23 Dec 04Happy Holidays!


From John, Chet, Ugluk, Masako, the Entity, Howard, Scooter, the secretary, Gorto the Evil Clown God, Tentaculous the giant octopus-like being at the center of the galaxy, Gloria the sexbot prototype, Albert (Albert?), Vinz Machete and…

INTRODUCING…

STRAIGHT FROM A LIMITED ENGAGEMENT AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE IN LANCASTER, PENNSYLVANIA…

FLICK, THE MAGICAL HOLIDAY SQUIRREL!!!

Um…

What?

Oh.

Flick had a conflict, so…

Waffle House extended his contract?

I see.

Well… good for Flick.

See? That just goes to show how he’s a magical holiday squirrel.

Anyway, y’all have a good weekend. Flick would have wanted it that way.

24 Responses to “Happy Holidays!”

  1. Dan Pourhadi says:

    FIRSTY

  2. Dan Pourhadi says:

    To clarify, “FIRSTY” is an excited rendition of the word “First,” which also means #1, before the rest, inaugural, and YOU-BEEN-0wn3d.

    Thank you.

  3. Dan says:

    I would have been first, but I just drank a litre of chicken soup, and really had to pee.

  4. Mr. Skeptical says:

    I find it hard to believe that Tentaculous would wish me a good weekend.

  5. MacStansbury says:

    We have never seen Dan, Dan, Dan, or Moltz ever in the same room at the same time.

    I swear to Heaven that they’re all the same person.

  6. Bart says:

    Exactly, thanks a lot. Happy Holidays.

  7. JAV says:

    My squirrel’s name is Buddy. He lives outside and eats the bird seed on my balcony.

    JAV

  8. Anonymous says:

    My squirrel’s name is Paininthea** and he is a sexbot eating 6 foot beast. Yeah, thats right, I admit it. My squirrel eats sexbots, that is why we never see them.

  9. Psyko says:

    Doh, that is my post right above this one. I accidentally hit the “Forget Personal Information” button right before I hit the “Post” button.

  10. Huck says:

    Flick, the magical holiday squirrel eh?

    Now that is a very silly name…

    …And what’s all this about waffle houses then?

  11. Flick says:

    I missed the 11th post like I missed the CARS holiday party extrav-o-rama.

    I’m not a squirrel though. I’m a beaver. My tail is used to create the waffle pattern. Just… just thought I’d clear that up.

  12. Garnack says:

    How can we have a Happy Holiday without Flick. He’s such a fun loving little guy. His cute little cheeks filled with nuts. Sorry Howard, we know that’s a sensitive subject for you. His naked nun impersonations. His bawdy little sing-a-longs. What a crazy little guy he is. And you want us to have a happy holiday after you’ve cancled his show.

    Well, “Ba Humbug!” I say. “Ba Humbug to you all!”

    Oh, and “Merry Christmas!” too.

  13. Jasn(Yasn) says:

    Albert? Hey what ever happened to him… I was checking the staff page one day and No more Albert… What gives… Did i miss that episode where he falls into a coma due to John and Chet taking over someones fathers company, whilst his wife ran off with his butler… and his car swerved wildly off the rolling screen behond him tossing him to and fro. finally coming to a rest in the bottom of a river… which was where the local sherif was dumping all his evidance… and after the sherif dragged him from the burning car underwater he gave him an injection to make him comatose??? Did I?

  14. won says:

    There has never been anyone on the CARS staff named Albert.

    At least, not in this universe.

  15. John Moltz says:

    Won is correct. There is, however, an Albert who works at Apple.

    If the universe we currently inhabit had been different, he might have worked at CARS.

    It’s not, of course. I’m just sayin’ is all.

  16. UhhhDude says:

    Flick?

    Yeah, he’s at our house.

    We’re, um, having him over for dinner.

    More precisely, we’re HAVING him for dinner.

    Mmmm…squirrel…

  17. Ozi says:

    Merry Christmas, John.

    You guys have kept us laughing for another year, and thats a special gift.

    Thankyou.

    ~Ozi.

  18. John C. Randolph says:

    I’m posting this from the waffle house! They have an Airport base station now!

    Flick is great, and the waffles are delicious!

    -jcr (and I’m still jealous of Vink.)

  19. The Invisible Evil Boy's Choir says:

    Waffles! Waffles! Waffles! Waffles! Waffles! Waffles!

    Waffles! Waffles! Waffles! Waffles! Waffles! Waffles!

    Waffles! Waffles! Waffles! Waffles! Waffles! Waffles!

    Waffles! Waffles! Waffles! Waffles! Waffles! Waffles!

  20. John C. Randolph says:

    Oh, and when did Flick get this creepy backup group? They sound like the Backstreet Boys.

    -jcr

  21. Leibnitz, N. says:

    OMIGOD! MASAKO IS A LESBIAN!

    Sorry, I’m a bit slow… But you see, life is a bit like a box of chocolates…

    (Happy Holidays to the CARS staff, thanks for all the fish.)

  22. CTHULHU says:

    I MISSED THE XMAS THING, AND I’D WISH YOU ALL A HAPPY NEW YEAR, BUT SINCE I’M EVIL ALL THAT STUFF IS RIGHT OUT! IT’S MUCH MORE LIKELY THAT I’D WISH YOU A YEAR FILLED WITH UNSPEAKABLE HORROR, BUT OTHERS HAVE THAT COVERED AS WELL, SO I THINK I’LL JUST GO TAKE A NAP!! MAYBE I’LL CONSUME SOME SOULS AFTER…A LIGHT SNACK AFTER DREAMING ALWAYS PUTS ME IN THE RIGHT MOOD!!!

    HOW DID I MISS XMAS, YOU ASK??! I WAS TENTACLE-WRESTLING WITH WHATS-ITS-NAME AT THE CENTER OF THE GALAXY, BEATING IT FIVE TO NOTHING!!!!!

    I TAUGHT IT A VALUABLE LESSON: NEVER MESS WITH A DEMON-GOD WHO WIELDS A FACE FULL OF TENTACLES!!!!!!!