20 Dec 04Apple/Real Conflict Turns Into Playful Pillow Fight.


A continued war waged between Apple and Real Networks over the ability to play Real tracks on the iPod has culminated in a playful and oddly erotic pillow fight between the two companies.

The move has baffled and disturbed those who follow the digital music industry.

“This is not how I expected this to end at all,” said a visibly uncomfortable Playlist magazine editor in chief Jason Snell, watching the two companies cavorting sensually on a bed.

“I mean, continued technological one-upmanship, some nasty press releases, maybe a legal battle – I was prepared for those. But this? This is just creepy. The giggling… the skimpy outfits…

“And the fact that it’s all in slow motion is frankly just gratuitous.”

Few indeed saw this development coming, as the conflict over Real’s Harmony technology, which enabled tracks bought from Real to play on the iPod, seemed poised to escalate. But there was one witness.

“I saw the whole thing,” said iPod user Javier Roeher. “Apple issued an update to the iPod software, disabling Harmony. Then Real kind of pushed Apple, and Apple slapped Real. Then there was some hair pulling and some kicking and… all of a sudden, out of nowhere, some pillows appeared and…

Roeher seemed set to see how the pillow fight turned out.

“I’ve got a sandwich and some bottled water and I’m not moving,” Roeher said.

“It might get better.”

Snell simply shook his head.

“That’s just too weird for me,” he concluded.

44 Responses to “Apple/Real Conflict Turns Into Playful Pillow Fight.”

  1. UhhhDude says:

    Bam! first!

  2. woot says:

    first, yo.

  3. woot says:

    dag. I blame, uh. Nazis.

  4. UhhhDude says:

    That’s that. Now to read the article. Real. Pillow fight, or something.

  5. poster says:

    5th bitches

  6. UhhhDude says:

    Wow. I need a cold shower now.

    (Shudder)

  7. Bellidancer says:

    I can picture it now. Much better mind images than some recent ones around here.(Del please destroy those Ballmer photos.)

    But John, what is with the threat? Have we been unruly? bothersome? annoying? Well…even so… threatening to cut off the comments!!!!! John, some of us have no lives, ( witness the scramble for first). First you inform us you will be taking a few days and then you joke… about cutting off comments!!!

    (Del…Please? My sanity is teetering. )

    Blue Christmas indeed.

    (Shut up Mr. “I hate Whiners”. Go find another site.)

  8. Dan says:

    I was at work, sold an iPod photo (note the lower-case “p”) so, I think this should count as first.

  9. Aaron says:

    You sold a photo of an iPod?

    Anyway, what’s a pillow fight without sexbots?

  10. Streetrabbit says:

    The skimpy outfits….leather? What about studs. Were there studs?

  11. Psyko says:

    You name it and it was there. The CARS staff just didn’t have the time to go into detail on everything.

  12. Gee, just like Rock Hudson and Doris Day. Although I am not sure which one Apple would be and which one Real would be.

  13. bear says:

    Rock Hudson and Doris Day…the original Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan

    I think Apple has a decidedly feminine side, so I see her as Doris/Meg

  14. Is it so wrong says:

    I can see it now. Steve in a leather teddy (with a turtle neck), and Rob probably in some sort of latex.

  15. Bludge says:

    Considering Rock Hudson was gay, I think that’s very appropriate.

  16. Streetrabbit says:

    WAS gay. You mean he’s not gay anymore??

  17. bear says:

    he’s dead!

  18. bear says:

    sexual preference is a tad irrelevant once you’ve kicked the bucket…

  19. woot says:

    Necrophilia aside, anyway.

  20. Gomer Pyle says:

    Shizaam, Shizaa, Shizaam! Rock Hudson was my favorite dandy! He and I were in the rumor tabloids (today it would be rumor sites, right?) and though we denied it, now that he’s dead as my career, I can admit it. I wanted to be Doris Day soooo much! But then my hairy legs sort of precluded a makeup job.

    Sigh, I miss my days in the closet.

    General Gomer Pyle, USMC Ret.

  21. Del says:

    I’m sorry Bellidancer but I do not have the power to delete those photos. I would if I could, but I seemed to have unleashed a Pandora’s box of sweaty monkey imagery on CARS. I’m very sorry! In order to make it up here is a link to a very cute bunny

    http://boomersint.org/images/rabbit.jpg

    That might help. If you need more cuteness how about kittens?

    You can see my pretty kitten Harlequin! That should make it all better.

    http://www.umich.edu/~techess/cats/harley1.jpg

    http://www.umich.edu/~techess/cats/harley4.jpg

  22. blank says:

    Which is worse, whining, or whining about whiners?

    The latter is a MEGA-whine!

    (Just hope they stay out of the MEGA-POST…)

    Corporate pillow-fights–now that will keep your mind off whining. Weird is good, but where’s AtAT today?

  23. Del says:

    You are expecting posts two days in a row from AtAT? Next you are going to want to Viewer Mail to be updated.

    Excerpt from Viewer Mail:

    “one of our recent scenes (“We Never Saw It Coming” from 10/2/02″

  24. macmaster says:

    Hot sexbot pillowfights.

    MMMmmmmmm…………

  25. Del says:

    Why does this remind me of Undercover Brother?

  26. Streetrabbit says:

    Rock Hudson DEAD!!! WHY…God…NO…TAKE ME…I can’t live in a world without Terminator movies?

    Note: rewind 8 posts for full humorous impact. Damn this need to sleep!!! Thanks bear, beautiful feed.

  27. Bellidancer says:

    Streetrabbit, Have you actually slept or are you actively delusional? What is the connection between Rock Hudson and the terminator?

  28. Anonymous says:

    Waaaaait for iiiiiit…

    bastard

  29. Streetrabbit says:

    No connection. Actively delusional.

  30. Bellidancer says:

    Thought so…. To be expected actually. You, after all, presumably read the articles and the comments.

    CARS… better than mushrooms!

  31. Streetrabbit says:

    If Rock Hudson were alive though, would he be a better Terminator or a better Governor of California?

  32. Streetrabbit says:

    ..or let’s say he’s not alive.

  33. Bellidancer says:

    While “Rock” implies a certain nonliving nature that fits the Terminator, alive Rock was way too “sensitive” to portray a metallic cyborg. Dead? who knows…he might do well in the role now.

    Alive, he might have made a governor in the mode of Reagan. However, dead, he would have been more like Davis.

  34. Cunfused movie fan says:

    Wasn’t Rock just in some movie about the king of scorpions or something? Or he was some tall guy going to beat someone up with a walking stick.

    I don’t know maybe it was someone else.

  35. Streetrabbit says:

    Sorry. I’ve been caught up with essqueelz and veebees in the murky nether world of hhmphicrosoft access.

    I don’t know either of those guys unless you’re talking about Ronald Reagan and Sammy Davis. But then neither of them were politicians were they? Maybe Sammy Davis was. Yes I think he was.

  36. The Rock says:

    Yes I was. And I’m sorry I missed the pillow fight.

    Oh..and please forgive me for getting back to the subject of the article.

  37. Bellidancer says:

    Babies…Is that who is reading this site? Babies?

    Next people wih be asking if Walt Disney was a real person or why in old movie they always use the same annoying mechanical ringing sound for telephones instead of using different more interesting sounds.

    Blah. I feel old.

  38. Streetrabbit says:

    Walt Disney a real person. That’s funny. I’m old it’s just that I’m an idiot.

    Our Man Flint had an interesting ringtone.

  39. Bellidancer says:

    YES!!! The first electronic ringtone I can remember. I loved that ring. I wanted that ring on my phone for thirty years. Who knew how annoying it could be?

  40. Streetrabbit says:

    http://www.wavsource.com/movies/our_man_flint.htm

    Not a ringtone, though they are available. Can you play WAV files on a mac? Woops!! Revealing my true identity. ahherm..*puts on “oS X me baby!” t-shirt and assumes superior attitude* Wal-mart are selling linux laptops now you know.

  41. Delusional says:

    I know. Those Wal-Mart machines must be sweet.

    You know nothing spells quality like W-A-L-M-A-R-T.

  42. Psyko says:

    What pictures can’t you delete Del?

  43. Del says:

    The ones of Ballmer that I tortured Bellidancer with. Hold over from a previous comments section. 🙂