19 Sep 05Mac Events Cancelled.


IDG announced last week that it has cancelled Macworld Expo Boston. The company claimed that “the industry prefers one main industry event”, but clearly Apple’s decision several years ago to stop attending heavily impacted the importance of the event.

Following so quickly on the announcement that there will be no keynote at Macworld Expo Paris, the news cast a pall over the Mac community.

Indeed, many other events in the Mac world have recently been cancelled in a chain reaction of cancellation.

According to sources at Apple, Saturday night strip poker sessions with Senior Vice President of Applications Sina Tamaddon were cancelled this week due to “chair chafing.” Regular attendees are asked to moisturize diligently before next week’s session and bring a towel to sit on.

Meanwhile, Mac pundit John Gruber was forced to pull his two university extension classes – “Obsessing About Menu Item Placement” and “Online Writing for Obsessive/Compulsives” – when he fell into a deep funk about the small size of the clickable area around the Apple menu icon.

Mac maven Andy Ihnatko would like to announce that he has cancelled his scheduled trip to the comic book store this Thursday because New Avengers #11 isn’t shipping until next week and, frankly, Brian Michael Bendis’ run on the title is really the only thing that gets him out of bed anymore.

Across the Mac community, Talk Like A Pirate Day was called off “due to incredible lameness.” The image of pirates, it turns out, was dealt a more serious blow by Cutthroat Island than was previously thought. The pirating industry is concerned that it still may be years before the stigma has completely worn off and Geena Davis’ new fall drama isn’t exactly helping things.

And finally, Crazy Apple Rumors Site has cancelled this week’s Wednesday post so that we may focus on our charity work.

Which, yes, happens to involve “spotting” nubile PAC 10 college gymnasts as they nimbly perform their gyrations.

But that makes it sound much more tawdry than it is.

No Responses to “Mac Events Cancelled.”

  1. Martin Andresen says:

    FIRST!!!

  2. Tochiro says:

    Surely not second!

    Point of order! Pirates of the Caribbean pretty much redeemed the pirate movie…and there’s always the Sea Hawk to wipe the taste of Davis out of your mouth…

    Wait…that sounds dirty…Arrrrrrr.

  3. Ace Deuce says:

    Deuce!

  4. Ace Deuce says:

    Drat!

  5. Eric says:

    It was the Roman Polanski Pirates movie that destroyed the genre. Would Pirates of the carib been any good without the tension of wondering if that Kira chick was going to pop out of her bodice?

  6. PoisedNoise says:

    Well I’m cancelling no. 11 today. Yep, that’s right, Eleven’s cancelled. So there. Sorry.

  7. 2000guitars says:

    Chair Chafing? OMG.

  8. dan says:

    no such problems at my place, I purchased fabric chairs over leather for just that reason.

  9. Kiera says:

    I made them edit out the scenes where I popped out of my dress. I hadn’t tanned my chest for a while you know!

  10. Anonymous says:

    Amazing, never knew that Apple held a ‘do’ at Boston, Lincolnshire.

  11. The Invisible Evil Boys' Choir says:

    CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE!

    CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE!

    CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE!

    CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE! CHAFE!

  12. iBode says:

    A note of thank you to The Invisible Evil Boys’ Choir for observing the cancellation of 11.

  13. tom says:

    this site makes me laugh. out loud. everyone in my office keeps looking at me funny. fuck em!

  14. Streetrabbit says:

    Please tell me Cheese Eating Day is still on.

    Because if it isn’t then…well…I’ll just have to big it up on International Scream Like A Girl Day.

  15. Del says:

    Ay me mateys, keelhauling Talk Like A Pirate Day means none of ye scurvy dogs get to share in the booty.

    Arrrggghhh the booty is only for those brave lads ‘n lasses who uphold the Pirate Code even if it be for one day.

    Double shares for those who love and serve our dear departed Mega-Post.

    Grog and Booty in the Giga-Post.

  16. Saiko Yuden says:

    No one told me there even was a Talk Like a Pirate Day, much less that is was cancelled. If I’d known I’d have rented a parrot.

    Then, on finding out about the cancellation, I would have turned it loose in the office. Mayhem would have ensued, with hilarious results…

  17. blank says:

    Let’s hear some more about this “booty” of which you speak.

    Just curious.

  18. Steve Jobs says:

    I’m afraid I had to cancel all my keynotes for the rest of my life. I just realized I’m a humble, simple man with few needs. I have a lot of love to give. I want to serve mankind and make sure every person I encounter is happy and healthy, and finds true peace of mind in a world of cynics, bozos and technological drek that does nothing to bring about enlightenment in a person’s life.

    To that end, I announce I’m resigning from Apple and Pixar and will be joining the Martha Stewart Halfway House for Egomaniacs, followers of Urantia, lesbian ninja sexbot developers and Van Halen Roadies.

    Imagine – whirled peas.

  19. Okay, so I’m not so good and not throwing chairs and not cussion’ up a storm when I talk to traitors who go work for Google.

    Billie busted me, so now I’m the janitor in the executive washroom. Before you are allowed in here, you must take the unirnal test!

    http://www.drinknation.com/urinaltest.php

    Woo hoo! Yeah! Ha! Woot! Snort! Fffpt! Hahaha!

  20. Dwartz Farquhartz says:

    There’s a reason for the chafing.

    The Invisible Evil Boys’ Chair!

    I slay me sometimes.

  21. Arrr! ‘Twere I in that PotC movie, I would abscond with Kira – nightly… Har har har!

  22. You know, this spelling thing is contagious – it’s KEIRA! KEIRA KEIRA KEIRA!

    Back to the bilge now…

  23. Pan says:

    I’ve been reading comics for thirty years now and I think Brian Michael Bendis’ work on Daredevil is of a higher caliber actually. Maybe Andy should pick that up because a new story arc has just begun and… oh sorry, my Mom has just called out that dinner is on the table, gotta go.

    Excelsior!

  24. Arrr! We scurvy grog-drinkin’ PIRATES don’t do godforsaken barnacle-ridden KEYNOTES!

    Avast! What in the name of Blackbeard hisself is this comment board comin’ to! Arrrr! Nuthin’ but lily-livered wine-swillin’ LANDLUBBERS around here. Shiver me timbers, what’s a pirate to do?!

    Next year, I’d best see ye SCURVY SCUM talk like the pirates of yore, or else feel the BITE OF ME CUTLASS! That’s me sword, not me car, ye mangy dog! Off to Davy Jones’ locker ye go, Arr!

    (signed)

    Redbeard* The Pirate!!!

    *Okay, it’s more of a goatee/mustache combination, but it’s still red. Arrr!

    Maybe it’s got a little gray, I mean, “buccaneer blonde” in it. Yo ho!

  25. Del says:

    http://tomsmithonline.com

    Home of the official Talk Like a Pirate Day anthem.

  26. Nxxx says:

    As I pointed out on the mega post, pirates were well educated people who spoke received pronunciation English, more likely to say,”Forsooth, good sir, might I trouble you for your ship?” or something else of a polite nature. Even when being hanged, they were known to thank the executioner. So let’s be real?????? OMG….wrong site

  27. Shiver me timbers, ye scurvy dog! Who ‘re ye going ta believe, some hoity-toity “reality-based” poster, or me, a REAL pretend pirate!

    Yo ho, me hearties, we should make ’em WALK THE PLANK, says I!

    ARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

  28. Pirates are pretty kick ass and all, but Ninjas are *WAY* frickin’ cooler. Are you a man, or a scuba kitten?

  29. Avast! Ninja’s are simply badly dressed landlubbers, says I! We’d KEELHAUL any ninjas on our ship!

    Shiver me timbers! If we somehow merged ninjas and pirates, would could have….

    NINJA PIRATES!

    (’cause, me hearties, that would be so blow-me-down AWESOME! ARRRR!)

  30. For one, Ninjas can wail on the guitar *way* better than a pirate can. Especially the ones with the hooks for hands! Those guys would totally destroy the finish on a guitar, except if it was a Squire, those are cheap so it probably wouldn’t matter… anyway, I digress. With Apple canceling stuff left and right I’ve also decided to cancel a bunch of crap I was doing. Of course, my decision is not based on Jobs’ decision, or his idea. This is a completely independent idea of my own, and I am the one who innovated it up. So, I must cancel, cancel… [Balmer, what’s coming up that we can cancel?… no, we can’t cancel the release of Vista. What’s wrong with you?… no, because Jobs canceled a bunch of stuff and he’s looking really important and I need to look important too. oh yeah, cool, good one. Bananas are on the house, monkeyman… nothing!]

    I hearby cancel “Microsoft Executive Circle Webcast: A Conversation with Avanade: Business Justifications for Modernizing Your Collaboration Platform”. I’m *much* too busy to do that. More cancelations coming up, ‘cus I’m really important and all.