Archive for June, 2003
05 JunWil Wheaton Pistol Whips Cabin Boy.
In a shocking incident marring this week’s MacMania and CruiseTrek theme cruises, representative of Norweigian Cruise Lines have confirmed that speaker Wil Wheaton pistol whipped a cabin boy late Monday night.
Filipino cabin boy Enriqué Salar was not badly injured, but Wheaton was relieved of his unloaded .38 revolver by Captain A.J. Unger. Norweigian Cruise Lines representatives were at a loss to explain how Wheaton got the revolver aboard, but a defiant Wheaton indicated that he carries the unloaded weapon on all his travels.
Asked by reporters why, Wheaton said “Well, if you know of another way to deliver a pistol whipping, I’d like to hear it.”
Wheaton claimed that in his extensive travels to technology conferences, Star Trek conventions and publicity tours for his new book, pistol whippings play an integral part of his travel philosophy.
“I’ve found that I get better service if I…” Wheaton paused, crossing his legs casually and forming his fingers into a steeple, “…establish my authority, if you will.”
“The trick is to take care of it first thing. Usually you’re too tired when you get to the hotel. Or the cruise ship. Or the bed and breakfast. Or your in-laws. Wherever you’re going.
“But taking care of it first thing allows you to spend the rest of your stay in relaxation and enjoy first rate service.”
Cruise officials and crew members at first attempted to restrict information concerning the incident. But Wheaton himself described the pistol whipping at length in both his MacMania session on weblogging and his CruiseTrek session on himself.
According to session attendees, Wheaton’s descriptions drew a smattering of confused applause and uncomfortable laughter.
“Look, if no one knows about the pistol whipping then how am I going to get better service?” he asked. “Is that not obvious?
“I don’t understand why you’re having such a hard time with this whole concept.”
Norweigian Cruise Lines has declined to file any charges against Wheaton.