Just over two years after unloading stock to fund the purchase of a puppy, several senior Apple executives, now bored with the full-grown dog, are eyeing another purchase.
Having just recently cashed in more stock, CFO Fred Anderson, Senior Vice President of Applications Sina Tamaddon and General Counsel Nancy Heinen now have their sights set on a pony.
“I’m bored,” whined Tamaddon. “There’s nothing to do around here.”
Casting his eyes down and kicking lightly at one shoe with the other he added “But… but… if I had a pony, I… I could ride it and… and… that… that… would make me… not so bored.”
“I knew this would happen,” Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller said. “Puppies are cute but they grow up to become dogs and then they’re not as much fun when you have to feed them and take them for walks and clean up their messes and give them a bath and pay for their heartworm medicine…”
Schiller let out a heavy sigh and went back to picking up toys that had been strewn about the executive conference room.
Without looking up he continued “And who gets to do all those things? The Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing gets to do all those things, that’s who!
“And who’s going to take care of a pony, I wonder. Hmm? Because I am not taking care of a pony!”
“I’d take care of it!” cried Anderson. “I would!”
Anderson then began vigorously petting the dog, Mr. Barksly, as if in evidence of his ability to care for an animal. Visibly uncomfortable with the ham-fisted attention, Mr. Barksly retired to the corner of the room, taking refuge under a chair.
But the three executives may have already set the bar too high for the pony experience.
“My pony is going to be magical and can fly and will also be a unicorn!” beamed Heinen.
“I’m going to get on him and just ride and ride and ride,” said Tamaddon.
Tears welling up in his eyes, he added “I’m going to keep on riding until I’m far away from here!”
Sobbing openly, Tamaddon ran from the room.
“I’m gonna feed him carrots!” said Anderson cheerfully, not seeming to notice Tamaddon’s outburst.