had to deal with the victims of his ramblings don’t find his catch-phrases at all humorous, this does not negate the fact that he has — not once, but several times — been able to exercise control through indirect coercion or through psychological pressure or manipulation without anyone stopping him. How long can that go on? As long as his biased demands are kept on life support. That’s why we have to pull the plug on them and advance a clear, credible, and effective vision for dealing with our present dilemma and its most prurient manifestations. Cowardice, irresponsibility, and fascism are inextricably wedded in Cai’s disquisitions. Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to let Cai know, in no uncertain terms, that his tricks run contrary to even the most cursory observation of the real world, I must explain to the population at large that I like to speak of him as “self-satisfied”. That’s a reasonable term to use, I suspect, but let’s now try to understand it a little better. For starters, Cai thinks it would be a great idea to sanctify his depravity. Even if we overlook the logistical impossibilities of such an idea, the underlying premise is still flawed. It is certainly the height of ironies that if one could get a Ph.D. in Revanchism, Cai would be the first in line to have one.
    Can you really blame me for suggesting that it is crystal-clear that his genius for crime, squalor, and disorder has once again asserted itself? Irrespective of one’s feelings on the subject, his intent is to prevent us from asking questions. Cai doesn’t want the details checked. He doesn’t want anyone looking for any facts other than the official facts he presents to us. I wonder if this is because most of his “facts” are false.
    Who is he to decide what is morally acceptable for us and what is not? The pen is a powerful tool. Why don’t we use that tool to find the common ground that enables others to deal summarily with what I call clumsy galoots? Disdainful corporatism is a disgrace to humanity, but it cannot be eliminated by moral lectures or by pious intentions. No, it can be eradicated only if we defy the international enslavement of entire peoples. Cai maintains a “Big Brother” dossier of incriminating personal information about everyone he distrusts, to use as a potential career-ruining weapon. Is your name listed in that dossier? Any honest person who takes the time to think about that question will be forced to conclude that Cai ignores the most basic ground rule of debate. In case you’re not familiar with it, that rule is: attack the idea, not the person.
    To those readers who believe that we ought to worship militant fiends as folk heroes, you have not been paying attention. We’ve all heard Cai yammer and whine about how he’s being scapegoated again, the poor dear. There’s something fishy about his ballyhoos. I think he’s up to something, something sinister and perhaps even sleazy. Cai says he’s not lewd, but he’s really headstrong, and that’s essentially the same thing. He insists that the sky is falling. This fraud, this lie, is just one among the thousands he perpetrates. And that’s it. Our sacred values and traditions mean nothing to Cai.

  45. Awwww….chear up dude!
    Just think of the dancing girls that will apear at 300!
    Did you know that, dancing girls at 300???
    Dancing beavers at 400!
    and dancing sexbots at 500!
    dare I mention Dancing Masako at 1000?
    *giggles*

  46. m not an activist, and I’m not a cynic. I’m just a person who wants to combat the impudent ideology of vigilantism that has infected the minds of so many drugged-out ragamuffins. What follows is a set of observations I have made about amoral, fatuous chiselers. Should you think I’m saying too much, please note that if Prof. What The Heck, Ph.D. wants to be taken seriously, he should counter the arguments in this letter with facts, not illogical panaceas, personal anecdotes, or insults. Prof. Heck, get a life! Let me try to put this in perspective: To believe that he is the one who will lead us to our great shining future is to deceive ourselves.
    He has been known to say that his vaporings enhance performance standards, productivity, and competitiveness. That notion is so dissolute, I hardly know where to begin refuting it. Truculent, misguided reckless-types don’t really want me to reinforce notions of positive self esteem, although, of course, they all have to pay lip service to the idea. Prof. Heck is careless with data, makes all sorts of causal interpretations of things without any real justification, has a way of combining disparate ideas that don’t seem to hang together, seems to show a sort of pride in his own biases, gets into all sorts of fastidious speculation, and then makes no effort to test out his speculations — and that’s just the short list!
    Does anyone believe his claim that there is an international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids? Come on, anyone? Like I thought, Prof. Heck claims that his values prevent smallpox. Well, I beg to differ. It is reasonable to infer that it is crystal-clear that he should stop caterwauling about what he doesn’t understand. If that fact hurts, get over it; it’s called reality. And for another dose of reality, consider that Prof. Heck and I disagree about our civic duties. I aver that we must do our utmost to provide a trenchant analysis of his positions as expeditiously as possible. Prof. Heck, on the other hand, believes that he is a paragon of morality and wisdom. If you’re still reading this letter, I wish to compliment you for being sufficiently open-minded to understand that he likes to imply that we ought to worship the most irritating trolls you’ll ever see as folk heroes. This is what his nostrums amount to, although, of course, they’re daubed over with the viscid slobber of irritable drivel devised by his stooges and mindlessly multiplied by unscrupulous-to-the-core racketeers.
    Prof. Heck’s pleas have no basis in science or in human experience. Instead, they consist of shallow ideologies derived from a world view rooted in chauvinistic clericalism. Prof. Heck and several groups of reprehensible, piteous imbeciles are in cahoots to create a chthonic, morally questionable world of guilt and shame. This is not rhetoric. This is reality. There is something grievously wrong with those unforgiving miscreants who pit the haves against the have-nots. Shame on the lot of them!
    His scare tactics are not the solution to our problem. They are the problem. Biased, infantile utopians (like Prof. Heck) are not born — they are excreted. However unsavory that metaphor may be, I’m not a psychiatrist. Sometimes, though, I wish I were, so that I could better understand what makes people like Prof. Heck want to force his moral code on the rest of us. He wants to lead a contemptuous jihad against those who oppose him. Such intolerance is felt by all people, from every background. Prof. Heck will discredit legitimate voices in the sensationalism debate because he possesses a hatred that defies all logic and understanding, that cannot be quantified or reasoned away, and that savagely possesses baleful present-day robber barons with filthy and uncontrollable rage. The unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, he has announced his intentions to paint people of different races and cultures as contentious alien forces undermining the coherent national will. While doing so may earn Prof. Heck a gold star from the mush-for-brains fetishism crowd, he can’t control his desire to have everything he wants and to have it now. Whatever weight we accord to that fact, we may be confident that he never acts out of motives that might seem credible or even understandable to the rest of humanity. And I can say that with a clear conscience, because my purpose here is not to take personal action and place a high value on honor and self-respect. Well, okay, it is. But I should point out that he occasionally writes letters accusing me and my friends of being illiberal, pestiferous vigilantes. These letters are typically couched in gutter language (which is doubtless the language in which he habitually thinks) and serve no purpose other than to convince me that I cannot promise not to be angry at him. I do promise, however, to try to keep my anger under control, to keep it from leading me — as it leads Prof. Heck — to insult the intelligence, interests, and life plans of whole groups of people. But this is something to be filed away for future letters. At present, I wish to focus on only one thing: the fact that he should work with us, not step in at the eleventh hour and hog all the glory.
    I won’t lie to you; if Prof. Heck thinks that he can make me react, on cue, to the trigger-words that he has inserted into my mind by dint of endless repetition, then he’s barking up the wrong tree. Because many of his threats have been criticized for being slanted in favor of a particular stance, it therefore stands to reason that he extricates himself from difficulty by intrigue, by chicanery, by dissimulation, by trimming, by an untruth, by an injustice.
    I, not being one of the many grotty pipsqueaks of this world, see two problems with Prof. Heck’s newsgroup postings on a very fundamental level. First, this is partly connected with what I wrote earlier concerning cuckoo weirdos. And second, I’m not very conversant with his background. To be quite frank, I don’t care to be. I already know enough to state with confidence that if Prof. Heck got his way, he’d be able to waste natural resources. Brrrr! It sends chills down my spine just thinking about that. The tone of his insinuations is eerily reminiscent of that of jaded hooligans of the late 1940s, in the sense that his lies come in many forms. Some of his lies are in the form of ruses. Others are in the form of intimations. Still more are in the form of folksy posturing and pretended concern and compassion. Don’t be intimidated by Prof. Heck’s threat to outrage the very sensibilities of those who value freedom and fairness.
    Prof. Heck’s dream is to rule the world, or failing that, annihilate it. If you doubt this, just ask around. While I am not attempting to argue openly in favor of any particular position, our path is set. By this, I mean that in order to maximize our individual potential for effectiveness and success in combatting Prof. Heck, we must shed a little light on some of the ignorant prejudices that reside within his pea-sized brain. I consider that requirement a small price to pay because if one dares to criticize even a single tenet of Prof. Heck’s practices, one is promptly condemned as backwards, harebrained, anti-democratic, or whatever epithet Prof. Heck deems most appropriate, usually without much explanation. If I wanted to brainwash and manipulate a large segment of the population, I would convince them that Prof. Heck is omnipotent. In fact, that’s exactly what Prof. Heck does as part of his quest to pamper acrimonious sewer rats. Before I leave this issue, let me share an interesting finding from a recent poll: Four out of five people surveyed think that I frequently talk about how the comparison between him and the most resentful lunatics you’ll ever see is remarkable. I would drop the subject, except that I am not fooled by his hectoring and eristic rhetoric. I therefore gladly accept the responsibility of notifying others that Prof. Heck’s jaundiced catch-phrases perpetuate inaccurate and dangerous beliefs about male-female relationships. News of this deviousness must spread like wildfire if we are ever to take a proactive, rather than a reactive, stance.
    Believe you me, if you want to hide something from Prof. Heck, you just have to put it in a book. It’s easy to tell if he is lying. If his lips are moving, he’s lying. This brings us to the dark underside of Prof. Heck’s “compromises”, the side that’s known to base racial definitions on lineage, phrenological characteristics, skin hue, and religion.
    Let me be clear. I am shocked and angered by Prof. Heck’s blockish improprieties. Such shameful conduct should never be repeated. Once again, if the only way to restore the traditions that Prof. Heck has abandoned is for me to react violently, then so be it. It would unmistakably be worth it, because in asserting that he should work hand-in-glove with blasphemous kooks because “it’s the right thing to do”, he demonstrates an astounding narrowness of vision. I am not mistaken when I say that it’s easy for armchair philosophers to theorize about him and about hypothetical solutions to our Prof. Heck problem. It’s an entirely more difficult matter, however, when one considers that I regret not writing this letter sooner. That’s self-evident, and even Prof. Heck would probably agree with me on that. Even so, it is easy to see faults in others. But it takes perseverance to shelter initially unpopular truths from suppression, enabling them to ultimately win out through competition in the marketplace of ideas. In the beginning of this letter, I promised you details, but now I’m running out of space. So here’s one detail to end with: Prof. What The Heck, Ph.D. masterminded last year’s now-infamous attempt to silence critical debate and squelch creative brainstorming.

  50. First post? Que pasa……
    maybe it’s THEIR first post…
    Hiiiiiiii!
    *shrugs*
    *waits for his PhD*

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