Apple on Intel Deal: FACE!


In a startling turn of events, Apple announced today that the entirety of last week’s momentous announcement that the company was switching to processors from Intel was nothing but an elaborate prank.

At a press conference today, a visibly pleased Apple CEO Steve Jobs revelled in the moment.

Rolling on the floor and laughing, Jobs howled “Oh, my god, you should have seen your face! Ha-ha-ha-ha! That was classic! Classic!

Jobs pulled himself up off the floor in order to high-five and then low-five Apple Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller.

“This is something Phil and I cooked up about six months ago,” Jobs explained. “The hardest part was getting [Intel CEO] Paul Otellini to go along with it.

“I was like, dude, you’ve got to! And he was like, uhhh, I dunno, we might get in trouble. And then Phil was like, dude, don’t be a wuss.”

“Ha-ha!” Schiller laughed. “Wuss!”

“Shut up, dude,” Jobs said sternly. “So he did it! Ha-ha! I couldn’t believe it!”

According to sources, the entire lead up (including reports indicating the two companies were in negotiations), last Monday’s announcement and the details that have come out in the past week were all a ruse to dupe Mac users and members of the technology industry.

Many in the technology industry were not amused.

“That’s not funny,” said a red-faced Infoworld columnist Tom Yager. “You know… you know… you think you’re so funny. But you’re not.”

Yager then bolted from the room in tears prompting howls of laughter from Jobs and Schiller.

Mac users, meanwhile, feigned nonchalance about today’s revelation.

“Oh, I knew that,” said Your Mac Life’s Shawn King. “I totally knew that.

“Pff. Intel. Right! As if!”