According to sources in Apple hardware engineering, 30-inch displays are being held at the loading docks pending a decision concerning 30-inch desktop pictures.
In what can only be described as a collective case of creative block, Apple executives have been unable to make the final decision on what images should highlight Apple’s monster display.
“We’ve done bottles, we’ve done insects, we’ve done abstracts…” said Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller. “What will really draw people in to this gorgeous display? What will make them say, ‘Me likey display! Me buy!’
“Think, people! Think!”
Drawing nothing but blank stares, Schiller sighed heavily.
“Um…” said a hesitant Senior Vice President of Applications Sina Tamaddon, holding up one sample picture. “Little kitties?”
“No! No!” an exasperated Schiller said. “Think big! Like the 30-inch display itself!”
“Well,” said Chief Software Technology Officer Avie Tevanian, “I wanted the cover of Led Zeppelin’s seminal album Houses of the Holy. No one’s bigger than Led Zeppelin. But you guys went off on copyright problems…”
“No 70s rock bands! No Led Zeppelin! No Who! No Pink Floyd!” Schiller said.
“What about…” started Senior Vice President of Worldwide Sales and Operations Tim Cook began.
“No Bachman Turner Overdrive!”
“Oh,” Cook said.
Several minutes of silence were broken only by the occasional shuffling of the printed images scattered across the table.
“I believe this shot of several female asses all lined up will really speak to our male users,” said Senior Vice President Jon Rubinstein, drawing stares from around the table.
“Again, Jon,” Schiller said, “We’re not using anything from your personal collection.”
Apple executives have vowed to put in extra hours until a decision is made.