Microsoft Asks Apple To Move Over A Bit.

In a press release issued today, Microsoft asked Apple to move over slightly as the company was having a hard time seeing Tiger.

Microsoft indicated that it was currently working on Longhorn, due in 7-10 years, and that its work was being impeded by Apple standing in front of the 30-inch Cinema Display showing Tiger and blocking its view.

“Longhorn will provide a state-of-the-art interface that brings usability to a new level,” the company said.

“Provided Apple gets its fat ass out of the way and we can see what we’re shooting for. God! Would you move?!

Apple did not directly respond to the request, but sources close to the company indicate that it has moved even closer to the screen, using more of its body to block Microsoft’s view.

“Apple is not in the least interested in complying with Microsoft’s request,” the source said.

“They can spring for the $500 to become an ADC member and get a copy to look at. Sheesh.”

However, all indications are that Microsoft intends to stick to its request that Apple move over.

Responding late today to Apple’s move to block its view of the screen, Microsoft sighed heavily and said loudly “Ex-cuse me! Excuse me! Trying to see! Hel-looooo?

“Oh, that is so rude!”

24 thoughts on “Microsoft Asks Apple To Move Over A Bit.”

  1. Gee… No one has commented on the story.


    I am in education. When ever someone tells me we should being using Windows because our students should use the kind of computer the “real world” uses, I tell them by the time our kids reach the job market, the windows machine they may use will look alot more like current Mac OS than current Windows OS.

    Actually, it is a funny story though.

  2. I used to work for Experian and Microsoft was a client. I actually heard them try to steal one of our main programmers which was against the contract rules. Then they stole the concept of our Professor Lingy and turned it into Bob. Ours was still better…Good thing we charged them triple the going rate for all of their work! They left when, allegedly, Bill Gates had told their marketing dept. that he couldn’t have their customer data on a mainframe. It went to a company whose owner was a relative of the a muckety-muck there. Typical.

  3. Ok. I did read the story, now I’m doing the setup….

    WHO will take it?

    WHO’S Post will reign supreme!!


  4. Not only would I have to get my ass out of the way, we would have to give them glasses, a guided tour, a translator and a boatload of Indian programmers before they could even come close to LOOKING like OS X, let alone WORKING like it.

    For that they’d need Avie, and I’ve got him locked in a room with a freezer full of frozen pizzas and lots of cases of Coke. Try to steal OUR programmers? I THINK NOT!

  5. For the anonymous poster: We were a subdivision (Direct Marketing Technology) that Experian (yes, credit) bought. We processed all the names and addresses for catalogers and we had a nifty product called PC Direct Select that allowed Marketers to query their data easily and stuff it into Excel for reports automatically. Professor Lingy was a ‘head’ at the bottom of the screen that told the user all about the data. I didn’t name him, I swear. Microsoft liked the product a little too much. State of the art at the time (1995-1999). I used to build the databases for the clients from their raw data. The best two I built were for Victorias Secret and Venus Swimwear. Actually went to Vickies HQ in Columbus, OH. Did you know that their covers are all posters in lining their hallways? The marketing folk were quick to say the models never visit.

  6. Del said, “I think you are a very cunning linguist.”

    There are as yet undiscovered aboriginal tribes in the deepest, darkest heart of Australia that knew you were going to sat that.

    Man, people, enough with that line. Heard it in a movie last week. I think it dates back to the 1700’s or something.

    Don’t make me come over there!

  7. Sounds like Professor Lingy was the precursor to “Clippy” the obnoxious paper clip.

    “It looks like you’re writing a letter…”

  8. great. I leave for just a couple of hours and not only do we have a Del sighting, but she’s all about the, ahem, winking…

    this just isn’t my week.

  9. Yes, I’ve been to Columbus, OH. Home of Ohio State University (full of hot babes) AND Batelle Labs, (full of geeky scientists). Obviously, it is the close proxomity of these two that has made Columbus, Ohio the primary hub of sexbot-related research.

    And it’s all in the middle of Franklin County – which, by the way, went for Kerry.

    (Damn Cincinnatian mouth-breathing, Christo-fascist, sexbot hatin’ sons of… … … )

    Man, I need some booze and hookers!


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