08 Mar 04As Presidential Campaign Tightens, Jobs' Flip-Flops May Cost Him.


As the campaign for President of the United States tightened in recent weeks, Apple CEO Steve Jobs has been accused of numerous flip-flops in his career, weakening his image as a straight-shooting, mercurial executive.

Political analyst Randall Fournier noted several reversals of opinion by Jobs that he believes will cause him trouble with critical swing voters.

“For example,” Fournier said, “Jobs vowed to release a replacement product for the Newton, yet Apple has still not released a real Newton replacement. Jobs then stated he didn’t want to get into the PDA business, but the iPod has many features of a PDA.”

In perhaps the most devastating blow to his candidacy, Fournier noted that Jobs once indicated he would buy his daughter an IBM Think Pad for college, rather than a PowerBook.

“These kinds of flip-flops will kill him with NASCAR dads, tennis shoe moms and… um… maybe Newton users… I guess.”

Fortunately for Jobs, however, he is not actually a candidate for President of the United States.

Apple spokesperson Cynthia McLaren said “Steve has no and has never had any plans to run for President.”

McLaren denied that Jobs had established an investigatory committee late last year to examine the viability of a potential candidacy.

“Let’s just say there are certain things in Steve’s past that he’d rather not have brought to light.”

McLaren refused to comment on speculation that it centered around a 1979 incident involving a drunken drive through the desert in a VW microbus filled with hookers and guns.

“That is so unfair,” McLaren said. “This is precisely how these kinds of rumors start – idle, wild speculation by an over-zealous press.

“Besides, it is my understanding that those were licensed massage therapists, not ‘hookers’.”

Still, a “Draft Steve for President” movement is expected to begin this summer, as one has nearly every four years since the late 1980s.

No Responses to “As Presidential Campaign Tightens, Jobs' Flip-Flops May Cost Him.”

  1. Aaron says:

    What could be more useful for a politician than a reality distortion field?

  2. noone says:

    >What could be more useful for a politician than a reality distortion field?

    That wouldn’t work as politics is the art of distorting reality. Maybe this would lead all the politicians lies to become true, and we don’t want that, do we?