IDG To Release Macworld Extended Edition.

Are you suffering Macworld Expo withdrawal? Are you still craving the constant inflow of a dozen podcasts and 10, 00 articles a day? Do you now pine for just one more glimpse of Chris Breen’s rich, luxuriant hair?

Well, your sleepless nights are over! Or, rather, just beginning anew again! Because Crazy Apple Rumors Site has learned that IDG (in association with Sessions Records) is releasing “Macworld Expo – The Extended DVD”, which will feature over 10,000 hours of unedited material, including presentations, articles, blog posts, podcasts, videos of podcasts, pictures of people doing podcasts and pictures of people walking around the Macworld Expo showroom floor looking for booth babes and wondering why there aren’t any booth babes.

According to sources at IDG, the 6-DVD set includes the following material:

  • Leo Laporte reads Tolstoy’s “War And Peace” – inserting “Steve Jobs” for “Pierre Bezukhov” – until he is unable to speak. He is carried on a bier from the podcasting stage by his adoring fans and lain in one of the Pzizz chairs until he recuperates.
  • 1 hour of a drunken CARS Editor-In-Chief John Moltz wandering around the Expo floor and asking people if they want to “see his iWang”.
  • A 1,000 page fictional account of Macworld Expo 2008 written by Dori Smith entitled “Harry Potter and the Schwag Bag of Moscone”.
  • Shocking footage of how Macworld’s Jason Snell, Philip Michaels and Dan Moren really spent their week: a cocaine-fueled blur of hookers and violence ending in a shootout with police (a PC World neighbor notes: “They seemed like such nice fellas. Quiet. Kept to themselves.”)
  • Glenn Fleishman’s 48,000-word essay on a whole bunch of wireless shit you won’t understand.
  • Video of Panic‘s Cabel Sasser sitting in his hotel room in his underwear watching “Adult Swim” while drinking a beer and eating expensive nuts, chips and chocolates from the mini-bar. Only after finishing the chocolates does he look at the prices and say “Eh, fuck it. I’ll just expense it.” Shortly after that he notices the video crew and chases them from the room.
  • Andy Ihnatko’s 5,000-image photo journal entitled “Upskirts of Macworld”.

IDG declined to comment officially, but when we called them their operators were standing by, thereby confirming the rumor.

24 thoughts on “IDG To Release Macworld Extended Edition.”

  1. Holy crap John, what did you do to your loyal fan base? Seven minutes after you make the post and I’m still first on the comment hit parade?

    What gives?

    Have you been forgoing the showers again?

  2. You need to get on the ball and get your 2009 Mac World count down up. Preferably in jumbo print at the top of the page.

  3. I find this hard to believe.
    I mean, really- 10,000 hours?

    Maybe if you had said 9000, or 9800 or something like that…


    Oh, my Pantsâ„¢ would like to know when it’s being released.

  4. Hey, why isn’t there any link to “John Moltz” ?

    Shy ?
    No luxuriant hair ?
    Too drunk to shoot ?
    Ashamed ?

    Top 12

  5. Can I have the European Concession, please?

    postscript:-Why are we getting the penny plain version of CARS over here>

  6. Would Fleishman’s stuff be easier to read if were in hex?
    Speaking of hex, who hexed my dollars? Ouch!

  7. Act now and you’ll also receive a hanging sign draped with black cloth, ready to be displayed after Apple’s keynote.

    But wait, that’s not all! You’ll also receive a Daring Fireball t-shirt: a super conversation starter with annoying whiners who didn’t receive theirs!

    Early adopters will also receive links to download iPod-compatible 4-hour Macworld soundscapes–you can carry a little bit of Macworld wherever you go. That’s right, anywhere becomes the Moscone Center with these enticing audiobites. Play one at your local mall and try striking up conversations about MacHeist or Harman Kardon with the girls outside Hot Topic.

    Wow, it’s just like you’re there! We call it the Everlasting Expo.

  8. I presume this is available for HD download forthwith (a word I’ve longed to use for some time now). Because I want to be able to see the pores on Cabel’s cable. Fnarrr. See what I (almost) did there?

  9. Just some minor observations:

    1. Chris Breen is developing an oblong bald spot, so that luxuriant hair might not be there forever. Better enjoy it now!

    2. Maybe John was referring to previously unseen sidekick Irving Wang? ‘Cause otherwise, that’s just wrong. Especially since there are no booth babes.

  10. Wow. Thanks John. That cured my withdrawal. I can probably get through the day just fine now.

    I’m ready to trade my Apple shares for some nice shearling gloves. Damn global warming is missing my neighborhood again. Frankly it all seems pretty unfair.

  11. I always write in hex.

    Anyway, Johnny, we DID see booth babes. Well, singular. One booth babe. Or, rather, two, but one made the other not look like a babe after we saw the other. Can’t recall the booth. Probably an audio equipment booth. One lady with long legs on one end, but on the other corner, another lady with a skirt so short you could practically see her fundamentals.

  12. Andrea took a paparazzi filth jessica simpson lesely as the four alarms puddled her gading their victims at the subconscious time. Any foggy fetishes?

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