Apple Releases MacBook Non-Pro Edition.

After weeks of random speculation that the company would do so, Apple released the MacBook Amateur today. Reminiscent of the “Good, Better, Best” product differentiation strategy of the early 2000s, the MacBook Beginner comes in white and black varieties that are labelled “Good”, “Also Good” and “EVIL”.

Purchasers of “Evil” are warned, however, that their MacBook Junior will eventually attempt to shove them down the stairs in a wheelchair while screaming something awfully dirty about Jesus.

According to Apple, the MacBook For Dummies sports either a 1.83 GHz or 2.0 GHz Intel Core Duo processor and, when licked, tastes vaguely like Tang.

Some Apple watchers expressed concern that the MacBook No You Guys Go Ahead, I’ll Just Watch For A Little While is priced higher than the iBook it replaces, but Apple executives felt this was justified.

“This is a great starter MacBook for those who aren’t ready yet for a MacBook Pro,” said Senior Vice President of Worldwide Product Marketing Phil Schiller. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked by some fresh-faced youngster ‘Gee, Mr. Schiller, I’d kinda like to sorta use a MacBook Pro, but golly gee willikers, I ain’t a pro at nothin’!’

“Ha-ha! Ha! Ahhh… Well… once, actually. I was asked that once. And my security detail quickly whisked him away. But the point is that many users would look at the PowerBook and the iBook and go ‘Hunnnnnh?’ Just like that. ‘Hunnnnnh?’ It was impossible to tell which one was for the professional and which one was for the layman. Other than the pricing. And all the marketing materials. Other than that, completely impossible.

“I suppose you could have asked someone. Like a Genius or a salesperson.

“But that’s it.”

The MacBook I’ll Just Have A Salad With Dressing On The Side goes on sale today.