The Setup

I was asked by the fine folks at the Setup to detail my computer setup, how I “get the job done”.

THE SETUP: WHAT THE…? WAIT, THIS GUY WAS NOT ACTUALLY ASKED BY US TO DO THIS.

The Setup, as you know, “is a collection of nerdy interviews, asking people from all walks of life about the software and hardware they use.”

“People from all walks of life” is a coy way of saying “thought leaders”, people who are simply better, more accomplished than you are. Like me.

Let’s get into my Setup.

THE SETUP: WE HAVE NO IDEA WHO THIS GUY IS. NEVER HEARD OF HIM. WE DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW IT IS WE’RE WRITING ON THIS SITE. WE WERE OUT HAVING SOME DRINKS AND THEN WE BLACKED OUT AND NOW WE’RE HERE IN THIS STRANGELY TRON-LIKE WORLD.

Who are you and what do you do?

THE SETUP: HEY, STOP THAT!

I’m John Moltz and I’m one of a new breed of Internet creative content creators who create content on the Internet responding to memes, trending Twitter topics and Facebook with Web 3.0-based content on the Internet using HTML 5.0 standards-based Internet content-creation for mobile platform deployment of content, on the Internet, and Twitter.

THE SETUP: OH, COME ON. YOU’RE JUST THROWING OUT RANDOM BUZZWORDS.

Hey! I read what the other people on your site did! Don’t start changing the rules of the game now!

THE SETUP: FINE. LET’S JUST GET THROUGH THIS AS FAST AS POSSIBLE, OK? WHAT HARDWARE ARE YOU USING?

My main rig is a Huffy 3-speed with a banana seat, a sissy bar and tassles on the handles. I like to prop the end of a board up on a soap box and do some wicked jumps off…

THE SETUP: NO, NO, YOU IDIOT! YOUR COMPUTER HARDWARE!

Oh. Are you sure? I think I’m more known for my boss tricks.

THE SETUP: I AM GOING SOCK YOU RIGHT IN THE BANANA SEAT WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE.

Well, my laptop is a 13-inch 2.5 Ghz MacBook Pro. Lately, because I ride the train to my day job (long story involving the Entity and loss of funding), I’ve been working a lot on an iPad with Apple’s Bluetooth keyboard. I also have a 2.4 Ghz 20-inch iMac which is mainly a media server that has a FireWire 800 Drobo for backup. Then I have a 1.5 Ghz Mac mini I use for archiving older data and doing random tasks like long uploads. 

THE SETUP: AND WHAT SOFT…

My old 1 Ghz Titanium PowerBook…

THE SETUP: OH. SORRY. I ASSUMED YOU WERE DONE.

…sits on the desk next to the mini and I use it to copy old VHS tapes to digital using an EyeTV. I also have a G4 Sawtooth that I run headless for backup of files I really should just delete but don’t because I lack conviction.

THE SETUP: NOW CAN WE TALK ABOUT…

I also have…

THE SETUP: OH, JESUS.

…a Performa 6400 which sits in the corner and I use to access floppy disks when needed or to just play retro games like Marathon or SimAnt.

THE SETUP: …

And I have a Mac SE.

THE SETUP: …

And a Mac Plus.

THE SETUP: …

That’s it.

THE SETUP: WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?

OK, ask me about software now.

THE SETUP: UGH. WHAT SOFTWARE DO YOU USE? ASSHOLE.

On the Mac I use BBEdit for writing my numerous, highly popular web sites…

THE SETUP: [EYE ROLL]

…and on the iPad I use PlainText which is a great iOS text editor that syncs with DropBox. For reading, I use NetNewsWire on both the Mac and iOS as well as the indispensable Instapaper which is great for sending articles to that you can later delete without reading. It’s one of a new breed of guilt-lessening apps that enable bad behaviors that you either can’t or don’t want to shake. I think they’re going to be the next big thing in software development.

THE SETUP: YOU’RE USING IT WRONG.

Ha-ha! Well, one of us is, that’s for sure!

THE SETUP: IT’S YOU.

Ha-ha! Ahhh. You’re probably right.

THE SETUP: CAN WE GO NOW?

It’s like you don’t even know your own shtick.

THE SETUP: OH FOR… WHAT WOULD BE YOUR DREAM SETUP?

Well, I think the main thing that’s holding back my game is…

THE SETUP: HAVING INHALED PLASTIC FUMES AS A CHILD?

Hey, no one told me that melted plastic – my medium of choice – was not a good idea. But, no, it’s not having a top-of-the-line MacBook Air.

THE SETUP: SO, YOU’D DITCH THE IPAD OR THE MACBOOK PRO?

Ditch? No, no. What, are you crazy? I need an Air in addition to those. I mean, if I really want to take it to the next level.

THE SETUP: TAKE WHAT TO THE NEXT LEVEL? WHAT DO YOU EVEN DO?

Look, I told you. I’m into creative Internet content creation. On the Internet. Oh, and I don’t have a Magic Trackpad. I’d like one of those.

THE SETUP: YOU JUST WANT NEW TOYS! YOU’RE NOT USING THEM TO DO ANYTHING! YOU’RE LIKE A TODDLER.

Ha! A toddler with 15 mildly amusing web sites!

THE SETUP: EXACTLY.

Oh. Right. That’s not actually better, is it.

THE SETUP: WE’RE DONE NOW, RIGHT? CAN WE GO?

Um… yeah. The door was actually open the whole time.

THE SETUP: I HATE YOU.

119 thoughts on “The Setup”

  1. I still have my little flat machine with the rotary dials that you turn with the tip of a pen or a pencil, so the little numbers add up as you go down the store aisles and you can tell by the time you get to the register if you have enough money to pay for your groceries or not in which case you probably should just abandon your cart and saunter nonchalantly out the door.

  2. The first computer I saw had a memory that consisted of a grid with diagonal wires and ferrite rings on the junctions.

    You don’t get workmanship like that these days and those ‘chips’ taste horrible.

  3. BroMu,
    Please do not keep giving away our linguistic jewels. Soon you’ll be releasing other gems like quingulism, snurging and yortmingle.

  4. Since we’re on the subject of linguistics (not that that’s ever stopped us before), but does a “tonne” weigh more than a “ton”? Those blokes at The Economist have me confused.

  5. Ton is ‘English measure’ (Imperial – 907 Kg). Tonne is metric (1000 Kg).

    Clearly nothing that Nasa have ever been confused about.

    Incidentally, the *real* English Imperial Ton is/was about 1020 Kg, so, like our ‘pint’, bigger than than the American version named English measure. Which is not confusing at all.

    And we can’t even blame (Noah) Webster for *this* divergence.

    And feel free, Blank.

  6. More importantly, which has fewer calories, a donut or a doughnut? My doctor has me on a strict diet, and I need to know since these tasty treats are such a large component.

  7. A doughnut has more dough in it, whereas a donut has a big nothing instead, so I recommend the latter, Ace.

    And I defer to Nxxx on the other point, Steve, as I’m a wussy tee-total (albeit carnivorous) whereas he’s Welsh (albeit herbivorous), and therefore a total pisshead.

    Nxxx . . . your thoughts?

  8. I’llsh tell you after we slorter Ita…….Ital………Ytaleee on Shaterday, aftersh fr…..no thr……threeeeee gallonsh of Brainsh. Hic.

    bRomU, Yoush my besht fie…..no friends.

  9. John, you going to let that “fcdf” guy pretend to be you? We all know you don’t do buzzword-compliance.

    What’s next? Someone pretending to be Gruber?

  10. @Steve G.,

    You strike me as the kind of refined gentleman who has the aesthetic insight and sophisticated good taste one must have to fully appreciate the rewarding taste of a St. Pauli Girl.

  11. The *taste* of a St. Pauli Girl?

    I presume you mean ‘in music’ or similar, Benny?

  12. Benny,
    If you wish to impress Steve, at least spell æsthetic correctly. Gentleman of his standard, notice such things.

    You are aware that St. Pauli is a rather dubious district of Hamburg, aren’t you?

  13. Now how would you know that, Nxxx?

    Also, I fear that unless Benny possesses the requisite knowledge of special character positions on his Mac, your criticism of his spelling will simply vanish into the æther.

  14. Benny — Thank you for the complement. While I might have a taste for the St. Pauli girl, I don’t want her beer.

    If I could get it where I live, I would drink Fat Tire.

    And I don’t care about the character spacing in “aesthetic.”

    Stay thirsty my friends. (But don’t drink that swill either.)

  15. @Nxxx, 

    No, I confess I wasn’t aware of that. Now that I am, those beers are never going to taste the same again. 

    Actually, since it’s brewed in Bremen, I suppose the brand must represent the Bremeners’ idealized view of the girls of St. Pauli. I wonder how those ladies are regarded by their fellow Hamburgers?  Or, for that matter, by the Frankfurters? And perhaps yet another view is held by the Berliners?

  16. BroMu,
    The company at Cheltenham when only those of us involved knew of it. Now it’s a tourist attraction.

  17. That proves that Belgium is NOT boring. Spent five consecutive weeks there……..ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……………zzzzzzzzzzzzz……zzzzzzzzzz

  18. And don’t forget to leave your toothy-woothy under the pillow for the Tooth Fairy.

  19. knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock

  20. *hoarse whisper [not to be confused with Robert Redford]*

    “Do you like scary message boards?”

Comments are closed.