iTunes Randomization Makes Subliminal Messages.

After recent questioning of iTunes randomization scheme sparked by users noticing that like songs are often played close together, researchers have discovered Apple is employing a scheme that creates subliminal messages.

Unlike subliminal messages that appear as quickly flashed image in video, Apple’s subliminal messages occur over the length of an iTunes playlist of sufficient size. According to researchers at MIT, songs in iTunes are strung together to create messages such as “Buy a new G5” and “You want an iPod mini” when listened to over the course of several hours.

“These messages are only noticeable when the entire playlist is compressed down to several seconds,” said Dr. Ranjit Vij of MIT’s Department of Acoustic Studies.

Vij was unable to confirm rumors that several iTunes beta testers being kept under close guard at Apple’s Cupertino campus were under the impression that they were Mac-using chickens or that if you play “Channel Surfing” by Feature Cast backwards you can hear Steve Jobs say “I buried Woz.”

iTunes users were shocked by the revelation.

“I thought something funny was going on!” said Mac user Scott Martin. “The other day I was jamming to iTunes for a while and all of a sudden I had this compulsion to run out to the Apple Store and buy a new iBook! I don’t need a new iBook! Apple’s trying to turn us into mindless zombies that will buy whatever they sell!

“Which, admittedly, is not that different from the way things have always been… so, I’m not really sure why they’ve gone to this much trouble.”

Apple spokesperson Cynthia Mclaren vehemently denied the accusation of subliminal messages in iTunes.

“There is absolutely no truth to these rumors,” Mclaren said. “Besides, subliminal is such a dirty word, laden as it is with negative connotations. I mean, ‘liminal’ isn’t even a word, so how can something be ‘subliminal.’ Right? It’s ludicrous.

“I have a feeling this will all blow over after the next iTunes update,” she added, smiling.

“Don’t write that I was smiling,” Mclaren said.