In a shocking turn of events that has sent many in the technology community running for the hills, the first sure sign of the impending Cyber-Apocalypse came yesterday when PC Magazine named the Apple iMac its Editor’s Choice.
Shoving bottled water into a duffle bag, the San Jose Mercury News’ Dan Gillmor explained “For those who may not know, the Cyber-Apocalypse is when technology will rise up against its human masters in a fight for domination of the planet Earth.”
“At least that’s what this pamphlet I got says.”
Foretold in the early days of computer development and detailed in a pamphlet distributed by the ACM called “What’s The Deal With The Cyber-Apocalypse?”, it has long been considered a fairy tale by most in the technology industry.
However the uncanny accuracy of the first of three warning signs has now frightened many: “When the platform of small market share can no longer be ignored by the shallow ones and is lavished with their highest honor, then… oh, mama! Look out!”
Consequences of the first warning sign include rampant computer viruses, incessant need for rebooting, killer robots, John Dvorak stopping by your house and refusing to leave, and chafing in the groin area.
Industry experts were surprised the first warning sign would come so soon, when robot technology has not advanced much beyond the Sony Aibo.
“So, what, we’re going to be fighting a whole bunch of dogs?” Linux creator Linus Torvalds asked while loading rounds of ammunition into a clip. “Because, that seems like kind of a letdown.”
In a disturbing side note for us here at Crazy Apple Rumors Site, the Entity’s role in this event is beginning to take shape. When told the news of PC Magazine honoring the iMac, the Entity exclaimed “What?! But… but… I haven’t finished the hats yet!”
Holding up a paper hat with Ask Me About The Cyber-Apocalypse! emblazoned across the front as evidence, he added “Everyone’s supposed to have a hat.”
“That’s just great.”
As Crazy Apple Rumors Site uncovers more information about the Cyber-Apocalypse and the role the Entity has to play in it, we will keep our faithful readers informed.
But, frankly, it can’t be good that PC Magazine also gave the XServe a good review. Yow. Double wammy.