13 Apr 04Microsoft Promises Mac Halo 2 "When Plasma Technology Arrives."


Microsoft’s Bungie subsidiary is currently hard at work on Halo 2 for the Xbox and the title is scheduled to ship in the fall of this year.

Asked, however, when Mac users might expect to see a version of the infamous game, a Microsoft representative laughed and indicated “Sometime around when plasma technology arrives.”

The company’s reference is to the plasma weapons used by the characters in Halo, which is set in the year 2552. Halo 1 for the Mac, the plaform it was first demoed on, took infamously long to arrive after Microsoft bought Bungie as a source for a “killer” Xbox game.

“So, yeah, anytime you see plasma rifles or plasma grenades available for purchase, expect to see Halo 2 for the Mac real soon!

“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

Mac users were unamused, but not surprised.

“I know that dude,” MacCentral Peter Cohen said of the Microsoft representative. “He’s a real dick.

“Given how long it took Microsoft to release Halo 1 for the Mac,” Cohen said, “I don’t doubt the human race will already be engaged in an intergalactic battle with some conglomoration of alien races brought together by fanatical religious devotion long before Mac users see Halo 2.

“And cyborgs. There’ll be cyborgs before Halo 2.”

Asked to confirm the possibility that Cohen’s contention that intergalatic war would come before Halo 2 could be true, Crazy Apple Rumors Site’s the Entity, who might be in the know about such things, simply asked “Is Halo 2 coming out before next Thursday?”

Told it was not, he replied “Oh. Then, yes. It’s very possible.”

Seemingly unconcerned, he went back to reading Anne of Green Gables.

While Xbox users may have some advantage in the coming intergalactic struggle because of their advanced familiarity with multiple alien weapons, Mac users are urged to continue to play Nanosaur, which game experts feel will give them an edge when dinosaurs are eventually cloned.

No Responses to “Microsoft Promises Mac Halo 2 "When Plasma Technology Arrives."”

  1. Bob says:

    Eighth post!

  2. Citizen Of Trantor says:

    I hate it when people use the term “intergalactic” when they are talking about things taking place inside a single galaxy.

    I mean… it’s… just don’t!

    Besides, all there is between the galaxies (in true INTERGALACTIC space) are the dark matter creatures. And those guys are just big, fuzzy beasties who wouldn’t war for any reason.

  3. The Entity says:

    Oh, you are *so* naive….

  4. Lovecraft says:

    Soon the Unnamable Horrors from Beyond the Stars will envelop the world and that which lies not dead but Dreaming will once again Awake to take back what was once His.

    um…. woot.

  5. David says:

    I took it to mean that The Enemy would come from another galaxy. And I find your characterization of the prefix “inter-” to be inconsistent with regular useage such as “interstate.”

    I’m concerned about how Anne fits into this though, Entity. We’re being given instructions from Lucy Maud Montgomery via her classic works, aren’t we? AREN’T WE!?

  6. fuddes says:

    Post number six: the sexiest damn post on this intergalactic planet.

  7. Steve Austin says:

    Who cares about Cyborgs.

    Will there be Fembots before Mac users get Halo 2??

  8. Peter says:

    Hey, we got Escape Velocity, Override, and Nova. We’ll be better explorers b/c our ship computer systems are less likely to get hacked or crash.

  9. EMan says:

    So, Mr. Entity, is Interplanetary Janet really a sexbot?

  10. ZethoMarx says:

    Post Number Nine: The Post that Cares.

    (cue music).

  11. MICHAEL EISNER says:

    i wonder if the entity ever hooks up with davros ??!!

  12. Garnack says:

    Am I the only one who thinks Earth’s first INTRAGALACTIC war will be caused by a Microsoft security issue in an Alien visitor’s notebook?

  13. The Entity says:

    I eat Daleks for breakfast.

    OK, technically, they are Dalek-Os and I eat them with milk, but…

  14. Oh My GOD how weird, I was just reading Anne of Green Gables!

    OOps, I mean Globules, my mistake.

  15. Laemkral says:

    As a member of the Inquisition, the Entitiy is most certainly right. There are lots of horrible, nasty, big, bad, gnashing, bitey creatures out there!! And there is a LOT of emptiness between galaxies, which means a LOT of stuff can hide out there. Personally, I like to stay put here in the good old Milky Way. But let’s just accept there are things beyond our galaxy that really would love to take a big bite out of a Milky Way….galaxy.

    And I’m sure we’ll be doing just fine when the plasma guns and other strange new alien weapons will be made use of. After all, I’ve got me a bolter, and in the end that’s all I really ever need…

    *smiles and hugs his bolter, cradling it like a child, then begins talking to it in baby talk*

  16. larry the hobo says:

    I am not worried in the least. I know that we will be able to infect any alien ship with a virus from our powerbooks. This will cause them all to self destruct. It will be easy.

    Really.

    I saw it on TV

  17. ipodguy says:

    The Entity knows about next Thursday!? Who told him? Man oh man… Thursday was a SECRET… WHO TOLD HIM ABOUT THE THURSDAY THING?

    Did I say ‘thing’? I meant… uh, nothing, nothing at all. In fact, I never even posted this. You aren’t reading it… but by next Thursday you’ll all be ***** ** ** *** ******!!!

  18. alienzed says:

    see cause now next thursday I am expecting Mac OS X on Intel… you know… hell freezes over… Microsoft releases a working product… we all find out Iraq doesn’t exist… all that stuff… and nice episode btw… forget plasma guns! i want plasma ice cream!

  19. Homer says:

    Hmm, Ice Cream…

  20. touchstone says:

    PLASMA ICE CREAM

    Ingredients:

    2 Quarts Blood

    6 Egg Yolks

    1 Cup Sugar

    2 Cups Cream

    Directions:

    Spin Blood in centrifuge to seperate out Plasma.

    Beat Yolks and Sugar until smooth and light.

    Heat Cream until simmering.

    Temper the Yolks with the heated cream and whisk until smooth.

    Whisk in Plasma and freeze according to Ice Cream makers’ instructions.

  21. Joe says:

    Now I want a Milky Way bar…

  22. touchstone says:

    **MILKY WAY BAR**

    Ingredients:

    One Medium Galaxy

    4 Ounces Chocolate

    1 Tablespoon Peanut Oil

    Directions:

    Melt the Chocolate with the Oil.

    Dip the Galaxy in the melted chocolate.

    Let harden for 10 minutes in a refridgerater.

  23. Joe says:

    Maybe… not… one… so big.