Welcome to Macintosh

I neglected to mention that it was on tonight so you’ve already missed one airing, but if you were too cheap to buy it or rent it, the fabulous documentary Welcome to Macintosh will be on CNBC again Friday at midnight ET, 9:00pm PT.

I appear in it, but only in a small window so as not to frighten those of a sensitive nature such as small children, pregnant women or milk-producing livestock.

Here’s a sample:

See, that’s not so bad.

Anyway, Rob and Josh are our kind of people and you might actually learn a thing or two by watching it. I know I did.

Like I’m overpaying for my haircuts. That was one thing I learned. And goatees are out. That was another.

I also learned some stuff not related to my personal grooming. Stuff about Apple and Macs. Of course, anything I said I already knew. So, you know, those parts were wasted on me. But the other stuff was interesting.

42 thoughts on “Welcome to Macintosh”

  1. I’d be willing to bet a buffalo nickel that there’s no mention of sexbots.
    Or tunnels.
    Or iFlames.

    Or my Pantsâ„¢….

  2. Mr. Moltz, a surefire way to compensate for a weak chin without resorting to a goatee is to have all your other facial features reduced proportionally.

    But then we have the small head syndrome.

    For which there is also a fix!

  3. He must have missed us, we’re still here. If he would have hit us we’d all be dead.

    And lucky 13th. (uh oh…)

  4. Happy New Year, Yankee types et al.

    It’s snowing over in Blighty. We don’t have to say which bit because we’re so weeny that a single cloud doth cover us.

    Incidentally, has anyone else noticed that John looks just like Gruber . . . but without his glasses.

    Just a thought. Probably nothing.

  5. I watched the Apple ink. production last night I learned alot about Macintosh I would prescribe this to anyone!!! Im Glad to now know about Mr. Moltz and I have a question for you. ” when do you think Steve Jobs will be done at apple and then what happens?

  6. Sweet sixteen and the only one who watched (part of) this last night.

    In regards to the Reed Richards issue… does that mean Moltz is all bendy and stuff?

  7. Man I missed you, I really missed you all. I missed you so much that I wanted to say that I missed you. Normally I wouldn’t say anything, but just read. I should stop now I think. This is embarrassing..

    But serious, Moltz, please post something more often so I can read the comments…

  8. I watched the documentary yesterday and am watching my DVR’d copy again today. Really, really interesting stuff. I’ve been a PC, er, Windows guy all my life and was in amazement listening to the history of all this Apple stuff. Makes me wish I had some moolah to go out and buy a Mac right now.
    It was a splendid and informative showing to say the least.

  9. I use reeds in my tenor saxophone. Do you think Moltz would perform adequately? Must admit being rather doubtful about putting young John in me gob.

  10. At the risk of further public ridicule, I think I have the Reed Richards look. I could be wrong, but I won’t disagree with people who prepare my food.

    Second, and more importantly, Moltz has been holding out on us. Instead of posting here, he’s shilling to Macworld (just got the February 2010 issue in the mail yesterday). I think some folks here deserve a few of your shekels.

  11. That’s funny: you look just like John Gruber. BECAUSE JOHN MOLTZ IS JOHN GRUBER.

  12. @Nxxx- Moltz will work just fine.
    Be sure to slice him thinly, and dry him adequately first, though.

  13. This could have to do with that new apple product with quantum mechanic capabilities coming out on the 27th… or maybe it did… maybe Moltz will know what he knows today and that he knew back then as well! Love new Apple products!

  14. Having now seen last night’s showing of “Welcome to Macintosh,” I must say that I was impressed that our friend John Moltz was confined to a small box while most everybody else was given the wide-screen treatment. The significance was not lost on me.

  15. Ace- which bears the question… was he paid for the appearance? Or just given a picture of money in a small box?

  16. I think those in the video are shown ‘actual size’ and, given that John is well known as a midget (indeed, his father was the coroner munchkin in the Wizard of Oz) then he will clearly have appeared in a diminished form relative to his normal and therefore less risible colleagues.

    Either that or he’s just far less important that all the others.

    Far, far less important.

    Admittedly it’s a tough call.

  17. Actually, Moltz was far more important than all the others. While they all had time to sit down for a leisurely chat with the filmmakers, Moltz couldn’t leave the computer. He was multi-tasking while answering their oh-so-tiresome questions via iChat. I can’t tell you what the other tasks were, but you can bet they were important.

  18. Saw the movie, you are in it quite a bit…. but why are you so out-of-focus and fuzzy? Because of not wanting to frighten those etc etc? Nice movie though and you were pretty darn good.

  19. Come come, JCal. Get with the programme.

    Moltz won’t be ‘pretty darn good’ until he gets of his hi-ate-arse and starts regular posting.

    Until then, we are picking on him.

    Admittedly, we did do that even when he was regular.

    But we need to give him *hope*.

  20. That’s it!? One teeny bit of pundrity – totally eclipsed by the responses of a host of entirely too clever readers? This is what I left the comfort of this month’s MacWorld for? You guys sound as though Moltz comes down off the mountain once in a blue moon. If that’s the case, it’s time for a new prophet.

    If I have gleaned the wrong impression by the lack of any other Moltzings for review in the iPhone version of this site, that would be John’s fault too.

  21. @iMoo
    “picture of money in a small box”
    Now that’s funny. Really.
    My Pantsâ„¢ even think so. Now, I must admit, my Pantsâ„¢ are rather cold right now, so their opinion might be a bit skewed.

  22. Also, the movie is on Netflix as an Instant Watch on your computer or BluRay player. My wife is not a computer lover, but she enjoyed it quite a bit.

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