15 Feb 05Jobs Fires Guy Just Visiting Apple Campus.


CEO Steve Jobs showed his mercurial side yet again today as he attempted to fire someone who does not even work at Apple.

Bay-area programmer Paul Corretti was visiting a friend at Apple and ran afoul of Jobs during an elevator ride. Corretti entered the elevator on the ground level and Jobs entered behind him just before the doors closed, leaving the two alone inside.

Corretti said “At first I’m thinking, wow! This is so cool! I’m in an elevator with Steve Jobs!

“But as we’re going up, Steve starts giving me the evil eye and then says to me ‘So… what have you done for me lately?'”

Jobs is notorious for surprise “interviews” of Apple employees in which he attempts to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Unaware of this, Corretti was confused at first.

“I thought, ‘Is he comin’ on to me?’ But then I realized he thought I worked for him and wanted to know what I contributed to the company.”

Despite realizing there was a misunderstanding, Corretti said that Jobs’ demeanor was so commanding that he felt compelled to reply.

“I stammered something about having bought an iPod shuffle a couple of days ago. He looked at me like I had told him I nailed his sister.”

Corretti pointed out that he had actually nailed a friend’s sister once, so he was in a position to know what that look looks like.

Apparently unimpressed by the response, Jobs summarily announced that Corretti was fired and that he should pack up his desk and be out of the building by the end of the day.

“Then I told him ‘OK, but I don’t work here.’ And he said ‘You’re damn right you don’t work here because I just fired you.’ And I said ‘No, I mean I never worked here.’ And he said ‘Oh. Fine, then.’ And I said ‘Fine.’ And he said ‘OK.’ And I said ‘Great.’ And he said ‘Right.'”

The rest of the ride was marked by an uncomfortable silence before Corretti, for reasons he was not able to determine afterwards, felt compelled to say “Thanks!” as Jobs exited the elevator.

Corretti left the campus somewhat confused as to whether or not his visitation privileges had somehow been revoked.

45 Responses to “Jobs Fires Guy Just Visiting Apple Campus.”

  1. Anonymous says:

    First to read the article and post!

  2. Fov says:

    I should mention “raie” is butt-crack in french…

  3. Jon says:

    Fourth!

    Woohoo! I’m workin’ my way up the ladder. First post, here I come!

    Well, back to work.

  4. Huh? says:

    Moo.

    no, really.

  5. Psyko says:

    Kitten foo fools.

  6. androgen says:

    First!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Bellidancer says:

    This story just rings true. Anyone read the story about how the program “Graphing Calculator” was created? Great Story. The program was created by two ex-employees who continued to show up at the Apple campus after they had been fired( laid off).

    Maybe Jobs is trying to motivate Paul Corretti to create some insanely great software!

  8. MacStansbury says:

    this is the first story that’s made me laugh in a while.

    and now for the…

  9. Spike says:

    Eleventh?

  10. Psyko says:

    Kitten foo fools.

  11. Huck says:

    Agreed, very good article. It doesn’t abruptly lose focus like *some* articles do. “Oh, and by the way something about aliens and sexbots, LOL!”

    Personally, I would liked it better had I gotten 11th post, but you know… it was still good.

  12. Psyko says:

    I was a very good article. I must say that it is some of the most realistic work yet, errr, am I allowed to say that? Anyway, I enjoyed it thoroughly. I would like it more if I could meet Steve Jobs some day in one of those interviews as an employee.

  13. Streetrabbit says:

    Mmmm…yes elevators. I was stuck in an elevator once with the CEO. We were in there for 45 minutes. We started of with awkward conversation about the weather and sport. By the time the firemen got us out we were best buddies. I’d lost the farting contest but won the pee up the wall challenge. Yes those were the days. There are still times when I wish I was back at Microsoft.

  14. ijit says:

    hah, brilliant Streetrabbit … just brilliant

  15. Steve Ballmer says:

    StreetRabbit! Where have you been, buddy? We need you back at the evil empire. I can’t figure out how to drive the golf cart!

    DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!

    DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!

    WEEEEEAAAAAAAAAGGGGH!

  16. Switcher says:

    “I should mention “raie” is butt-crack in french…”

    Mmmm, yep my friend, but it’s a fish, before all.

    Not that i wanted to mention that a “a butt crack” COULD be a fish. But a “raie” IS a fish.

  17. Switcher says:

    Nice story by the way.

  18. Fov says:

    “Mmmm, yep my friend, but it’s a fish, before all.”

    Only depends of the order you learned it… and I definitely learned the “butt-crack” meaning before the fish one. So, for me, “raie” is a butt-crack before all…

    Hmmm… butt-crack… oh.

  19. Mr. T says:

    Psyko;

    Hey fool, stop using my trademark. I have the world fool trademarked and anyone who uses it in a specific context, in the same manner as my gold-chain laden self, must pay me a royalty!

    So pony up fool, before I come over there and snatch you bald!

    Luv.

    Mr. T

  20. Psyko says:

    Mr. T,

    I could care less about you and your stupid demands.

    Regards,

    Psyko

    P.S. That is a pretty worthless name.

    P.P.S. Get spellcheck going. It is built in to Mac OS now days.

  21. ! says:

    Mr. Psyko means “couldn’t care less,” but his spellcheck doesn’t catch such gaffes.

  22. Bellidancer says:

    Psyko, I’ve got your back. Wait!!! You just insulted a mountain of a man. The “Toughest Man in the Universe”(tm)!!!! The “Toughest Man in the Universe”(tm) who has a hair trigger temper!!!!! Do you realize the man has a WEBRING dedicated to him?!! There are hundreds of MR. T vs everybody else stories online!!! (Mr. T vs. Everything is at http://www.mrtvseverything.com/)

    You’re on your own on this one, Psyko. I’m going to go hide!

  23. sven says:

    S C H I L L E R A L A R M !!!

    What’s up? From macintouch:

    >>Rob Mohns raises a natural question about Apple’s new marketing VP, Allison Johnson, joining from HP:

    “I wonder how this relates to Phil Schiller, Apple’s current “Senior Vice President of Worldwide Product Marketing”, whom I believe also reports directly to Jobs. Is he being replaced, will their positions be complementary, or will they be doing different things entirely now?”<<

    Crown Prince or Goner? We Should Be Told™ !

  24. Brother Mugga says:

    Apparently, Yanks *do* say “could care less” instead of “couldn’t care less”. Except for the ones that don’t. It’s all very confusing.

    Personally, I couldn’t give a monkey’s.

  25. Bellidaner says:

    Of course you couldn’t, Brother Mugga. Only the monkey can to that.

  26. Miss Jean Brodie says:

    Well; that is simply appalling!

  27. Vince Stradaconiglio says:

    He did you know, nail my sister. My mother too. He was just about to get it on with our next door neighbour’s labrador but that bit him which he didn’t like much. The man’s some kinda sex freak maniac I’m ‘tellin ya!

    Jobs is just lucky he wasn’t secreting whatever kinda hormone gets Paul goin’ or he’d a been in real trouble. Real big trouble…in an elevator, confined spaces, he loves those.

  28. Brother Mugga says:

    Which is probably why they’re in such demand for Organ Grinding duties.

  29. Psyko says:

    No, around here it is said as, “could care less.” Sorry, but I am right on this one since I am the one that is living where I am living.

    Bellidancer, don’t worry about my back. I’ve got the Kitten Foo Masters on my side. Nobody stands a chance against them. That is why you only pull them out on the tougher enemies. A lesser enemy may leave them unsatisfied with their victory and they may come after you. Then you are screwed.

    So, Mr. T. Sorry about your incompetence in thinking you can patent the word fool. Darn.

  30. greenacres says:

    He’s also incompetent when it comes to realizing that cutting all the trees down on his ritzy Lake Forest property, here near Chicago, would not relieve his allergy to trees. He’d have to wipe out all the trees in the nearby states, too…So I will side with Psyko on this one. Although, Psyko has that attractive sister….hmmmm, naa, I’ll leave that joke alone. Wouldn’t want to get the Kitten Foo Masters ‘ninja’ing on my ass…

  31. Streetrabbit says:

    Does that mean that you really posses a degree of care though? Or that you care a little bit but not as much as you should or could?

    If you come across something you really don’t care for in any way shape or form, would you modify your regular practice and say “I couldn’t care less for that”? In other words you are bereft of care and you don’t have any capacity TO care less.

    I’m proud to point out that this entire post passed spelling and grammar check with flying colours.

  32. Psyko says:

    What I say means that I care very little, but there are things out there that are lower on my list. When I really don’t care at all I say that I couldn’t care less though. Two different things for two different applications.

    Wow, we passed?

  33. Bellidancer says:

    Could care less

    Couldn’t care less

    Has this become a Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary site?????

    If so, I’ve always wondered about the whole flammable/inflammable thing. How can they both mean the same thing?

    Streetrabbit, you English have alot to answer for. The English language is totally screwy. Inconsistances, illogical phrases and constructions, bizarre spellings!

    Not that we American have done anything to make things better. In fact we owe the English a big apology for all the weirdness we’ve inflicted on the mother tongue.

  34. greenacres says:

    Ummm, having worked in England, there are spots where I couldn’t understand a word they said. They butchered it well enough without our help….As it is, they single-handedly caused most of the troubles in today’s world. Pakistan/India battle, hmmm, who divided up everything, tampered with their culture enough? Iraq, who set the borders? They are paying for it now, no real resources (no more countries to turn into civilized worlds), people eeking out a living. I felt bad when I had an American who moved there permanently describe the difference between life their and here (hard to see from polite hosts and living in a hotel). IT workers were getting paid so much less than us, not EVEN funny. With the high taxes, expensive goods, life has to exist on a much simpler plane for most of the people. Except for the figurehead monarchy, of course. Good for tourism, though, but strange to have people on display in a human zoo of sorts. Except that they only come out of the cave at certain moments. Makes it hard to throw them a marshmallow…

  35. Chet says:

    I nailed Moltz’s sister.

  36. John Moltz says:

    Oh, for Chrissake, MacGruder, she went to your prom with you as a favor and *this* is how you repay her? Slander?

  37. MacStansbury says:

    nope. I still don’t buy it.

    just admit you killed Chet, come clean and we can work you out a deal it you’ll just show us where the body is…

  38. Streetrabbit says:

    And pictures of Chet and your sister would be the only acceptable proof.

    Just strolling in a park or something or even at the prom. I don’t mean the actual nail event. No no not that.

  39. Streetrabbit says:

    You know it’s very convienient that this thread was “terminated” by the posting of a new article.

    It’s almost as if MacStansbury was getting a little too close for comfort.

    Keep digging MacStansbury. The truth must be known.

  40. Ah yeah? And what about Steve Wozniak?

    Hmm…?

    Jobsy would be nothing without Wozzy.

  41. Psyko says:

    I think Cai killed Chet for Moltz to try and get his name put in something special. Or to be made king of the MP. Then maybe Cai used some memory forgetting device or pill to forget about it. The memories can not be gone forever though and small details start to nag at a person. Like, that patch of dirt looks familiar, I think I might just dig a big hole there to see what I find. So, he found the body and remembered what he had done. So in an attempt to hide it forever the offered Del co-ruling of the MP if she would fill the hole with concrete. Or something like that.

  42. x says:

    And it’s “couldn’t care less” if you are trying to make the point that you don’t care. Saying it the other way is just wrong, no matter where you live.

    You guys are all lame.

  43. OSXISTCO says:

    Last post! Woo Hoo!!