19 Oct 04Babies Love Target Disk Mode.

Findings released by Apple today indicate that babies love Firewire target disk mode.

Based on feedback from numerous customers, Apple demonstrated that children aged between three and 18 months will invariably smile, laugh, dance or otherwise react positively when a Macintosh is put into Firewire target disk mode.

“It’s the darndest thing,” said Senior Vice President of Worldwide Sales and Operations Tim Cook. “We don’t have an explanation for it, but there it is.

“Babies love target disk mode.”

Mac user Andrew Suzuki said his 8-month-old son, Colin, is one such baby.

“I don’t know what it is,” Suzuki said, staring intently at his son, “but whenever I put my iBook into target disk mode to copy some files to my Power Mac, he laughs and claps his hands.

“It’s really freaky,” Suzuki said, a concerned look on his face. “I’m thinking of taking him to the doctor.”

Apple Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller indicated that the company is considering highlighting this bizarre fact in some of its promotional material.

“This could be a valuable selling point with people who have fussy babies,” Schiller said.

Spreading his hands out like he was envisioning a banner, Schiller said “‘Got a fussy baby? Get a Mac!’

“And if they didn’t have any Macs, they’d have to buy two. That’s gravy. That’s just gravy.”

Suzuki seemed unsure.

“While I see the potential benefits, this is just wigging me out right now. I’m not sure if marketing it is the right way to go.

“I mean, what is it they like about it? Is it the little symbols that flash on the screen? Is the high-speed data transfer? What?

What?!” he asked, almost eye to eye with his smiling son.

36 Responses to “Babies Love Target Disk Mode.”

  1. Anonymous says:

    frost pots!

  2. bear says:

    FIRST! and I spelled it right!

  3. Anonymous says:

    If by right, you mean, you didn’t write “frost pots” like I did, then yeah, you got “first.”

    “First-at-being-a-loser-who-posts-second” that is!

    Oooo, zing!

  4. what-da-hey says:


  5. Maybe it’s because the firewire icon looks like the maternal Y .

  6. greenacres says:

    Or perhaps the symbolism of data coming down a long, dark tunnel…

  7. Matt says:

    lucky 7!

  8. greenacres says:

    But what if the firewire cable is putting out electromagnetic waves that change the child’s simple brain functions? What if it influences our own adult brains into, say, murdering the nearest Windows user and then erasing the memory? Wouldn’t that jibe with ATAT – Jack Miller’s theory that Steve Jobs is using Macs to control the world!? Now that I know this, wouldn’t the signals cause me to self-des…aaaaaaaaaugggh…

  9. J. J. Moon says:

    Consider for a moment perhaps it’s correlation, not causality.

  10. UhhhDude says:

    Maybe babies are just smarter than we think.

    (Well, except for that whole pooping-in-the-pants thing. And drooling, too.)

    It’s a subconscious attraction to cool-looking, well-made technology, an attraction that gets eroded over time with continuous exposure to Microsoft products.

  11. Ozi says:

    I liked the “long dark tunnel” theory…

    The thing I love about CARS is that you never know what to expect. I dunno how, but the articles are always outta left field. Its great!

  12. Huck says:

    So close! Soooo close…

    And to the #4 poster, it’s “fourth” not “forth”. And don’t look at me like I’m British.

    “Forth” is a friggin’ direction.

  13. MacStansbury says:

    I just realized that I don’t really read the stories anymore.

  14. John Moltz says:

    That’s it. I’m having Masako put the filter on the comments that makes sure you read the story.

  15. Daddy Bartholomew says:

    “‘Forth’ is a friggin’ direction”? Like, east, west, north and forth? Wouldn’t that mean that, oh, say, “fro” is a direction as well?

    Unless you meant it literally, maybe? That would certainly give titillating new meaning to the phrase “pacing back and forth”, wouldn’t it…

    Yes, yes, I know I’m just being tiresomely pedantic here, but after a long day of “teaching” to “high school students” without access to “corporeal punishment” or even “excessive sarcasm”, well, sometimes I “reach” a “limit”, you know what I mean? I hear sometimes even postal employees do the same thing, so just “cut” me a little “slack”, all right?

  16. PoisedNoise says:

    Forth is a firth. in Scotland. It has a bridge. Surprisingly, the Forth Bridge. When it was built in 1890, it was the largest manmade construction ever. Also the first bridge to be made totally out of steel. Not the fourth mind, but the first.

    Just remember it with this easy rhyme:

    The The Firth of Forth was First crossed with the Forth Bridge, which was also a building First.


  17. androgen says:

    They like Firewire disk mode because babies like boobies…for food of course. The Firewire icon looks like a boobie, with sripes and bars on it. Its a very baby-centric icon.

    On the other hand, I like the Firewire icon for completely different reasons.

  18. Brother Mugga says:


    Right there with you on the ‘firewire icon = boobies’ front.


    I don’t suppose there’s any chance your called ‘androgen’ because you’ve never had access to the, um, ‘goods’ as it were?

    Just a thought.

    That I can’t now get out of my head.

    Oh my.

    Rather like that sketch on ‘Little Britain’ last night.

  19. mr. conspiracy says:

    Maternal Y? WHAT IN THE HELL? Men have the Y chromosome. Women only have XX. Unless I am too sleepy to comprehend. gh. too tired…

  20. Explizite Lyrik says:

    “The The Firth of Forth was First crossed with the Forth Bridge, which was also a building First.”

    I think that it is about time for me to mention this so called “language” you “speak” is about the cheesiest thing I`ve ever seen or heard. I mean fourth forth firth birth thirtyseventh… come on, do you have any idea how that sounds like? Not to mention how it looks like: You show your tongue and spit your gross saliva right in the face of your opponent. And then you wonder why nobody wants to talk to anymore. It`s just a unworthy (spit spit) form of communcation for a human beeing with a minimum of dignity left.

    I mean, did Johann Wolfgang von Goethe write Doctor Faustus in english? Nein, mein Herr!

  21. Anonymous says:

    Going back to the theory that babies are smarter than us, I think if we could find a way to poo our pants and have some else clean it up, and then have them *arrested* if they stop cleaning it up and hit us…

    Well, there’s only one word for that: Genius.

    And not phony “Apple Genius” either. Baby Genius. http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/super_babies_2/

  22. Ozi says:

    dear lord that movie looks awful… *shudders*

  23. Del says:

    I’m not certain why they think they’d have to sell two mac’s to someone who wants to put their computer into target disk mode. You still get the nifty icon when you only have one mac. It’s just kind of worthless, but still entertaining on a tot level.

  24. Dwartz Farquhartz says:

    Ahh, but the babes *know* it’s worthless. Try it, and you’ll see that they show no interest until the 2nd Mac is connected and electrons are flowing.

    Oh, and Huck…don’t you think that the #4 poster was trying to continue the inane misspellings of the frost poster?

  25. Wee Willy says:

    You’re killin’ me Mr. Moltz

  26. blank says:

    “Forth” is also a programming language…

    Perhaps Target Disk Mode-loving babies prefer Forth to C++ for all their coding needs.

    BTW, I did read the article.

  27. Anonymous says:

    It is obviously a metaphor for the placenta.


  28. Del says:

    I’m not explaining the female Y, but I think there is going to be a show ‘n tell later in the Mega Post.


  29. In third would countries, babies have to make do with USB 2 or…God forbid…parallel ports.

    Send money today.

  30. That’s “third world”. Jeez, eye shuld lern to spehl.

  31. Late to the party says:

    Targets love baby disk mode.

  32. Gunkulator says:

    Speaking of Duct Tape….

  33. growed up says:

    Back in my day, all we had were SCSI chains, and that’s the way we liked it.

    PS- Best article ever.

  34. Re: maternal Y, I have one hint for you.


    (it’s where babies come from, by the way)

  35. Ozi says:

    Why wang, that was much more subtle than your usual hints. Congrats.

  36. Anonymous says:

    Or as it’s referred to in “How to get your ass kicked in India,” by Jon Stewart: Vindaloo.