Nothing today?


There’s a network outage at the top secret Crazy Apple Rumors Site headquarters. We’re down the street at the coffee shop posting this. We’d love to post from here but the coffee shop people want a “cut” if we do.

I’m pretty sure they have no idea what the business model behind a rumor site looks like.

Anyway, if the situation improves back at the office in the next few hours we might be able to slap something together, otherwise it’ll be tomorrow.

Unless it’s still down then.

America’s wired city, my ass.

Which leads us to our comments topic: boxers or briefs? Compare and contrast and conclude with a recommendation.

And for the ladies: thong or big-butt panties?

54 thoughts on “Nothing today?”

  1. Wow…the thing about a post at this hour (okay, well before _this_ hour but still really early) is that those who are around to see it apparently know little about post stacking… 11!

  2. Well, now that 11 is past and we can OFFICIALLY talk about the article, I’m a boxers man. Briefs kill your sperm and we can’t have that here. How can I father the next evolution of the human race if my sperm are dead.

    I’m really only thinking about mankind. Really!

  3. I always knew you were in San Diego. That disturbance in the force every time I sleep with my head to the south was the clincher.

  4. THONG! THONG! THONG! THONG! THONG! THONG! THONG!

    THONG! THONG! THONG! THONG! THONG! THONG! THONG!

    THONG! THONG! THONG! THONG! THONG! THONG! THONG!

    THONG! THONG! THONG! THONG! THONG! THONG! THONG!

  5. Briefs. There are worse things that could happen to humanity than me reproducing, but they haven’t been reliably documented.

    I want my sperm to be quite dead.

    Asbestos-lined cast-iron briefs.

    With a plutonium testicle heater.

    Comfy.

  6. Commando ! For the ventilation. Boxers with a smooth elastic seam at the top come in second. And silk is best.

    For the ladies – hmmm. When I get down to the underwear on my wife it so rarely stays on for more than a minute….. who cares?

    Of course – the ratio of ladies to gentlemen (ahh, males) that participate in this comment column is probably no where near one to one. I’m thinking one to a hundred?

  7. When is Apple going to release the Wireless Boxers we’ve been hearing so much about? I’m really afraid that it’s going to be another boondogle like iPod sox but if they just stick with the latest (or even second latest) 802.11 standards, these babies could be made for walking. I mean, totally out in the middle of Death Vally but I’ve got my 50Mb Wireless boxers and I’m doing fine kind of walking.

  8. That would be briefs on the left and boxers on the right.

    Of course, when you split them that way and sew them Frankenstein style, you also end up with a pair that is boxers to the left and briefs to the right. That one goes to charity.

  9. I didn’t post (much) on the last one, so I’ll kill two birds with one stone and say;

    Captain Kirk in a Starfleet yellow teddy with matching stockings.

  10. I usually don’t give gratuitous pats on the back (or on anything else, for that matter), but I have to give two ‘OMFG I just about snarfed (thanks Del for that euphemism, I use it continuously now) my coffee all over the screen:

    1. ‘Asbestos-lined cast-iron briefs. With a plutonium testicle heater. Comfy.’ – by one. Oh that’s good stuff; the combination just rolls off the tongue there, well done.

    2. ‘Captain Kirk in a Starfleet yellow teddy with matching stockings.’ – by Streetrabbit. Well done again, good previous article tie in, smooth finish and disgusting visual, everything a good post needs.

  11. NO! Kirk was a Speedo briefs man all the way!

    Actually, it is amazing how a weird slightly naughty topic takes off (pun intended) on this site.

  12. Boxers or briefs? If you mean pugilists against attorneys, I’d bet on boxers every time. But then the lawyers would just sue the pants off them (pun intended) and win a big buttload of money.

  13. Actually I prefer red speedos over my blue leotards… Now if they were only Kryptonite-proof…

  14. Hm. Boxers provide a small, yet pleasing amount of room to move, whilst briefs ensure support and consistency of shape.

    So, which? Neither, cos I’VE GOT A BRAND SPANKING NEW POWERBOOK! Computing in bed! Underwear not required.

    How saucy am I?

  15. Hm. Boxers provide a small, yet pleasing amount of room to move, whilst briefs ensure support and consistency of shape.

    So, which? Neither, cos I’VE GOT A BRAND SPANKING NEW POWERBOOK! Computing in bed! Underwear not required.

    How saucy am I?

  16. I prefer boxers with jeans, then some physical activity.

    Nothing like a good pair of boxers riding up your ass

  17. Briefs, of course. Boxers are for old men or really cute guys who can get away with anything. And I do mean *anything*. Call me.

  18. Hmm… This is rather off-topic, but then again this is CARS.

    Appletweak (and Del) – you seem to be using “snarf” to mean the opposite of what I’m familiar with. That is, you use it to mean the sudden and unintended spewing of one’s oral contents, while I’ve always heard it used (and used it myself) to mean the rapid and copious consumption of comestibles – usually snacks or food of questionable nutritional value.

    Do I understand your usage properly? Is this, perhaps, an East-West dialectical difference (I live in the DC metro area)?

    Oh, and briefs! Who can move around comfortably with all that stuff dangling about and getting in the way (and potentially getting painfully squeezed)?! And the whole concern about sperm count is a load of nonsense unless you’ve already got reproductive issues (as my own three progeny can attest). Are all you guys advocating boxers for sperm-count reasons really all that concerned about the continuation of your genetic heritage? Or are you just confusing masculinity (or “performance”) with virility?

  19. …House at least where I grew up snarf is used to describe the violent expellation of liquid from your nose/mouth. Snarf is almost always the sound it seems to make when you do this. We use scarf to mean the rapid consumption of food.

    I had a friend in grade school that we could get to snarf her milk almost every day. She was easily made to laugh and we had good timing. Eventually she would just refuse to drink anything when other people were around.

    Snarfing also tended to be very popular due to the fact that the old style Vernors was abundant and anytime you got more than 4 kids together it turned into a Vernors chugging contest and chugging Vernors almost always led to snarfing.

    So there’s your snarf history lesson for the day.

    And now for something completely different.

  20. “I’m pretty sure they have no idea what the business model behind a rumor site looks like.”

    Did you not give them a copy of your pdf price list?

  21. When you say “anything,” you are, of course, refering to wearing one’s boxers on one’s head, right?

  22. Not to be racist, or anything, but whenever I see black dudes running they have to grab their pants with one hand to keep them from falling down! Ah, man… that stuff cracks me up!

  23. I like to rock-sack it! Yep, let my boys hang with no restrictions at all!

    Of course, during Keynotes, to keep the ladies from jumping out of their seats like they’re at a Tom Jones concert, I wear a jock strap. But it’s black, and it’s a turtleneck jockstrap in black.

    You can imagine what part the turtleneck holds. It’s quite comfy, and it’s not radioactive!

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