14 Apr 04Inside Apple


We haven’t had one in a while, but our popular Inside Apple feature is back with a vengeance as sources within Pixar were able to pass us the tape from the answering machine in Steve Jobs’ office! We were, admittedly, somewhat surprised to find that Jobs has an actual answering machine with a tape in it, but when you strike rumor gold you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth!

You, uh, also probably shouldn’t mix metaphors like that.

I know that, technically, this might be considered Inside Pixar, but the transcript of this tape will reveal just how hard it is for Jobs to keep his two companies separate on any given day.

Enjoy… Inside Apple.


[Tuesday, 4/6/2004, 9:15 AM]

SENIOR VP OF HARDWARE ENGINEERING JON RUBINSTEIN: Hi, Steve? It’s Jon. Listen, we’ve got a situation over here… a shortage situation we’re working on and… well, it looks like… it looks like… see, I thought we were all going to get a fruit cup at the manager’s breakfast meeting and… well… I was the last one in line and… no fruit cup. I know you’re working on other things… but… I just… the thing is… I just… Well, I think Avie might have taken two fruit cups. And, uh… that’s just… I don’t think… I don’t think people should be taking two of anything before everyone’s had a turn through the line, so… uh… well… When you get this message, could you please give me a call? Th-thanks.

BEEEEEEEEEEP

[Tuesday, 4/6/2004, 10:22 AM]

RUBINSTEIN: Hi, it’s Jon again. I was just checking to see if you were back yet. Guess not. I’ll, uh… I’ll try you again later. Just… trying to clear up the fruit cup thing. Bye.

BEEEEEEEEEEP

[Tuesday, 4/6/2004, 11:27 AM]

RUBINSTEIN: Steve, I’m sorry to bother you again, but… I was just thinking… uh… well, if you’re going to come over here at some point… could you pick me up a fruit cup on the way? I’ll pay you back. I mean… I could get something else here, but now I’m thinking about a fruit cup, you know? Got myself all psyched up for it, I guess. [sigh] Um… how’s your day going? Hope it’s going good. I’ll talk to you later.

BEEEEEEEEEEP

[Tuesday, 4/6/2004, 1:15 PM]

CHIEF SOFTWARE TECHNOLOGY OFFICER AVIE TEVANIAN: Steve, it’s Avie. Listen, I don’t know if you’ve heard from Jon or not, but if you do, you’re gonna hear a lot of talk about a fruit cup and… well, yeah, I took his fricking fruit cup… but it’s only because I left him an extra yogurt because the last time he kept complaining there wasn’t enough yogurt. Just… trying to do the right thing here. It’s like I can’t win with this guy. Anyway… call me.

BEEEEEEEEEEP

[Tuesday, 4/6/2004, 2:55 PM]

SENIOR VP OF RETAIL RON JOHNSON: Hi, Steve, it’s Ron. Listen, Steve, we’ve got a problem with iPod mini projections. We’re running into real supply problems and I think we need to do something to make it good with the customers. I’m thinking about a free upgrade to the 15 GB model which helps solve our problem and gives them a little bonus. So, I wanted to get your feedback on that. I’ll be around this afternoon if you want to call me. Oh, and Avie took Jon’s fruit cup.

BEEEEEEEEEEP

[Tuesday, 4/6/2004, 3:27 PM]

SENIOR VP OF APPLICATIONS SINA TAMADDON: Steve, it’s Sina. I just heard there was a manager’s breakfast this morning. Is that something I should have been invited to? Because… I wasn’t. Just thought I would ask. Since I am a Senior Vice President. You know. And I heard there was fruit cup. It sounded nice. So please call me.

BEEEEEEEEEEP

No Responses to “Inside Apple”

  1. I'm not saying first post says:
  2. I'm not saying first post says:

    D’OH!

  3. mr. conspiracy says:

    sloppy seconds!

  4. Bellidancer says:

    Makes you wonder how in the hell Steve ever gets anything done.

  5. ZethoMarx says:

    Everybody knows that nine-tenths of successful management is people skills. And the other tenth is fruit-cup distribution.

    It’s in all the books.

  6. Chris Derry says:

    Mmmmm, fruit cup

  7. larry the hobo says:

    fortified fruit cups get you drunk

  8. EMan says:

    You know, if you mix the yogurt and the fruit cup together, you’ll get two great tastes that tastes great together.

  9. Aaron says:

    Here Apple is, in the heart of what used to be the richest fruit growing country in California if not the world, and all they can get is processed *fruit cups* from who knows where. Damn urban sprawl.

  10. MICHAEL EISNER says:

    10-10 till we do it again

  11. MICHAEL EISNER says:

    Here at Disney, you’ll get fruit roll ups.

  12. Ozguru says:

    What is a fruitcup?

  13. John Moltz says:

    A fruit cup is simply some cut up fruit – strawberries, melons, apples, oranges, what have you – in a light syrup.

    Mmm. It’s delicious. You can see why Rubinstein was so upset.

  14. fuddes says:

    Please stop touching my penis. Thanks guys. I hope we don’t have to discuss this again.

  15. alienzed says:

    man these guys are great… jut when I thought no one could make fruit so damn funny… ah man… fruit cup!! lol

  16. macattacks10 says:

    Where is my fruit cup?

  17. Laemkral says:

    I can neither confirm nor deny the actions of the Inquisition in hiring Avie Tevanian to take Jon Rubinstein’s fruit cup. We might have done it, we might not have. Maybe we’re hoarding fruit cups to buy off an alien mercenary to kill someone, maybe we’re not. All I know is I can’t say yes or no to the potentiality that we’ve discovered a planet incapable of producing fruit for various reaons and the people of this planet crave fruit in exchange for their technology which will render out own weapons obsolete. Not that I’m gonna say anything.

  18. Ozi says:

    ok so your US slanged “fruitcups” are in fact just little plastic cups with mixed fruit in them eh? we in australia dont have a name for the genre of fruit cups, so to speak. And Im sorry I touched his penis. Also, im waiting until the new iBooks come out then im making me a purchase. yay.

  19. wonder bob says:

    I think we are missing something here. the Apple Folks kept calling Job’s Pixar office from 9:15 AM till 3:27 PM.

    WHERE WAS STEVE JOBS?

  20. ozman says:

    In australia we do so have fruit-cups……. you haven’t heard of Goulburn Valley…. you know with those rowing guys from the olympics that sing that annoying song that gets suck in your head, well they are fruit cups. Just to clarify.

    And I too am sorry for touching his penis.

  21. Anonymous says:

    Oh its a Goulburn Vally fruit cup, (yeah yeah)

    Fresh picked from the tree, (fresh picked from the tree)

    Its tastes so go-od too me!! (Tastes so good tastes so good!)

    /me goes insane.

  22. Ozi says:

    OFF COURSE I have heard about them… I just thought most users of this site wouldnt think I was sane, if I suddenly begun singing “Goulburn Valley Gold…” and flashing my overly white pointers to dazzle all readers of my post.

    Also wearing the tights could also be a bad idea.

    Go here for a picture of said men in tights:http://www.spcardmona.com.au/brands/goulburn.php

    disturbing, i know.

  23. doggo says:

    Wait, if a fruit cup is “A fruit cup is simply some cut up fruit – strawberries, melons, apples, oranges, what have you – in a light syrup.” Then what is Fruit Cocktail? You know, that stuff that comes in a can?

    I pictured like one of those fruit salads you buy at the grocery store, cut up watermelon, honeydew, cantaloupe, strawberries, seedless grapes. Sometimes, if it’s an upscale place, or the Apple managers breakfast meeting, they’ll put in some blueberries, or raspberries, or kiwi. But there’s no syrup. Oh, and all that in a clear plastic cup, like you get an iced latte in at Starbucks.

    Oh, and bananas are going extinct, so eat as many as you can now, before they’re all gone.

  24. Dwartz Farquhartz says:

    Well, duh, a fruit cup is fruit cocktail in a cup. It’s all a marketing scam, like juice boxes/bags.

  25. Aaron says:

    There are single-fruit fruit cups, e.g., sliced peaches. But most of them are “fruit cocktail.”

    There was a day where you’d go outside what are now the Apple offices and pick plums off the trees…

  26. Fringe says:

    hi-fricking-larious!

  27. gringo says:

    Ah. In Blairite UK, Fruit Cup = Fruitini. Remind me of school. Cutting my finger on that o-so-sharp edge….using the lid as a handy scalping-tool.

    Good times, good times.

  28. Bill (shoulda crushedum) Gates says:

    Hey I want one of those Friut bats too!

  29. rogozhin says:

    Steve’s just screening these weenies’calls, wonder bob…

    Wouldn’t YOU?!?!?!